tension // lee minho

chapter thirty-six

"well still." i cross my arms.

"you're adorable." he suddenly compliments, my eyes widening in panic. a few days ago, i would have liked it. but now with the new thoughts swirling in my mind about minho, i wasn't so sure... suddenly, he pulls the car over, driving through a small opening in the woods.

"uh... what are you doing?" i ask, watching as he drove further into the small opening.

"showing you something." he shrugs.

"in the woods?" i ask, feeling a little panicked.

"relax, look." he chuckles, pointing out the windshield. there was suddenly a small opening in the woods, a pretty waterfall landing into a small river below, and there was a fallen tree, going perfectly across the river. it was beautiful.

"another place you take pictures, i'm assuming?" i ask.

"yup. pretty isn't it?" he parks the car, leaning back happily in his seat.

"it is." i agree, feeling hypnotized by the way the water splashed into the river.

"that tree wasn't always there, i remember when i came here and saw it down for the first time. it made it more beautiful." i nod as i listened to his words, trying to imagine the scene without the fallen tree. but i felt his gaze burning into the side of my face, and i couldn't stop myself from looking over to meet his eyes. that was a mistake.

his glanced down to my lips, letting his gaze linger there for a little longer than i would have liked. fuck. he definitely likes me... i didn't know if i could return his feelings. before i could keep thinking, he places his hand on the side of my face, gazing deeply into my eyes. my breath getting caught in my throat.

"can i kiss you?" he asks, tilting his head cutely like he always did. fuck.

"i... y-yes..." i respond. it was a good way to see if i had feelings for him. maybe this could help me figure out everything with minho. i shouldn't even be thinking about minho right now... it wasn't fair to seungmin. despite my internal battle, he presses his lips softly against mine. i took a moment to close my eyes and kiss him back. the kiss was sweet, no doubt, but it did nothing for me. my mind still full of minho.

"he said my heart lives in my vagina."

i recall my conversation with chan. maybe soobin was right.

no. don't even think about it, soomin...

you can't just sleep with people to see if you have feelings for them...

my internal lecture meant nothing, my hands having a mind of their own as i reach over, placing my hand on seungmin's thigh. seungmin smiles into the kiss, and i found myself subconsciously scooting closer to him.

"wait..." seungmin stops me to my complete surprise, bringing me back to reality. "something's wrong." he shakes his head, studying my face.

"w-what do you mean?" i ask.

"you... you don't want this." he concludes. was i that obvious?

"no... i- i do! i just-"

"there's someone else?" he asks. fuck.

"i... i don't know..." i answer honestly.

"do you... want to talk about it?" he clears his throat, suddenly creating more space between us.

"we don't have too... i'm sorry..." i trail off, guilt coursing through my veins. i knew i should have cancelled this date. i knew he felt a little more for me.

"look... i really like spending time with you. i've had this feeling that you don't feel exactly the same way that i do, but that doesn't change the fact that i like being around you." i look over at him with sad eyes. "i'm saying... i'm okay with being your friend. i don't want to just throw away this friendship we've created because i caught feelings too soon."

"i'm really sorry... he... he wasn't a problem when we first met, but things have changed... and i... i'm just confused, i guess..."

"i get it, really. it's okay." he assures me. i felt like crying. the overwhelming emotions i've felt the past few days all bubbling to the surface. seungmin, who i hadn't known for very long, had already confessed his feelings, but minho? if he had them, he certainly wasn't voicing it. but could i blame him? neither was i. "hey, don't cry." seungmin wiped away a tear i didn't even know had fallen. "he's really got you fucked up, huh?" i chuckle dryly.

"i think it's just me... i put myself in this situation." i say, feeling slightly bitter.

"well... maybe we can figure out how to get you out of it." he places his hand on my thigh, but this time, it didn't feel like he wanted more. it felt comforting. and i started to think,

maybe seungmin's perspective couldn't hurt.