Fragments in Time( Oikawa Tooru x F!Reader fanfiction)

Chapter 7: Where did it all go wrong?

6 months ago- omniscient point of view

Tooru could already hear the angry tapping of your feet. He was only behind the door to your shared apartment, but he could already tell there would be a storm.

He took a deep breath, slowly unlocking the door.

"Where have you been?" you ask.

You look furious, with bags under your eyes. (y/n) must've been waiting for me.

"(y/n) I've been at the training center, that's all."

"Yeah, no shit, Sherlock, you're always at the training center. You practically live there."

"(y/n) come on. It's not like I cheated on you."

Tooru saw your eyes twitch and knew immediately that he wasn't getting out of this unscathed.

"Cheating isn't the only thing that matters, Tooru."

You felt your eyes well up and took a shaky breath, trying to calm yourself down. You felt your lungs flutter. The petals would come up any moment now if you didn't try to calm yourself the fuck down right away. What would happen if Tooru discovered why you were so concerned with his presence? It was too complicated, and it made you depressed just thinking about it.

Why do I always act this way when I actually have to confront someone?

"Tooru, you never come home anymore."

"I do come home (y/n). This is my apartment, you know."

"You come home, but do you really? Home is where you talk to your friends, watch a movie, and relax. You haven't relaxed in months. And more than that. You don't come home to me. You're killing yourself, and you're killing me too. I want you to be here with me, even if it's just an hour a day. Even if it's just us watching a movie, falling asleep, and waking up to BBC animal documentaries."

"(y/n), you know I have the Olympics in less than two years. This is how I expand and how I secure many sponsorships. Can't you just wait a little longer? Give me a little space?"

"God. Don't you hear me, Tooru? I want you. I want you here with me."

Tooru sighed. He walked over to you, looking you in the eyes. He knew you weren't a monster and just being you, so he kept walking until he stood beside you.

"Okay (y/n), I'll try."

He hugged you, and you cried into his chest like you had a million times before whenever you were upset. He knew how to calm you and make you happy but didn't want to try. He knew how to decipher you like an old text but didn't seem to know that you were breaking inside.

He said what you wanted to hear, but you knew better. You knew his words were empty promises. As for you, you were too insecure and stuck in your own mind to bother telling him why you cared so much, at least one of the most concerning reasons as to why you cared so much, so you let it go and stopped trying.

3 weeks later

You sighed to yourself, stretching your back. You looked over your balance sheet again, trying to see if there was a way to afford to stay in Buenos Aires. Well...it wasn't like it wasn't.

You could afford to have roommates, work, and go to school, but you had no idea how the Hanahaki surgery would go. You had already done a deep dive into the Internet, trying to find out exactly what could happen.

What if he kicks me out before I even have a chance to find a roommate? I would just be homeless in a foreign country. Even if I plan around that, there's still the Hanahaki surgery. My student insurance covers it but does not cover a hospital stay that long. What if I have complications? And then, if I go back to that, there is also the potentially homeless situation if my roommates don't really feel like keeping me as a roommate who isn't paying rent. God, why do I do this to myself?

" I guess the best option is just staying here for 6 more months, go to graduation...without Tooru and then get a one-way flight back to Japan and forget I spent 21 years of my life with Tooru by my side."

I feel so lonely. I'm in a relationship, and I've never felt more alone in my entire life. I have such a nice life. I live in a nice apartment without worrying about my bills, yet I'm unhappy. Shouldn't this be enough? But I'm not, because I love him. I love him too much for the money to fill my void. I love him. I love him so much. But Tooru is treating me as if he was forced into an arranged marriage where neither of us loves each other. It doesn't matter where he is because our being together was only needed for the title.

Life isn't a dream, so I just have to think logically.

Who am I trying to lie to? It certainly wouldn't be easy for me, but it was the most straightforward option. Running away from the fact that my body had clearly shown that I couldn't give up on loving Tooru. I'm too lazy to move out, rent a place, and work for rent and food. And too afraid to talk to just sit him down and have a genuine conversation. I guess I've always been a little passive.

This is what I deserve for being so selfish.

~~~~~~

Same time but at a local restaurant.

"Sir, is there anything else you want to order?"

"Oh, um, could you get the Matambre a la Pizza for takeout? It's for my girlfriend."

"Alright, your food will arrive shortly."

Tooru watched the waiter leave, feeling a bit disconnected from the world, probably due to all his training. It is finally going to his head.

Maybe I'm coming down with a cold. I'll just have to drink a bunch of medicine.

Tooru scrolled on his phone mindlessly as he waited for his food. He kept doing so until he felt a tap on his shoulder.

"Hey, can I get a picture? I'm your biggest fan," a cheery high school girl said.

"Yeah, sure." He took the photo, giving his fakest smile. He felt himself puffing out his chest. With all this hard work, the attention, and the chance to play volleyball at a level he could never have imagined, everything felt right, and most importantly, he had his girlfriend.

"I hope to be like you one day...and I was wondering, are you dating anyone? Do athletes even date?" the girl asked.

"Yeah, I have a girlfriend."

"That must be nice. How do you manage with the training?"

His smile dropped almost immediately; the memories of them fighting hurt, but he quickly smiled again.

"Well, she and I understand how hard I need to work."

"I see."

Yes, she'll understand. Surely, she'll forgive me. I'll improve our lives if I concentrate on my work. Of course, she always does.