Against The Tide (Formerly Two Tribes)

59: Deep-rooted Emotions

As Najah left the room, Jameel remained in his position; the weight of guilt settled upon him like a heavy fog. His heart sank deep into his chest, burdened by the fact that Najah had caught him in such an intimate position with Afrah. Although it wasn't a clandestine affair or a secretive rendezvous, he felt a tad bad that she had to see that, especially given the fact that he slept in her room the previous night and the first thing he did in the morning was go to Afrah's room. When he woke up, he did not see her and did not bother to look for her. In that moment, he felt he had been unfair and should have done the needful.

Jameel's guilt stemmed not from an act of betrayal or deception—Afrah was his wife—but rather from the hurt he knew Najah must be experiencing. Despite knowing that she was the type to hide her emotions, he could feel her eyes boring holes in his face the whole time. The flicker of disappointment he saw in her eyes before averting his gaze haunted him a little.

Desperately searching for solace in the fact that he hadn't intended any harm as he didn't even know she would barge into the room, Jameel replayed the moment over and over in his mind, but guilt gnawed at him relentlessly; questioning his decision of running to Afrah's room first thing in the morning, and not considering how Najah would feel about that.

In that quiet moment of reflection, a maelstrom of emotions churned within Jameel. He wished he could turn back the hands of the clocks and avoid Najah walking in on them at that moment. But deep down, he understood that life is often messy, filled with unexpected turns, and sometimes, things are bound not to go his way. He also understood that he was only human. There was only little he could do to avoid such circumstances. For now, all he could do was acknowledge his guilt, learn from his mistakes, and strive to make amends in whatever way he could.

"Should you...?"

Najah's voice broke him out of his trance.

"That was awkward," Najah added, puffing out her cheeks.

Jameel shrugged, acting like it was nothing. "Not really. What exactly was awkward?"

Afrah rolled her eyes. "I didn't know what was going on in your mind, but I could tell, just by looking at your face, that you wanted the bed to open and swallow you in its belly."

Jameel chuckled. Afrah was not wrong but he wouldn't give her the satisfaction of finding out that it was indeed an awkward situation for him. "There was nothing awkward about that. She should have knocked before coming in."

"You left the door open." Afrah reminded.

"Still doesn't matter...or she should have left and come back another time. It's that simple. It's not as if—" he cut himself off and heaved a sigh. "I'm sure she understands."

Afrah shrugged.

"Let me ask you a question..."

"Go ahead."

"If you were in her shoes, how would you feel?"

"What?"

"I just want to know."

"How would I feel?"

"How would you feel?"

"I prefer not to say...I don't even want to think about it. I have seen and felt worse."

"Hmm."

"So don't ask me."

•

About two hours later, Jameel found himself standing in front of Najah's room.

He placed his hand on the doorknob and turned it. The door opened, revealing Najah who was sitting on the edge of her bed; her hands tightly clasped together.