tony stark whump

"tony stark, not recommended."

where tony can't stop thinking about what natasha wrote in her report

set after the first avengers movie; all other movies are non-compliant

tw: self-hatred, suicide

~NO POV~

After the Battle of New York, Tony thought he'd never see the Avengers again. If he was being honest, he didn't want to see the Avengers again. That first battle preyed on his inexperienced mind and haunted him, in public, in private and in slumber. He didn't want to see them again because that meant fighting again.

But a part of him felt himself get attached to the Avengers during the fight, maybe because he was about to die and it was an honour fighting with them, and that scared him. Attachment was terrifying, and so was commitment. A lot of things scared him, but attachment was the worst.

Because he couldn't get attached to the Earth's Mightiest Heroes. They were strong, powerful, respected people and Tony Stark was the Merchant of Death. He attracted death like a flowers attracted bees. He killed, and people he cared for died, and there was no way the Avengers could fall into that trap.

But they did. They did, because of Nick Fury, that sly bastard. He decided it would strengthen the bond between the team if they all lived together, in the Stark Tower, which Tony did not agree to. He didn't offer his and Pepper's baby to be for the Avengers, but Fury didn't even ask and before he knew it, the Avengers were moving into the renovated tower.

The Avengers Tower.

Pepper moved back to the Malibu house after that, and Tony sighed and let her. He was going to move back with her, but Fury demanded he stayed. He didn't even know why. Iron Man, yes. Tony Stark, not recommended. He wasn't even an official Avenger; he was just a consultant.

Fury told him to shut up and dumped a bunch of Avengers in his tower, and then he was gone. The Avengers stood awkwardly and listened to Tony explain where all the guest rooms were. By the next week, they had everything they needed from personal rooms to communal places to hang out. 

And yet, none of them spoke to Tony, except to say a simple thank you. He invited the heroes of the world into his home, and it still felt like he was the only one there.

Bruce Banner was Tony's favourite out of the Avengers. Not because of the Hulk or anything, but because they were science bros, and no one understood Tony's mind like Bruce. Besides, they worked well together, with Bruce mostly quiet and Tony mostly rambling. Their minds worked well together and they made tons of useful things that the rest of the Avengers wouldn't have had a clue on how to make.

Aside from Bruce, Tony didn't have any friends in the tower. Rogers made his dislike for Tony clear, and clearly avoided the man to the best of his abilities. There was something about Tony that rubbed him the wrong way, so the two stayed away from each other.

Romanoff was dangerous. Tony made no move to talk to her in fear that she'd castrate him, or kill him with a spoon or something like that. They had no reason to not be friends, but Tony still strayed. She wasn't very reactive with her facial expressions, but whenever Tony looked at her, it seemed like she wanted to look anywhere else. Like she didn't want to be around him.

Tony didn't blame her. 

Iron Man, yes. Tony Stark, not recommended. 

Barton was funny and sarcastic, and had a weird obsession with hiding in the vents. But he didn't like Tony. He assumed it was some sort of friendship thing- Romanoff doesn't like him, so Barton doesn't either. Whenever Tony was around, Barton looked at him with distaste, and ever since, he'd kept his distance from him too.