Dead On Arrival

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Looking back, I realise I have no idea what the hell I'm doing in this book, like I'm doing my mocks and haven't given much thought into this Fan-fiction, been writing more like one-shots and not a chronological series of events. I've also never written something like this before, so I can only hope my writing gets better. Pitiful excuses, but that's just me.

Entering the water bed palace, there was an eerie silence. A couple of beds had rope tied to their posts and a large double-bladed battle axe lay on the floor near a valentine shaped honeymoon bed, which slightly waved its blankets. Turning to Elara with his hands on his hips, he said, "Huh, guess this is the new lair of Procrustes. Ever met him?"  

"No, but our eldersssssss alwaysssssss usssssssed him to sssssscare the younglingssssss into going to sssssssleep." 

(Y/N) chuckled a little at this. "Funny, I used to scare the younger demi-gods at camp with the threat of Apollo falling in love with them." 

Elara covered her mouth and let out a little giggle too. Wandering around the store, they looked for any hints of where the trio had departed to. Soon enough they stumbled across a notice board, decorated with varying coloured flyers and posters. There was an advertisement for Hermes Delivery Service, and another for the All-New Compendium of L.A. Area Monsters—"The only Monstrous Yellow Pages you'll ever need!" Under that, a bright orange flyer for DOA Recording Studios, offering commissions for heroes' souls. "We are always looking for new talent!" DOA's address was right underneath with a map. Hades was getting lazier with guiding mortal souls every century. 

"Well, it appears our young demi-god friends have taken a leave to Hades, ever been there?" 

Elara shook her head. 

"Well I have, and going on a katabasis is never good. Hades always gets something from you." 

Turning back to the notice board, he looked over a few of the advertisements for deals until he heard the ruffling of sheets in the background. Behind him, Elara had slithered into one of the water beds and collapsed in a heap. 

"Hey, we gotta get going." (Y/N) demanded with a slight frown. 

"Five minutesssssss, pleassssssse?" she begged. 

Sighing, (Y/N) crawled into the bed next to her. "Mm, this is good. Maybe we can extend that to ten, just don't fall asleep."

Twenty minutes later, they emerged from Crusty's water bed palace. Stretching out, (Y/N) pulled out the map to DOA studios and they continued their tracking.  Soon enough, they were in the shadows of Valencia Boulevard, looking up at gold letters etched in black marble: DOA RECORDING STUDIOS.Underneath, stencilled on the glass doors: NO SOLICITORS. NO LOITERING. NO LIVING.It was almost midnight, but the lobby was brightly lit and full of people.Behind the security desk sat a tough-looking guard with sunglasses and an earpiece. Pushing the doors open, the two entered, the doors slamming dramatically shut behind them. Muzak played softly on hidden speakers. The carpet and walls were steel grey. Pencil cacti grew in the corners like skeleton hands. The furniture was black leather, and every seat was taken. There were people sitting on couches, people standing up, people staring out the windows or waiting for the elevator. Nobody moved, or talked, or did much of anything, so typical 'ghost' behaviour. Waltzing towards the elevated guard podium, he stood on his toes to peek over and get a glimpse of what the guard was working on. Surprise surprise, it was an Italian soap opera, black and white. The guard looked up, doing a double take upon seeing the son of Asclepius and a dracaena. 

"So, four demi-gods and a dracaena in one day? What have the fates got planned?..." 

"I'm sure you can ponder that marvellous question at some point later in your eternal existence Charon, but right now I need to get into the underworld." 

The ferryman looked at (Y/N) quizzically. 

"And why's that? Another rant at Hades? Or following around more god spawn?" (Y/N) growled at Charon, the ferryman chuckling to himself at getting on the young physicians nerves. 

"As a matter of fact, yes, I am playing dog once again to the children of Olympus. However, this time I may escape my servitude, unlike you and your endlessly monotonous task." 

"Fair, youngling. I'll let you pass just because I wish to see where this little odyssey of yours takes you. Just, tell Hades about..." 

"The pay raise? Yeah, you've been saying that for hundreds of years now, I commend your determination though." 

He rose from his seat and glided towards the elevator behind him, beckoning them to follow. 

"Sssssssomething feelssssss wrong here, a sssssscent mosssssst powerful travelled here." muttered Elara, slowly sliding across the marble floor. 

(Y/N) too felt a little uneasy in the lobby, but just slid his hand into hers and gripped it tightly, shooting a little smile at her. Entering the elevator with Charon, they began their descent into the Underworld.

When they reached the fiery wasteland of Hades, they were already standing in a wooden barge. Charon was poling them across a dark, oily river,swirling with bones, dead fish, and other, stranger things—plastic dolls,crushed carnations, soggy diplomas with gilt edges. The Styx seemed to be even more polluted than last time. 

"Does the Lord plan on doing something about the mortal-dream pollution?" (Y/N) mused, gazing into the disgusting river. 

"I don't imagine he does anytime soon, he barely leaves his palace anymore, even when the Lady isn't here." 

Mist curled off the filthy water. Above them, almost lost in the gloom, was a ceiling of stalactites. Ahead, the far shore glimmered with greenish light, the colour of poison. The son of Asclepius just had to bottle some of that for the future. Soon enough, the shoreline of the Underworld came into view. Craggy rocks and black volcanic sand stretched inland about a hundred yards to the base of a high stone wall, which marched off in either direction as far as they could see. A sound came from somewhere nearby in the green gloom, echoing off the stones—the howl of a large animal.

"Old Three-Face is hungry," Charon said. His smile turned skeletal in the greenish light. "Unfortunately, that means the three before you got past him." 

Tossing (Y/N) a massive dog treat from underneath one of the barge seats. "Give him this and he'll probably let you pass." 

Now carrying the rod in one hand and a comically large dog biscuit in the other, he responded, 

"Thanks Charon for all the help, I'll make sure to send you a postcard when I'm in Athens." 

The ferryman snorted. "Yeah, I don't know about that one kid." 

The two shared a grin before they arrived at the shore and (Y/N) and Elara departed. There were three separate entrances under one huge black archway that said YOU ARE NOW ENTERING EREBUS. Each entrance had a pass-through metal detector with security cameras mounted on top. Beyond this were tollbooths manned by black-robed ghouls like Charon. The dead queued up in the three lines, two marked ATTENDANT ON DUTY,and one marked EZ DEATH. The EZ DEATH line was moving right along. The other two were crawling. (Y/N) always found it weird that people wouldn't take the risk for Elysium, but he guessed mortals just didn't have the same type of ambition as demi-gods. Walking further down along the side of the line to the fields of Elysium, a (relatively) familiar face revealed itself, that being the slobbering head of Cerberus. 

"Hey there buddy, yeah, I missed you too." he said, cuddling all three of the dogs huge heads. 

From the corner of his eye he saw Elara standing there, visibly uncomfortable with her surroundings. 

"Don't be afraid, nothing here wants to or will hurt you. Come over here, three heads are quite the handful for one person." 

She nervously edged over to the son of Asclepius where he pulled her into a deep embrace. 

Whispering into her neck, he reassured her, "I don't know your entire life story, and I don't need to, but know that I'm here for you now. And I will protect you, Elara." 

(Y/N) had no idea how long they stood there, surrounded by spirits and the dead, on a desolate little hill with the endless expanse of Hades in front of them, but it was some of the best few minutes of his existence. 




The Son Of Asclepius, Demi-god DoctorWhere stories live. Discover now