I Four-Letter You

3

3

Ferrous

"Thanks, dad..." I said when I received a bonus allowance. Iyon ang dahilan kaya siya pumunta sa kwarto ko. He didn't enter, tho.

"Alright. Always do your best in your studies. Stop depriving yourself of sleep." His tone was flat. He was never expressive.

Hindi ko maintindihan minsan kung okay ba kami o hindi. You see, my Mom died while delivering me. He loved her so much he gave her the world she deserved. When I was young, he used to drink a lot. He never hurt me physically and verbally, but I felt like there were times he was just controlling himself not to say stuff. Minsan pakiramdam ko gusto n'ya akong sisihin.

After years, he married again, the reason I have stepsisters. Ka-edad ko ang isa, samantalang pitong taon pa lang ang anak niya sa pangalawang asawa. But I have no issues with them. They are nice people. They treat me like we share the same blood.

When I closed the door, I went straight to my table.

97 percent ang prelim grade ko sa FAR. It was a good grade. Some of my classmates even got a 7 because the subject was really hard, needlessly to say our instructor was even worse.

Ang daming adjustments ngayong college. Most of the time you have to self-learn. But I get it though. We're getting older so we have to change our culture.

I leaned on my swivel. Someone got 98, and it was amazing of him. Si Singco ang numero uno sa listahan ng ranking ni dean. Sumunod ako.

I sighed deeply. I want to be the first again. Gusto ko nang sabihin ulit kay daddy na ako ang una sa lahat. I want to make him proud of me. Kasi palagay ko... I could only make him love me through my academic achievements.

I did better in midterms. Kahit first week pa lang ng term, nag-aaral na ako nang mabuti. Pinupuyat ko rin ang sarili ko dahil sa pressure. Pressure na galing lang din naman sa 'kin.

"Ngayon ang schedule ng COA, 'di ba?" tanong sa akin ni Essa.

Tumango ako. "Yup. Para sa preparation ng sportsfest. Bukas naman ang nursing..."

Excused ang athletes and players. At saka plus two sa final grade kapag champion, plus one naman for participation, kaya naman sumali ako.

Mga uhaw sa plus points.

Mind games ang sinalihan ko. Pwede ang multi-event kaya chess, games of the general, at scrabble ang sinalihan ko. Hindi naman sabay-sabay ang event kaya ayos lang. Nag tryouts din sa mga 'yan at ako ang nanalo sa tatlo.

Naglalakad ako sa covered walk bitbit ang isang box ng tubig nang may humarang sa akin.

The Fifth.

"Ano?" bwisit kong tanong sa kan'ya.

Kinuha n'ya yung box kaya hinila ko rin agad. His eyebrows creased. May mga nanonood sa amin, mga nag-aaral sa benches.

"I'll help you..."

"Ayaw ko nga," sabi ko at nilagpasan na siya.

I heard him sigh soundly. Hinarangan ulit ako.

He's tall and handsome. I couldn't deny it. Nakakainis nagwa-gwapuhan din ako sa kan'ya kahit nakakairita talaga siya.

"Why is it so hard for you to accept that you need help?" biglang sabi n'ya habang hawak ng isang kamay n'ya ang baywang nito.

Naka blue siya na jersey, basa ang mga dulo ng buhok dahil sa pawis. May training kasi sila. Babad sa araw dahil ginagawa pa naman ang bagong gym namin.