Mend What's Broken

You're Not Alone

Margo's POV

I slept for maybe about 45 minutes before I jolted myself awake, flailing my panicked arms until I made out where was.

The guest room.. Dr Ol- Lizzie..

I quickly turned to the side, the space next to the bed empty. I was alone. But at least the lights stayed on.

However, even with the lights on and the bed being fairly comfortable to lay in, I still felt anxious, like my body was waiting for all of that to change, not allowing me to rest my eyes. I missed Lizzie's presence. I had never experienced such peace and safety in my entire life, and I was becoming desperate to hold onto it.

That's what was hard about knowing the joys in life, you get happy and before you know it, it's all ripped away from you.

I pulled my knees up to my chest, wrapping my arms around myself and scratching at my bare upper arms. It was becoming a habit of mine: the scratching.

I felt disgusting in my own body, a body that had been used and broken too many times that there was no way for the scars to ever heal. So I scratched and scratched, fighting to cleanse myself of the many hands that had left marks against my skin, but my own blood wasn't even enough to wash it all away.

I began to feel desperate to run again, to find the woman who seemed to be the only person to give me that feeling of comfort, but I was too afraid to leave the bed.

What if I got in trouble for getting out of bed?

My mind drifted back to the times I had tried to make a run for it, the times I dared to step out of the closet on my own, but I could never forget the consequences for such a task. He'd beat me unconscious, making it so that I would be physically incapable of taking another step on my own. I didn't ever want to feel that sort of pain again, especially not from the one person that had yet to ever hurt me.

The sound of my door creaking open caused me to flinch hard, burying my head in my hands in preparation for punishment, as if my abuser could hear my thoughts.

"Margo?"

I slowly lifted my head from my hands at the sound of a soft voice, and I barely peeled my eyes open to find Lizzie standing at the doorway with a worried look on her face.

Look what you've done. You woke her up.

"S-sorry," I croaked, wrapping my arms around myself, and her eyes softened.

"No, no don't be sorry, sweetheart. I was just coming in to check on you. You okay?" She walked over and took a seat on the corner of the bed in front of me, and I gripped onto my arms tighter as her eyes fell on the red scratch marks. "Hunny-"

"-I'm sorry I-I'm sorry, I just couldn't sleep and I-.. I freaked out and I didn't mean to wake you or b-bother you."

"Shhhh, it's okay, sweetheart.. just breathe.."

I took in a shaky breath while she scooted closer to me on the bed, and I tightened my grip.

"It's okay.. Let me see." She carefully pulled my arms off of myself, her thumbs gently trailing over the long, but shallow scratch marks down my upper arms and my sides, causing me to wince. "Okay, let me get you cleaned up, and then we can talk about it.."

She helped me out of bed and onto the bathroom counter, pulling out the first aid supplies from the cabinet, and I held onto myself uncomfortably, knowing I was not ready to talk about anything.

"You can come to me if you're ever feeling anxious or need someone to talk to, you know?" She suggested softly, grazing a cool cloth against the dried blood on my stomach and I jumped. "Sorry, sweetie.."

"I d-didn't want to get in trouble."

"Hey.." she whispered.

Her hands paused as she looked up to my eyes, and I quickly dropped mine in shame before they were lifted once again by two fingers on my chin. "You can always come to me, hunny, it doesn't matter what time or where, you'll never get in trouble for coming to me. Ever."

She continued washing away the blood and I stayed silent, feeling her eyes on me every few seconds but I never acknowledged them. I felt ashamed of all of this, feeling as though I was a burden to her, keeping her at late hours for my stupid panic attacks.

"Margo.." she cooed softly, tilting her head to the side when my eyes met hers. "You don't have to be so hard on yourself.. It's okay to be scared, but I'm here for you.. You're not alone in this."

"I don't want to bother you."

"You're never bothering me, sweetie," she gently pulled my hands into hers, giving them a gentle squeeze. "Believe it or not, I enjoy spending time with you. So you'll never be bothering me, only making me happy," she giggled, earning a smile from my lips that only caused hers to widen.

It felt good to finally smile.. It wasn't often that I had the opportunity to feel that sort of happiness, and the only time I really felt it was around her, so it was nice to hear that I was allowed to be around her even more.

But the part that really blew my mind was that she wanted me around.. Nobody ever wanted to have me around, they just had to, and it was always made very clear how terrible it was to have me as a burden. 

How is it different for her?

She helped me down from the bathroom counter, leading me back to the guest room but I paused in the doorway, and before I knew it, I was wrapping my arms around her.

What am I doing?

"You okay, sweetie?" She whispered, gently rubbing my back and I shook my head again. "I can't sleep.. I don't want to.. I.."

"Shhh, it's alright hunny. Why don't you come and stay with me for tonight, yeah?"

"But the lights.." I didn't want to bother her, my needs were too much sometimes, but she surprised me as she pulled away slightly to meet my eyes.

"That's okay, I won't shut them off. C'mon sweetie.."

She guided me to her room, helping me into the bed and pulling the covers over me before climbing in the other side. I laid on my back at the far edge, awkwardly fidgeting with my hands, while she laid on her side, beside me.

"You comfortable?" She asked after a minute, her tone sounding worried, and I very quickly glanced in her direction before shifting my eyes back to the ceiling. "Yeah," I whispered back, and I watched her hand slowly stretcher towards me out of the corner of my eye. I glanced at it, finding her palm facing upward and welcoming my hand that I hesitantly placed into hers, allowing her thumb to carefully stroke over top.

"You're safe, baby.. I promise."

I let out a low sigh, her soft touch grazing the top of my hand soothing my heart that bested rapidly until I felt safe enough to close my eyes, my trust deepening in the woman beside me as I slowly drifted back to sleep.

—————-
Any scene requests? 🙃

Also, side note: I start a new job tomorrow, so my updates might be a little inconsistent for maybe a week, but I swear I'll keep updating every chance I get.

Thanks for reading so far!!

-Z