| Dream and past |

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She was standing alone crying in the pitch black night with her back towards him. She looked so beautiful in the moonlight that no one could help but admire her. Her open chocolate brown hair reached her waist. She was cladded in a white simple kurta and had matching white pants and dupatta. The dupatta was also hanging carelessly on her shoulder, she had silver bangles in her hands and silver jhumkas in her ears. When she went to wipe her tears, the sweet tinkling of her bangles could be heard. She was unaware of the presence of the person standing behind her.

Seeing this beautiful girl crying like this, he was in a conflict with himself. He didn't know anything, why was she crying like this? Who is she? What is his relation to her? Why is she not showing her face? All he knows about is that he was feeling anxious after seeing her crying like that. He wanted to wipe her tears, he wanted to hide her in his embrace from the whole world. He knew that he herself was surrounded by pain and difficulties. But he wanted to take all her pain and difficulties, and give her as much joys and happiness as he could. He wanted her near him, he just wanted her. Suddenly he came out of his thoughts at the sound of her anklet and saw that she was going.

He wanted to stop her, he wanted to call out her to stop but no words could come out of his mouth as he didn't know her name also. When words came into her mouth and before he could say anything she was gone.
'Again'

He woke up with a jolt from his deep sleep, sweats dripping down his forehead and palms, he didn't know what was happening. As soon as he looked at the clock to see the time, he saw that it was the time of Tahajjud. He quickly got off the bed, went to the washroom and performed ablution.

"Tujhe kiya sunao mere rabb tere samne mera haal hai...Tu rahem-o-kareem hai, aee allah mjhe uss se mila de...aee mere malik meri duaa ko sunle, mjhe aik pal qaraar nhi ​​aata. Jab bhi ankhen band krta hu uski aik jhalak yuhn samne ajati hai jaise woh mere samne ho...Me nahi jaanta mujhe usse mohabbat hai ya nahi, bas itna jaanta hu ke me uss khwabeeda se haqeeqat me milnaa chahta hu. Me bas uske saare dard lelena chahta hu. Me khud ko bohot beqaraar pata hu jab-jab me usse yuhn rote hue tadapta dekhta hu.

Mere khuda tu hi sabka palanhar hai tu hi sabka masiiha hai. Usse mera naseeb bna de....me bas usse haqeeqat me aik baar milnaa chahta hu. Me haar chuka hu, me nahi jaanta wo kon hai?, kaha se aayi hai?, mera uss Jaan-e-hayaat se kya ta'aluq hai?, me kuch bhi nahi jaanta ae mere rabb. Me iss zindagi ki rah me bhatak chuka hu, me chahta hu ke wo mere paas, mere saath hamesha rahe. Wo har baar bas mere khwaabo me aakar mujhe aik ajeeb si kash'makash me daal kar chali jaati hai. Me kuch bhi nahi chahta bas, me usse chahta hu". As soon as he raised his hands in prayer while rising from prostration, he started crying in front of his Allah. He lost his consciousness.

"Tu rahem-o-kareem hai, mujhe bas aik baar usse mila de.... meri duaa qubool kar le, mujhpe rehem kar....mujhe maaf kar de...maaf kar de...."He couldn't control his condition, he again fell down in prostration before his Almighty, crying like crazy.
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In the morning, he woke up from sleep when a little light coming from the window fell on his eyes. And he sees that he had fallen asleep while praying, sitting on Jainamaaz.
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Coming out of the bathroom, he was wiping his wet hair with the towel in his hand.Then he heard his mobile was ringing, he went near the bed. He picked up the mobile from bed and answered the call.

"Assalamu alaikum". He greeted the person on the other end of call, in his tired voice.

"Walaikum assalam, Kya hua?" She returned the greeting and asked him worriedly. Because she understood from his voice that he was somewhat upset.

"Mujhe kya hona hai, Izra?" Rather than answering her question, he asked sarcastically while rolling his eyes.

"Matlab pakka kuch hua he, Kyu ki tum kabhi mujhe mere naam se nahi bulaate. Chalo abb batao mujhe, ke kya hua hai". She knew the reason but still she asked him.

"Mamma ki yaad aa rahi thi". He released a defeated sigh, and told her. He knew he could never win in this.

"Tum uss baat ko bhul Kyu nahi jaate, uss haadse ko saalo gulzar gaye hai. Iss tarah se to tum khud ko aziyat me daal rahe ho. Wo bas ek haadsa tha. Uss me tumhari koi galati nahi thi, iss tarah se khudko saza na do aftaab". Izra said while explaining to him. She couldn't see him in much pain. She knew that he must be going through pain at this time. But it was very important to get out of that accident.

"Nahi bhul sakta me Izra,...meri wa..wajah se ma..mamma.....". His voice started breaking while speaking. And soon the tears, he was holding back in his eyes started flowing. He couldn't control himself, he didn't have the guts.

"Aftaab, tum...". He disconnected the call before she could complete her next sentence.
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When he returned tired from the office at night, the first thing he did was go to his bedroom and throw himself on the bed.

He picked up the photo frame lying on his sidetable, and just brought the picture, looking at it with great love and tears in his eyes.

"Beta ahista chalao gari koi baat nahi flight ki kher he"

"Don't worry mamma me aap logo ko waqt pe poncha dun ga. Aap jaanti he na aapka beta best driver he"

"Hume pata he lekin tumhari mamma sahi keh rahi he Ehtiyaat se chalao gari Aftaab ".

"Okey baba".

He looked from the back mirror and saw that there was a big truck in front of him.

He turned the steering wheel hard to avoid the truck.

The balance of steering deteriorated since the beginning.

A scream was heard and that's it.

Aftaab took a deep breath and got up from his bed. He had been living with the burden of these accidents for many years.


Do he have a habit of using this?

No.

Who has the power to practice this dreadful accident?

Even today he could feel the same pain. As much as he did in that evening of accident.

The only difference was that now there was more spiritual suffering than physical suffering. And this pain probably outweighs the pain and suffering.

He had emptied the glass of water on his side table in one breathing. After changing he lay down on the bed and slept.

Every night he is like this. He came home from the office at night, sat on his bed, kept the photo, looked at it with great love and tears in his eyes.
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Assalamu alaikum.
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