Goodbye

Page 29

I really did not want to go. My bag was packed. Everything was ready, besides my heart. I had lost Emilia once already and I did not want to lose her again. Besides, it was nice to know that I had finally found some friends. Nothing against Lucy-Ann and perhaps James. Lucy-Ann was nice enough to message me every day. James only messaged me once to remind me that I was dating Mint. Guess that did not go as planned.

The next thing that did not go as planned was a little what of a confession Emilia made. She did not have my number. At first I did not actually care much about it until I realised that it was wrong. I looked at her phone and realised that it was new. Emilia apologised for not messaging me, since she had a new number.

"So that's how it is. I'm so glad to hear that. I was actually sure that you were ghosting me after our little fight."

"Fight?" Emilia asked confused. I reminded her of our fight about Lucy-Ann and Mint. Eventually I even showed her the messages on my own phone. I noticed how she was even more surprised now. She took off her glasses and cleaned her lenses, before she took another look at the messages. After a while she admitted that she had no such recollections of ever writing those messages. I looked at her in disbelief before she told me what happened.

Apparently, on the night that we were allegedly fighting, Emilia had been at Lisa's place to sleep over. When she came back from the shower, Lisa apologised for breaking her phone and promised to buy her a new one. Lisa told her that she accidentally let it fall to the ground, when she tried to move the table.

For a second everything was silent. If Emilia really did not write those messages, then who did? The only other possibility could have been that I was writing with Lisa. Why? Why would she have done something like this? It took me a few moments to realise something. I looked Emilia in the eyes and could not believe what I was trying to do.

"Emilia, this letter Bill read out on your birthday, it was supposed to be for me. Do you have any idea how it could have ended up in Lisa's bag?"

"Lisa."

"How can you be so sure?"

"Seat. Next... to... Esra."

"Why would she do that?"

Nothing. Absolute silence. Only the ticking of the clock.

"Weird. She always... talked... to Bill and... she told Viola to... go... to the toilet. You and Salem... school."

I did not expect to be that early at the station. After all, I wanted to spend as much time as possible with Emilia. However, after our conversation I realised that there was something that I needed to do. The station was bustling. Busy people everywhere. A crowd of soulless creatures and in the middle of it was Lisa. I never noticed how her tanned skin actually put stress on her black eyes that were filled with despair.

I approached Lisa as if it was the most normal thing in the world. I approached her as if I was not ready to break every last bone in her body. I approached her as if my whole world had not collapsed.

There she was. She smiled eagerly. Perhaps she already knew what she was supposed to expect. Perhaps she did not feel the least bit of remorse and regret for what she had done. Perhaps there was more to her than I was already aware of.

"Why did you do it?" I did not try to talk around it. I did not try to gain any sympathy from her. All I wanted was the unspoken truth. If what Emilia said was really true, that meant that Lisa had purposefully destroyed my life.

I hoped that she was going to tell me that all of this was nothing more than a bad joked. There was no way I could have believed that someone like Lisa could do something like this. For once my heart could not calm down and my blood was boiling, as I could do nothing besides waiting for an answer that I probably did not even want to hear but Lisa did not care. She smiled in such a mischievous way and the moment she opened her mouth, I felt more than just simply betrayed.

"Well that took you long enough. I bet Emilia was the one that to put it all together with her detective brain. Still, I didn't think she would trust you after what Bill did. I mean, she surely must have remembered what happened between the two of you on that night."

All I could ask myself was why. Why did she do all of this? What had I done to her? On the other hand I had to accept that every tile of this puzzle was starting to fit together perfectly. Lisa was always the one that started everything. Every fight, every argument, everything was started by her, even though she never took part in any of this. 

"I don't get it. This doesn't make any sense at all. Why all of this? You destroyed my life and how did you even know about everything?"

Lisa did not say anything. She just smiled like the devil. Something about her gave me the shivers. I felt like my vision got blurry and suddenly Lisa started to remind me of the kind of static you could see sometimes on old televisions. It was just as if she was shifting out of reality before suddenly everything turned back to normal. Nobody around us reacted to what just happened? Did I simply imagine it? It felt so real.

"I'm doing this for you. I just wanted this story to have a happy ending but guess I failed. I didn't expect Emilia to still trust you after everything that happened. Whatever, guess it's her turn now. Here." Suddenly Lisa held up a piece of purple paper that she had carefully folded into a cat. The cat looked just like the one I saw in Esra's room. However, somehow this one was made differently. Every part of it was absolutely and undeniably perfect. Not a single scrap. Was this level of perfection even possible?

I took the paper cat from Lisa. As I looked at it, I noticed how the painted eyes reminded me of initials, as if Lisa had purposefully written the letter 'H' twice, instead of drawing realistic and cute eyes.

"Give that to her, when you meet her. She'll now that it's from me. And now we need a big, bright smile on your face. The others are here just for you. We wouldn't want them to get worried, don't we?"

Lisa was right. All of the others had come to tell me goodbye. It was not like the last time. I was not running away. I was not hiding away from them. I embraced the past and opened my eyes for the future. I talked to them the way you would talk to a good friend. We hugged. Salem told me to call at least once in a while. Esra told me that I should finally man up and even gave me a punch in the shoulder. Viola thanked me for everything and even went out of her way to ask me if I were fine about her calling the police on Bill, since we were kind of still siblings. I knew that it was for the best.

The hardest part for me was to part ways with Emilia. I hugged her tightly for a few seconds before it was time for me to leave. Her small body fit perfectly into my arms. It was so natural to hold her. I did not want to let go yet. I promised her to call her every day. I promised that we would soon get to see each other again.

The train ride was different this time. It felt more comfortable and real. When I looked out the window, I saw their faces. Happy, genuine tears. A misunderstanding had built a barrier between us. This barrier was gone now. Even though Lisa's words echoed through my mind, I could not bring myself to let her destroy even this simple, yet emotional moment. The train was cramped and loud but I could not hear or see anything. All I could think about was the sun that was greeting us with its smile.

// Season 2 end \\