Be Kind (Doctor Reader x Levi Ackerman)

Chapter 19: Dilemma

When you return to the mess hall alone to grab a late night meal, you catch Levi already standing in the kitchen, arms crossed and eyes cold as always.

"Where have you been all night?" Levi cocked a brow.

You made up a split-second excuse on the spot. "Supply run. Our ward was running out of IV drips so I went to get some."

You sat down on a table and ate a bowl of already-cold mashed potatoes, all while hoping Levi doesn't question you further. To your relief, he doesn't and simply sits down in front of you. You feel his piercing gaze drilling down on you and it makes it really difficult for you to make eye contact, especially after everything Luca just told you earlier. You feel your conscience creeping up on you.

Levi seems to notice your unease, and he places a hand on your head to pat you. Your eyes widened and you looked at him.

"What's up with you? Is it because of this afternoon?" Levi tilts his head.

"No!" you exclaimed.

"Did I go too far?"

"No, no! You were fine, I—It's not about that."

Levi doesn't seem convinced, although he can't seem to figure you out.

"I'm just tired, I think I'm gonna go to sleep," you said, and as you stood up to leave, Levi grabbed your wrist. Suddenly, he pulls you close to him and you bump into his chest. In an instant, he wraps his arms around you and hugs you. You let out a small squeak, surprised by his sudden and rare display of affection. Eventually, you returned the hug and melted in his warmth and comforting presence. It's exactly what you needed after a physically and emotionally draining day.

For a moment, you wonder if you should just tell Levi everything. You wanted to cry and tell him how you're hurting because of your father's illness and how conflicted you are. He would understand, right? He would let you take those documents right? Then you wouldn't have to feel so guilty about keeping this from him.

But what if Levi doesn't trust you enough with those documents and decides to hide them? Then you're really done for.

God, after all you said to him about being kind and telling him that he can confide in you, you find yourself about to do something the exact opposite. Here you are, unable to confide in him about your own problems. A hypocrite.

You shook your head. No. Professor Emeritus is almost like family, someone you've known almost your entire life. Meanwhile, Levi is just a man you've only met for a few months, right?

How can you turn your back to Prof Em, someone who has shown you so much kindness in the past, just for the sake of not upsetting a man you've only known for a while? And how can you turn your back to your dying father?

"I don't know what's going on with you, but I hope you're alright," he mutters. Immediately, you feel a clench in your chest. You appreciate that he doesn't pry or try to make you tell him what's going on, yet it also anguishes you, because he is just too kind and understanding.

"I'll be alright, just overwhelmed from seeing all those soldiers today," you smiled faintly as you hugged him.

Levi walked you back to your room and after he left, you flopped on your bed with a hard sigh. You buried your face into the pillow and let out a muffled scream of frustration.

–

The next day, you realised that sneaking in to steal the documents wasn't going to be as easy as you thought. You were suddenly assigned to Levi's newly-formed squad, Squad Levi, with the 104th cadet corps members, to safeguard Eren and Historia in a secluded cabin. Erwin had woken up much sooner than you expected, and this was both a blessing yet a curse for you. You're happy that your surgery managed to save him, yet this also means you won't be able to sneak around as you please.