i sighed heavily, the mess we had made now tidied up and his lesson learned (i.e. don't keep secrets). the two of us were exhausted, he was laying on the bed with his arms and legs splayed comfortably - and his face buried within the pillows. he had a fresh pair of shorts and a clean shirt on, and over that—to my surprise, he had my hoodie on. i sat next to him, the bed creaking beneath me when i did so. i peered down at him, the pillow that hid his face was soaked. it didn't take long for me to realize..
he was crying.
my heart sunk in my chest, a deep pain i've grown to know—as i picked him up. i cradled him in my arms, his body was light and weak. tears rolled down his cheeks, i couldn't help but blame myself. did i do something wrong? was he in pain? what was going on? "hey, hey.." i whispered, as if i spoke normally it might scare him away. "what's going on?" i questioned, and he tilted his head to look at me as he spoke. his chest was shaking with each breath he took. albeit words seemed too painful for him, he still pushed through.
"i d-don't.. i don't know why i'm- i'm crying.." his voice strained, but he managed to sob out a little laugh—as if he found the whole situation pathetic enough to find amusement in. his voice was wavering, he could barely speak a proper sentence without breaking.
"thats okay... its okay." i responded, coddling him like he wasn't a nineteen year old—rather a child, like when we had just met. though his words reassured me, i still had yet to stop blaming myself. did i hurt him? did he dislike what had happened? did i read him wrongly? he continued to sob, salty tears gliding over his skin and falling onto his clothes.
god, i don't know how to help..
i held him carefully, and soon enough—he cried enough that he fell asleep. his exhaustion overcoming his fret and taking him into rest. i didn't want to let go, i wanted to fix this—i wanted to help. i wanted to make him feel better.
how the hell can i help *him feel better when *i don't even understand how to feel?
why was this bothering me so much?
STAI LEGGENDO
Forget Me Not (BL)
Storie d'amoreThe story of empty love. To receive and yet not understand. Theo is a young man with his world collapsing. Leto is trying his hardest to keep him together, and at arms length. When morality is forgotten for the sake of protection, and jealousy leads...
