Complications // Severus Snape

• Ch 14 Dragonflies •

After the conference with Dumbledore, I did homework and them decided to research patronuses; I wanted to learn how to preform the Patronus Charm.

In the library, I ran into Avery. "Hey, Amarina. What're you doing here?" she greeted. "Hi. I was just about to do some research on patronuses." "Cool! I've always wanted to be able to cast a patronus. Mind if I join?" "Sure," I said.

We checked out a singed book that we believed to be on patronuses and took it outside by the lake. I turned to the first page. As I read it, I realized that this book was not on patronuses at all. "Hey, Avery," I said, "I don't think this book is on patronuses. "What d'you me- oh!" she said, looking at a gruesome diagram. "This must've been in the Restricted Section. I guess Madam Pince put it back on the wrong shelf," she said. "What're we gonna do?" she asked, looking at me. "Let's keep it a while..." I said.

We looked through the book, which appeared to be about Potions. Only, it was full of Dark Magic. "Look at this potion!" I said, pointing to its diagram. Avery cringed. "Is that a- is that a person?" I nodded. "The potion turned him inside-out!"

We had yet to find a book on patronuses, though, so we continued our search in the library. Avery found a book, so we checked it out and returned to our spot by the lake.

This one was actually on patronuses. "So, how do we cast it?" I asked. "It says to think of a happy thought." said Avery. Hm... what was the best day of my life? I thought of the time when my father and I went on holiday to Switzerland. "Now what?" I asked. "You have to say 'Expecto Patronum'." "Okay... do you want to go first, or should I?" "You can," said Avery.

"Expecto Patronum!" A short burst of silvery vapor shot out of my wand. I guess that memory wasn't powerful enough... "Expecto Patronum!" Nothing happened to Avery.

We practiced the charm for a few hours straight, calling forth to mind a variety of memories, which we shared after each failed attempt. The sun was setting, and the most success we had had was a spurt of silvery vapor. "Do you want to try again tomorrow?" I asked. "Yeah," said Avery, "Meet me here after lessons?" "Sure," I agreed. She retreated into the castle, but I lingered outside a moment longer.

Severus makes me happy, I thought. I pictured him laughing, his abnormally large nose crinkled up and a warmth filling his black eyes. "Expecto Patronum!" A silver dragonfly shot out of my wand, and flew around me in circles. I was so shocked, I fell to the ground. The dragonfly spiraled down, and then evaporated. I cast a patronus! A full-corporeal patronus!

Then, I remembered Severus casting his patronus earlier. "It usually takes the form of a doe." I heard his voice saying as I saw the image of his patronus, a dragonfly. We had the same patronus... did that mean something?

After lessons, I stayed after Potions to have a chat with Severus. Once all the students had left, I said, "Severus! Guess what!" "What?" he asked, mocking my enthusiasm. I crossed my arms. "You have to guess." "You're moving to Russia?" "Nope." "You burnt down the rest of the library?" "Not even close." "You're a lesbian?" "No!" "Fine, just tell me." "Yesterday I cast a full corporeal patronus!"

"What does it look like?" he asked. "Oh, it's a-" I was saying when he cut in, "Show me." "It may take a few tries..."

After only two tries, the silver dragonfly flew out of my wand. Severus looked at it, then at me, then back at it. He had a worried look on his face. Once the dragonfly had evaporated, Severus said, "Was that a... dragonfly?" I nodded. "Wicked, isn't it?" I said, "Hey, isn't your patronus a dragonfly?" "It is," he said nervously. "We've the same patronus! Does that mean we're a lot alike or something deep like that?" "No idea." he said. I decided to change the subject, as he seemed odd about the fact that we shared a patronus.

"So you're really a double-agent... how's that working out for you?" He gave me a pointed look, and I remembered that Lily had just died. "Right... I'll be on my way..." I said awkwardly.

* * *

I met up with Aura, Shay, Ava and Sage in the Great Hall for dinner after I did my homework. "Are you going to watch the Quidditch match this Saturday?" Aura asked everyone. As it turned out, everyone was. Aura was the captain of the Ravenclaw Quidditch Team; she was a Chaser. Ava was also on the team; she was the Seeker. They were both quite proficient at it.

"So," Ava said to me, as everyone was now discussing Quidditch, which I knew little about. "How're you and Professor Snape getting along?" I rolled my eyes. "Fine." I then added, "But his object of affection died on Halloween so he's a bit traumatized." "You didn't die on Halloween." I sighed, exasperated. Ava smirked. "You know he's in looove," she said, "You can see it in his eyes."

"Yeah, with Lily." "Lily's dead." "Lily's corpse, then. How often do you go looking into Severus's eyes?" "Eyes are the first thing I notice. They betray your soul." "Deep. What about my eyes?" I asked. Ava thought for a minute, seemingly deeply. But then she replied, "Loooove." "Ava, I don't like Severus like that!" "Whatever you say," she sang. "You are six feet deep in denial." But I wondered if my eyes really did betray me. Severus's eyes definitely didn't betray him.

* * *

"Do you know much about patronuses?" I asked Sage back in our dorm. I wasn't as close to Sage as I was with Ava, but she seemed to have a lot of answers.

"I know a bit. Why?" "I was wondering what it meant when two people had the same patronus." "Hm, I'm not sure. But Noah probably knows. I think he's in the library." Sage said. "Thanks, I'll check there."

I went to the library and sure enough, Noah was there, doing what seemed to be extra credit. "Noah?" He looked up. "Oh, hello, Amarina." he said. "Hi. Sage said you know a bit about Patronuses?" "Yeah, what's your question?" "What does it mean when two people have the same patronus?"

"It could mean a couple of different things. One, that they had similar traits or behaviors. Or two, that one person fancied the other. Some people claim that 'soul mates' have the same or similar patronuses, if you believe in that sort of thing. Is this for a research project?" "Of a sort. Thanks, Noah. See you tomorrow!" "See you," he said, returning to his book.

Great, I thought as I was walking back to the dorm. Either we were in love, or we were very similar. And, even though we were friends, Severus and I weren't very similar. Did Severus love me? Well, I saw his patronus before I produced mine for the first time...but his patronus changed!

"Figure it out?" Sage asked once I had returned. "Yeah, but now I have another question," I said. Sage nodded on for me to continue. "Why would someone's patronus change?" Sage thought about it for a minute, then replied, "It's usually after a life-changing event. Like a traumatic experience, or falling in love. Are patronuses your research topic of the week?" I smiled. Every week I became interested in a topic, and researched it until I knew everything about it. Sometimes they lasted longer than a week. "Something like that. Thanks," "Any time." Sage said, going back to reading her book.

So, Severus's patronus changed because a) he was traumatized by Lily's death or b) he fell in love with me. And b was seeming more and more possible to me by the minute.