Bambi (Matt Sturniolo)

33

When Matt was six, he a goldfish.

He asked for a dog, but his Mom didn't think he was responsible enough to take care of a dog, so she got him a fish. Despite not being as cool as a dog, the fish was great. Matt loved him a lot and named him Mr Finn.

Mr Finn died a week after coming home. It took Matt a month to get over his death because it was his first experience losing something that meant a lot to him.

He was too little when his Dad went away. He was four, and Justin was six. He guessed it was hard for his Mom and Justin to deal with a big loss. He had nightmares from losing his fish, imagine losing a person.

Nicole was his second experience of loss that took a heavy toll on him. But then he found a better piece to fill the void when he went back to Boston for your Mom's funeral. You both lost someone you loved, but you found each other.

You spent the last month of the summer travelling around Europe. You only agreed to go because you couldn't say no to Paris, but you were happy during the trip and that made him very happy.

That was until summer ended.

There was no perfect time for finding out a loved one passed away, but it shouldn't have been at the airport five minutes after he landed back in L.A. It was Justin who called and broke the news. Their Mom was devastated and needed him to come home, so he immediately called an Uber at the airport and of course, you didn't let him go alone.

Matt wasn't close to his stepdad, but he loved the guy because he made his Mom happy. Now, she cried herself to sleep, like she did when his Dad left.

Mr Finn died because Matt overfed him. He lost Nicole the same way, by loving her too much. When he tried not to love someone as much as they loved him, he ended up losing you. Loss had no expiration date, but people did. And no matter how old you were, you would keep losing people.

~

"Matt, wake up! Wake up!"

The first thing Matt saw when he opened his eyes was you, staring back at him. He blinked, trying to get back to reality when he felt you snuggle your face into his neck.

"You're safe, babe. I'm here" you said and he pulled you closer.

It was the third time this week that Matt had a nightmare. The first one was when he got back to L.A after the funeral, the second was just two nights ago.

"Is it the same dream?" You asked. You seemed concerned, so he smiled and kissed your head.

"You didn't even leave a note this time" he said. "I went to your place and someone else was living there"

"No wonder you kept asking 'where is she?' in your sleep" you laughed, running your fingers through his hair.

"I'm sorry I woke you"

"I woke up a long time ago. I was watching you sleep"

"Creepy"

"Shut up. You love me-"

"Move in with me"

"What?" Your face was frozen as you pulled away from him.

Matt's face turned red and he sat back resting against the headboard. You kneeled in front of him, waiting for to break the silence.

"I'm sorry. I...I didn't mean that"

"You didn't?"

"No, I mean...yeah I did, but I-"

What was he rambling about?

"I do want that. I want you to move in with me" he blurted with his eyes closed. When he opened them, you were staring at your hands, not at him. He knew the question came out at the worst time, but he didn't expect this reaction.