Five Minutes In Summer

14. Talk About Loss

"After Phi Forth could remember again, he told who was behind the kidnapping. Apparently it was Wayo's father's personal assistant. He embezzled funds because he forgot himself, because Wayo's father trusted him too much. However, an even more unfortunate thing happened, when he was about to be arrested. He took the twins as hostage and took them away as collateral. Two days later the police found his car burning in a ravine. He and the twins were burned to death. They were trapped in the car." 

Ming really cried this time. Kit hugged him and cried too. 

"Forth, who had not yet fully recovered, when he heard about the incident, experienced shock and became depressed. He blamed himself for telling who the perpetrator of his kidnapping was. He thought that if he had not revealed the identity of the kidnapper, the twins would not have died so horribly like that. Forth had to undergo  mental treatment for six months after that," Park said quietly. 

"After he returned from the mental treatment center, Forth never let Wayo out of his sight. He felt guilty for the death of the twins and he was afraid he would lose Wayo too. He became even more possessive of us. Meanwhile, Wayo, felt guilty because he saw how Forth  going through all the tough times for the twins," said Ming while wiping his tears.

"Since then, Forth has always avoided hills, mountains or forests and he insisted that only beaches would be our tourist destination after the tragic loss of the twins," said Park.  "And Forth started establishing an animal shelter because he often said that the two cats he was carrying when he was found were his friends who kept him alive," said Park.

"Phi Forth often feels like his life has been in vain, because previously he underwent torture from kidnappers to save the twins, but then he still lost them because of his own actions. He keeps blaming himself like that," said Ming. His voice caught in his throat.

The atmosphere became silent. Ming and Kit cried silently while hugging each other. Beam's eyes felt hot and he bit hard on the inside of his cheek, holding back the tears that were about to spill.  Oh, God, what had he done?

***

Beam PoV

The night before. 

"Fi ... ancé?" Forth asked. 

I nodded with a smile and continued eating as if nothing had happened. I could feel the guy next to me staring at me, but I pretended not to care. 

After finishing dinner, I decided to go back to the hotel first. This afternoon Elena sent a message that she would call to talk about her plans to come to Malibu and meet me. 

She said she was worried that her parents would investigate her whereabouts. 

"Beam!" 

I almost jumped when I heard someone calling me when I almost got to the hotel. I turned and saw Forth walking towards me. 

Fuck! He was very handsome in his black sleeveless t-shirt and cream colored shorts. His thick hair looked messy. 

"Phi Forth?" I asked confused. "Why are you here?" 

Forth stood in front of me. His face looked serious. "I need to tell you something," he said softly. 

He took my hand and held it tightly. I tried to brush him off but he was too strong. 

"What? Hurry up, Phi, my fiancé will call in a moment," I said in a flat tone.  I don't want him to hear my crazy heartbeat. 

"I am falling in love with you." 

I was astonished. Only for a moment, then I laughed amusedly. "You're in love with me? Are you serious?" 

He nodded firmly. "Yes. I'm serious. I'm in love with you." 

"You're funny, Phi. Just because we made love then you fell in love with me? That's ridiculous!" 

"Beam, I'm serious. I fell in love with you before we even made love. I fell in love with you after five minutes of staring at you in that cafe, when we first met." 

"That's even more absurd. Even people who have been together for years can't fall in love, let alone just five minutes." 

"It didn't take me long to fall in love with you, Beam." 

I wrenched my hand from his grip.  "Don't be ridiculous! I have a fiancé. If you ask me why I made love to you, it's just because I'm a person who likes to try new things and I think, there's nothing wrong with me trying to make love with a man before actually committing to my fiancé. That's not bad, but it's also not something I want to repeat again. So, stop bothering me, Phi!" 

Forth's eyes looked hurt. "I've experienced a lot of loss Beam and don't want to experience it again. I'll wait until you can open your day because--"

"There's no need to talk about loss," I snapped coldly. "You don't know anything about that! People with family backgrounds and abundant wealth like you, what can you lose? Don't dramatize your feelings just to bind someone. No feelings are eternal. Even those who have walked together can hate each other, especially those who only  watched for five minutes? Bullshit! Losing isn't something to show off, unless you've never experienced it and are just trying to get sympathy from someone." 

I turned and left in front of Forth and didn't look back at him.

Oh God! What have I've done to him?

***