tony stark whump

"you got daddy issues, and i do too."

tony finds comfort in the fact that loki understands what its like to be hurt too (request?)

set before all the marvel movies; high school au

tw: abuse

~NO POV~

Tony Stark hated his father. He hated Howard Stark for loving Captain America more than his own son, for always preaching about how Stark men are made of iron, and made Tony feel pathetic for feeling. He hated the fact that Howard talked with his hands and feet, and only ever shouted with his mouth.

What Tony hated most about his father, was the fact that what Tony wanted most in the world was Howard's attention, Howard's approval, Howard's love. Tony was extraordinary, a child prodigy; it wouldn't be hard for a normal father to love him. But Howard didn't, and Tony hated him for that.

Tony figured out quickly that he had daddy issues. If people knew what to look for, they'd spot it from miles away. He'd done his research on this; boys with daddy issues tend to feel uncomfortable expressing emotions, tend to rebel, struggle with commitment and tend to sleep around. Apparently sleeping around was a way to get positive touch, because any other type of touch meant pain.

Tony hated the way he related to them all but the last one.

He knew exactly why he was that way, and if he'd seen anyone else with the same issues, then maybe he'd feel less ashamed of himself. It was funny, to him, because he wasn't really the one to blame, but with the way Howard was, it was so easy for Tony to blame himself. When Howard criticised him, it had to be Tony's fault for not being better.

At sixteen years old, Tony really fucking hated himself. He hated Howard just a little bit more.

Tony lived on the rich-rich people road. As in, everyone on that road had houses spaced out because their houses were pretty much mansions. Tony wasn't ashamed to say he lived in a mansion, but he'd never flaunt it, because living in such a large place without anyone really there, was really fucking lonely.

His next door neighbours were the Odinsons. Thor Odinson was part of that group, the group of people who were so kind and caring and enviable that Tony hated them. He hated them in the same way he hated his father; he wanted attention from them. But they hated him because everyone else did.

Loki Odinson, however, was different. Rumours went round that he wasn't really an Odinson, that he was actually adopted, but no one could prove it, and Thor would proudly admit that his mischievous, rebellious brother was his brother, no matter what. It was Thor's proud love for Loki that made Tony sometimes wish he had a brother, a sister, just a sibling to be there with.

But Tony knew another sibling would probably mean another kid suffering from abuse, and Tony wouldn't wish his father on anyone else. 

Sometimes, Tony would catch Loki sneaking out of his second-floor window, climbing down with such practice that it was obvious Loki did this a lot. Tony's window faced his, so it was easy to see. Whenever Tony closed his curtains, he'd always be surprised to see the boy in the year above sneaking out. 

Loki always grinned when he caught Tony staring, even though something seemed off about it. 

Tony and Loki had never spoken before. Neither had Thor and Tony. But Tony knew Thor would be easy to get along with, if he tried, if he dropped his stupid asshole act he put up to scare people away from him; so they wouldn't see what he was really like. But with Loki, Tony had a feeling they were pretty similar.