• Ch 15 Breaking the Ice •

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The following few weeks were rather uneventful. They were spent researching in what remained of the library and attending lessons. Severus and I grew rather distant, for a reason unknown to me. Sometimes, that's just the way Severus was. However, I became a bit closer with my student friends, such as Avery, Gwynn and Noah. But things just weren't the same as they had been. One day I decided to step up and attempt to mend our friendship.

Near the end of Double Potions one Friday, I added an ingredient to my potion that would cause it to explode. The explosion was small, but it left a mess in the classroom and spilled a few potions around me. Ava looked at me, wide-eyed. "I thought you knew what you were doing!" I muttered under my breath, "Just go with it, it was on purpose." She looked confused, but followed through. Severus dismissed class early, and asked to see me afterwards.

Once all the students had left, Severus looked from me, to the debris, then to me again, and said, "What in Merlin's name were you thinking?" I looked at my feet. He was not very happy. "I needed to talk to you." He raised his eyebrows, and said, "Go on," "In the past few weeks we've become on less friendlier terms. I've already apologized; what more do you ask of me?" Severus looked rather confused. "I am not still upset about you being a dunderhead." "Then why're you so distant?" He sighed. "You're still upset about Lily!" I said in sudden realization. Severus's face was plastered with a look of utmost confusion. He quickly regained his composure and said, "Is it that obvious?" I scoffed. "You gave a Gryffindor detention for breathing too noisily."

He didn't say anything, so I continued. "I know you won't want to hear this, but you have to stop being so distant. I understand that someone close to you died, and that you're going through a hard time. Now is when you'll need support more than ever." He turned away from me.

"No," he said, his voice deadly soft. "You don't understand." I crossed my arms, partly to protect myself from the cold, and partly to convey my annoyance. "Really? My mother died birthing me. I may have never known her, but my father had told me so much that I feel as if I had. Just because you never knew someone doesn't mean you won't miss them." I felt tears begin to form in my eyes at the thought of my mother. It was my fault. Her life, for my birth. I'm a murderer.

Severus turned towards me again, but his face had softened. "I- I had no idea," he spluttered. He saw my tears, and, maybe it was my imagination, but I swore I saw his own eyes start to glisten. "Of course you didn't." I said coldly, causing Severus to flinch slightly. At that, I sighed and said, "But really, just let people help you. You can't deal with this alone." On that note, I decided to leave before I was even more dramatic. "Wait." I turned around mid-way through the door. "Aren't you going to help me clean this up?"

* * *

After that day, Severus and I were once again close. The students and professors, however, thought the complete opposite.

One day when I was in the toilets, I heard a few girls gossiping. That's when I had a grand idea- I should start a rumor about Severus.

"What'll it be?" Ava asked when I told her my idea. "That's where I'm stuck. I thought you'd probably have a few good ideas." Ava thought about it for a moment. "Say he's a Death Eater?" Too bad that's true, I thought. "That'll just get him sacked." I said. Ava nodded. "Say he's a werewolf? No... that'd get him sacked, too..."

"I know!" I said suddenly. "What?" "Say he's gay- there's no harm in that. Do you approve?" Ava smiled, "Sounds lovely to me."

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