Goodbye

Page 5

I'm not crazy. Let me dream a little more. A tiny bit more. I'm just a bit lonely without you. You never care to give me a visit. Do you know how this makes me feel? I want to see you. I want to hear your voice. I want to hold you. I will wait. No matter how long, I will wait.

Do you hate me? Honestly, I hate myself too. Do you hate yourself? Of course you do but do you hate yourself enough to do it again? It wasn't your fault. You don't believe me or am I wrong? I know how much it hurts. I know how it feels, when all you want to do is disappear into thin air. You bathe with roses and they cut your skin. No matter what you try, the more you move, the more they hurt you. The best thing you can do is hiding away. Isolating yourself from the outside. Keeping all to yourself.

I wanted to get you out of there. I wanted to be your prince in shining armor. I'm sorry for always getting on your nerves. 

I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you.

Can you hear my heart beating? I'm not lying. I will never lie to you. I will never be like him. I will show you that the world is still beautiful and whenever you feel lost, you can just call my name. I will be with you, holding your hand tightly and once you have enough of me, you can just let go but until then, I will follow you to the end of the world because you are all that matters to me. You will be able to smile like you used to. I will support you all the way.

Do you hate me? I could never hate you. You did something for me only you were capable of. One day you will understand. You will look in the mirror and love yourself for who you are. I know that you can. I've watched you all this time. I've seen your good and your bad sides. You are the most beautiful person I've ever gotten to know. Will you believe me, even if you don't want to? Will you get up, even if the roses hurt you? Will you love me, even if it doesn't mean much to you? I will love you. I will care and understand you. I will stay by your side. You mean so much to me.

...

Mint really surprised me the other day at work. I was a little tired. She offered to get me some coffee. All of our coworkers started laughing. One of the guys shouted cheerfully that we should get a room. Mint hit him on the head with a folder. She had been doing that quite a lot lately. Poor guy. Why did he always have to get on her nerves?

The coffee was really good. I felt like Mint had put all her heart into this coffee. I wanted another cup but I did not say it out loud, even though she would have surely gotten me a second one, if I had asked. Anyways, I enjoyed my cup of love and happiness until the very last bitter drop, while Mint was going on a rampage, since nobody was working productively, besides that one person in the corner. A young woman. Perhaps a year older than me. Black hair. White skin. Two braids. Dark eyes. Big glasses. A mole underneath the left side of her lips. She stared at me. She watched me. Uncomfortable. Do not stare back. That is impolite. Pretend. I cannot see her. I am doing fine. Concentrate. Work. Why is she getting up? Why is she walking towards me? It is alright. Do not worry. Why is she so close now? I see. She just wanted to go to the toilet. My desk is right next to the bathroom. It always smells funny, when I work. I got worried over nothing.

After work Mint and I walked to the station together. She told me how much she was struggling with work. She needed to finish the project until the end of the week but the others were just fooling around, instead of putting in the work. I felt bad for Mint. All I could do was laugh awkwardly and tell her that everything was going to be fine. She sighed and thanked me. I had not really done anything she could thank me for.

Mint was always working hard. She really gave it her all. She was the kind of employee every company was searching for. Twenty years old. Thirty years of work experience. Became a doctor, when she was still a fetus. What was going on in that mind of hers? What was she thinking about? How did she operate?

"That reminds me. I looked up some stuff about astronomy. You were right. It's really interesting. I got especially invested in those wormholes and nebulae." I had not expected her to actually do some research. I was surprised. Positively surprised. People usually got bored, once I started blabbering on about astronomy. Mint was different.

"By the way, why are you working in our company? Should you not go to college and study astronomy, if you're that interested in it?" Rather embarrassed I had to admit that I was not really good at school. I barely even passed most of my classes. Someone like me could not study astronomy, no matter how much I loved it. The company took me in despite that. I was grateful. I really was.

Mint told me that she was sorry. She told me to look at it from a positive perspective. She and I would not have met, if I got into college. She was right. Fate was quite interesting sometimes. It plays around with ones feelings as if they are nothing more than thin paper. It takes and takes and sometimes it gives.