Forget Me Not (BL)

(1) Meet

a life without living. something many people haven't even took a moment to imagine. what is it like to live without feelings? to live without anything but solid remorse.. that in truth - you don't truly know you even feel that at all.

why don't i show you?

...lets start on day one.

my first memory, the one i savor and pray i'll never forget. i remember perfectly, it was a day unlike any other - the sun was shining, and the sky was clear.

unfortunate.

i was around seven when i remember such. i was looking at a lovely oil painting by someone whose signature i couldn't read through all the scratches of the paint. the lineage, the strokes of each wad of paint were perfect. from the softest of blues, to the brightest of pinks painted on the old canvas - i sat and stared. i could hear people talking behind me, their voices a faint murmur to a yell. i could see the peoples reflections in the glass barrier that kept lunatics from ruining the artwork - the shadows, their figures - a woman. and a man. they yelled, and they yelled, and they didnt stop. their son, probably around my age - stood aside me, also admiring the painting. he didnt know what was going on either, he just wanted to see the skies blue, and the sun shining - just like i.

i guess thats how we met.

his poor soul, he turned to me. he was looking at the mesmerizing paint strokes - and then me, and back, and fourth - over and over. and then he spoke. his voice wavered.. one i would never forget. it was the sound of a broken toy, the cry of a pained animal, the squall of a un-greased  door hinge.
"...help." he pleaded, his eyes were filled with tears he pried to hold back. i watched him, my expression unmoving. and at that moment, i don't know what told me to - or even why i did it. i reached for his hands, his frail, dainty fingers intertwining with mine - and we ran. we ran, and ran. we left the art museum, or such.. i can't remember exactly where we were. we ran until our legs stopped working, in the woods, across the streets. as far as our fragile bones could take us. and we never dared look back.

we ducked behind tree roots, large ones, small ones, as if hiding was a game. we ran till dawn, and hid from the moon and the stars beneath the trees of the vast forest we found ourselves in.

we found ourselves hiding out in a broken log, it had a tree fallen over it's rotting stand and seemed almost like pure luck we found it. it was almost like a hut, and as tired children - we came to hide in our home for the night. i crawled beneath the scrappy bark, and he followed. it was a tight space, and so, he had to squeeze close to i. his legs were wrapped around my hips, and his head was pressed against my chest. his warmth felt so comforting, yet so distant to i. i noticed he was shaking, i didn't know whether it was from exhaustion or anything else - but his frail body trembled in my arms, and i didn't know much else to do but pull him closer.

and so we slept.