'When you are not fed love on a silver spoon, you learn to lick it off of knives.'
-Lauren Eden
"Hey lady, missed me?" The knife in my life, one which bled me dry to death once.
"Who is this?" I said, trying to act cool.
"Ouch! Has it really been that long?" Yes, you asshole! It's been five
years.
"WHO. ARE. YOU?"
"I always knew you are very good at acting, and you know that the only person it won't work on is me. So cut the crap." He tried to be seductive that it made me wanna gag.
"Hmm. That's more likely sounds like a narcissist asshole Jake Kellen I knew once." I guess he is the one selling audacity in the markets.
"You JUST knew me? That shit hurt my feelings." Blood rushes in my whole body when my mind goes through flashbacks of old memories. This jerk needs a lesson that I'm no longer that weak little girl.
"You mean the time when I blindly believed that I knew everything about you, but it turned out that I was JUST living in the bubble of manipulation and gaslighting you created. I am past that shit long ago, Mr Kellen. And let me give you a reality check. I saw through you, burst that bubble and lived five years ahead, HAPPILY." I can fucking smell the burning of a narcissist's heart.
"I'm getting married."
What a comeback. You think that can hurt me. As I said, I'm past that shit. Try something that I actually give a fuck, next time. "Well, congratulations, Mr Kellen. I guess you finally got the 'perfect high-standard model'. But I feel bad for whoever poor girl she is, though. She really lowered her standards to hell."
"Well, she at least has it in the hell. Not like someone who had nothing at all."
It's been five years and the same old taunt. Get a life, asshole. "The 'someone' who lowered their fucking standards just because she loved you and kept justified the scars, the insults, the humiliation you gave her, right? I corrected him. "Don't you dare to contact me again, or I'll show you how much the 'someone' has changed. And go to hell." I cut the call.
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"I think I fell in love with you, Annlin. You are it for me. You make me feel so happy and special."
...
"I don't want a relationship with you because I don't want to be committed to anybody right now."
...
"I'm sorry that I hurt you. Can we be friends again?"
...
"I do love you. We can work things out. Maybe in the future, but not now."
...
"Haha! You really thought I would date someone like you. You see these girl friends of mine. These are girls I wanna date. Not a low-standard girl who looks like a joker to me."
...
"I do need a girlfriend. The thing is, I just don't need you because the truth is, I never really loved a pathetic girl like you."
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Memories flashed one after the other in front of me. My heart thumped loudly in my ears. I clung to the nearest support, fingers digging into the hard surface, seeking an anchor in the storm. The mocking faces, taunt comments, suppressed tears, stifled screams, the lonely nights, the dark room, every fucking memory flashed. Stop, Annie, breathe. You are stronger than this. You are not going to give that jerk any more power to break you than you already gave once. I clutched at my chest as if trying to keep my racing heart from leaping out of my body. I pressed my trembling hands against my temples, trying to still the frantic thoughts that raced through my mind, each one a taunting reminder of the pathetic girl I used to be once. I touched my face. Tears. I kept swiping it but didn't stop. I dug my nails into my skin, trying to divert the mental pain to feel it physically. Chest tightened; visions blurred; No, no, please. Not again.
AUTHOR'S POV
The demons are back, the ones that drowned and suffocated her in her lonely and sleepless nights. But this time, the demons had no clue that there was someone who had a stronger hold on her than they had in her entire life, someone who would not let any demon take her away this time.
A strong and muscular hand touched her shoulder. "Hey..." The hands pulled her up from the floor, where she found the support and searched for the anchor in the terrifying storm. Physical hands wrapped around her. One hand held her in the place, and one shook her face.
"Look at me." The deep, commanding voice pierced through her darkness. She did recognise that voice. At that moment, she trusted that voice more than she trusted herself. She bound her soul to it and felt that it was dragging her out of the darkness as it was making her the way away from the demons. "Hey, LOOK AT ME."
"Breathe." And she did. She breathed along with every command. The blackness starts fading away. She saw blue. "You are not alone. I'm right here with you. Breathe." And she swallowed the solace in the words and started breathing.
The husky and ocean.
Thud. Thud. Thud.
Her heart still pounded so hard that the others could sense it. Suddenly, she felt something hard struck and pressed against her chest. She gulped the comfort she found in this stronghold. She sensed strong beats against her throbbing heart and tried to copy the rhythm of the waves of that ocean.
"Breathe, sweetheart." She was breathing. The blackness recedes, making her feel the strong, warm embrace she is in. Her senses became aware of the surroundings she was in, slowly. She started to pick herself up like she always does after a fall. And her eyes found its way towards the husky and ocean on its own.
Her anchor. Her demon slayer.
She was in the arms of Roshan Charles Davidson. The person who would have left the place earlier but still came searching for her. To be the person to provide the light in the dark tunnels of her mind. To be the first person to see her in her most vulnerable situation and to be the knight in her shining armour. For the first time in her life, she felt how it is to be in someone's arms. Her eyes teared up. But it wasn't a tear which she used to shed in her pain. It was different. It was... happy tears this time. They were standing in each other's arms, not willing to let go of the other in that hallway where sunset painted the area crimson.
Without breaking the hug, he made her sit on the couch a few feet away from them. He kept caressing her hair. He didn't say anything, nor did she want him to say something. It was the first time in her life that she let somebody see this side of her, which she hid from the world. She slowly moved her head and looked at him again. "Thank You." She whispered, looking directly into his eyes.
"Water?" He asked her, and a silent question lingered at the end. "Do you need more time?"
Somehow, her heart heard the question. So she nodded to both questions. So, Roshan took the bottle from the side table, opened it and forwarded it towards her. He held her again after she finished drinking. They sat there in the comfortable silence for some time, and she watched the sunset through the glass wall in his arms.
"I love sunsets." Her thoughts left her mouth without her permission.
"I love sunsets, too." He said and gained a little smile from her. Her phone rang again for the nth time from the floor. She looked at him with an 'I don't wanna take it' look, to which he gave her a 'then let it ring' nod.
"Why didn't you leave." She asked him.
"I didn't see you coming out. So I came checking for you." He tensed, and she looked at him in surprise. She had more questions to ask him. But she chose not to. Some other time.
"I wanna leave." She wanted to leave this place as fast as she could, but not him, not the person she claimed to hate so much. But as she came back to her senses slowly, the invisible walls she created to protect herself around her throughout her life started to appear again. She won't let anybody inside those strong walls, especially not him again.
"I will drive you home."
VOUS LISEZ
TWO HALVES OF A WHOLE
Roman d'amour𝐁𝐋𝐔𝐑𝐁✍︎︎ He could get anything he wanted except her. She had everything she needed except for him. He hated her because she hated him. She hated him because she wanted him. "In chess, the king is the most important piece while the queen is the...
