Meant To (Book 2 Of Series)

| But Baby |

Carter

It's nothing like getting a hair care routine from your mom, it brings me back to my childhood. She massaged my scalp over the kitchen sink, with the shampoo. I closed my eyes and gave way to this precious moment. She rinsed it out and added more for a second wash, lathering my silky curls, removing any excess dirt. She dried it a little and added the conditioner, sectioning it, so it would be easier to come through. Soft music played in the background and the smell of her gumbo invaded my nostrils.

She didn't always vocally apologize, she'd instead make a favorite meal and cater to me all day. My mom was a great mom, she just wanted her children to get along, but she held on to the old way families did things. They swept painfully, traumatic experiences under the rug. Our generation was about confronting those experiences and healing from them. This may require cutting off those you love.

She manually blow dried my hair and then, oiled my scalp, before twisting it. I rested my head on her knee and relaxed. "I needed this." Still emotionally defeated from opening up to Trouble. I cried and he made love to me and I cried and again he made love to me, and held me and promised he'd be here.

"I know child, your mother is having a hard time sharing you with him..." I looked up at her and she cupped my face. "Good has answered my prayers though...I wanted you to be loved by someone just like him."

"I had to tell him...for some reason I don't like withholding secrets from him. I want this relationship built on a strong, trusting foundation."

"I completely understand. He is special in the most amazing way." She was now running her fingers along my parts. "Honey, I hate to say this...but do you ever believe you and Idris will be able to..."

"Mom, you were doing so well..please." My head was pounding just thinking about it. "And why are you always badgering me about it? You ever bring it up to him?."

"He's not even speaking to me because I bring it up so often."

"Typical Idris behavior,"

**************************

Trouble

We arrived to the Tampa Bay Stadium at about 5:30 and it was about eight of us. Kurt and Tanisha came also. I was able to go off to the side with Tanisha when everyone was on the field.

"My dad found him and brace yourself, he lives here in America and is doing pretty decent for himself and his pregnant wife." Tanisha hands him a folder with everything there was to know about Lewis Callow. "Now, I'm all for you doing something, but you can't like...kill him."

"I'm not going to catch a body but I have something in mind, thank you for this."

"Anything for Carter, he's like my brother."Tanisha and Trouble hugged.

They caught back up to everyone and Carter was taking pictures on the field with his family. Kurt even had a few of his teammates come out and meet everyone. Afterwards they all went out to eat and then bowling. I could get used to this. Of course love is hard sometimes but it should be easy as well. Carter was a breath of fresh air, and he was always looking for Trouble, reaching for him, smiling at him from across the room. He would randomly rub my back and kiss his forehead, he was very affectionate.

Later that night when we were laying in the bed I spent some time just watching him. Then I sat up. "Carter, can I um talk to you?"

Carter looked up from the tv and met his eyes. "Okay," Carter muted the tv and sat up also.

I took his hand and cleared my throat. "I wanted to be honest with you about something."

Carter

My palms were sweaty, he was going to end things with me. Things were going too good, I was too much baggage. Why would I think that he would keep me around? I got too wrapped up in this....

"Carter, that night after Zhi's mom's anniversary gathering and we came back to the hotel...and after you went to bed." He gripped my hands tighter and lowered his eyes. "Ace came to see me,"

I pulled my hands away. "Oh," A million things were running through my mind but I just needed to know one answer. "Did you sleep with him?"

He quickly shook his head. "No, I promise I didn't."

"You wanted to?" He gave me a look like please don't make me answer that. I nodded in understanding. "What was the purpose of this link up?"

"Closure, just closure."

"and did you get it?"

He nodded. "Yes,"

"and are you done with needing any other closure from him?"

"I am done,"

"Because I'm right here, and anytime you need to talk or anything, baby please, just come to me. There's not enough room for me and him for this to work. I'm all in, you have peeled back every layer to me and have nothing else to keep for myself, I'm all in because I believe in this. But that means nothing if you don't equally believe."

Trouble pulled me into his arms. "I'm all in. I haven't spoken to him since and I don't plan on it. I wanted to be transparent with you because you were with. This relationship has the potential to be healthy and long lasting, if I make better choices. I apologize for doing that behind your back."

"You told me and that is a start into the right direction." They kissed. "I mean Ace is handsome, I don't get the hype besides his looks, I don't know what it is he did to you. But baby he doesn't have the power anymore, unless you give it to him. Instead let's put that energy into us."

He smiled. "We can do that."

Trouble will do right, maybe?

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