When Love Arrives (H.S.)

Chapter 42

The next month was one of the best months of my entire life, surprisingly. Despite the tragedy of my grandfather's passing, I found that things were only looking up in the weeks to follow. I had been thoroughly convinced that my world was ending, but that experienced caused me to learn that life goes on. You may feel like your world has stopped spinning, but school doesn't stop, work doesn't stop, your boyfriend certainly does not stop. Our society is designed in a way that forces us, as people, to keep on keeping on, as they say, and for once I felt very grateful for society.

More than that, I feel like being in love with Harry fast forwarded my entire grieving process... It sounds bad, I guess, but he really helped me start to heal. He helped me realize that I could move on, and that I should. 

As I got back into my routine, I willed myself to attend my classes and exams during the last week of school after catching up with my online work. Finals week had brought on a lot of stress in my life, since I still felt fairly behind, but it was a welcome stress since it all felt very normal. Semesters end, finals suck, papers are long, Iago is the world's hardest grader-- These truths brought me back to reality, just where I wanted to be. It was the same with my hectic work schedule, I was back to working every single day, but that was the way I liked it. 

Things haven't been perfect, of course. It's been really tough, dealing with Gramps' passing and the way that it all went down. My other grandparents had passed away when I was much younger, so this was the first time I really felt an overwhelming need to mourn somebody. The first time that I immediately felt his absence from this world. I immediately felt less human, less Melissa Knight. 

I had been through every range of emotion. I'd been so angry that I wanted to punch Niall in the face-- which wasn't that weird of an emotion for me, honestly, but last week I actually took a swing at him (don't worry, Harry stopped me)--, I'd woke up crying, I'd stayed up for hours and hours trying to figure this whole thing out, and even more hours just missing him. 

Things with the rest of my family were kind of the same. Things were a little better, since they all seemed to really really like Harry now, but we still weren't a family. Not really. I hadn't even seen any of them since the memorial. I hadn't really wanted to see them, but they hadn't even played with the idea of doing something all together. That's what parents are supposed to do. I wished that things would have changed, that Gramps' passing would have changed our entire family dynamic into something it never was. But still, this anything-but-closeness was better than our usual state of World War III. 

Despite my family being the way that they are, Harry has been so helpful and supportive through all of this. I loved him more and more everyday... 

Okay, maybe that's not exactly true... But it certainly felt that way. It really did. I used to think it was really freaking lame when people would make that claim...  Like,"I love you more and more every single day, oh life is so beautiful when you are around me my darling, the sky is singing, the birds are blue," etc., etc., etc. It was very, like, Nicholas Sparks of people to say that someone could make them feel that way. I never completely bought it. 

I would be lying, though, if I said that Harry hadn't brought out the major romantic inside of me. I'm not sure if that's because, within the last month, we had officially established our being in love or if we were just having a lot of sex. Because we were having a lot of sex. 

I've learned that sex can be used for a lot of different purposes. There's, of course, making love, which sounds super lame but is really wonderful and definitely a fan favorite for Harry and I. But there are also a lot of other kinds that I never thought of. Like morning sex to wake up, or distraction sex when I'm super stress out or sad, or just like this sexy sex which is just kind of... hot. Well, everything Harry did was hot. But the way I felt under him, or over him, clenched around him, was unlike anything I had ever experienced in my entire life... And... Wow. As much as I felt more in love with Harry everyday, I also felt myself sounding more and more like Erica everyday, which only slightly concerned me.