Sometimes rants, sometimes wacky ass shenanigans I come up while on the shitter, expect bad jokes, dark humor, lots of swearing and an angry synth.
Also anime girls in SFM.
Also also, no, this ain't a self insert harem or some bullshit like that, I...
What a shitty day TheThotSlayer had, not only his favourite revolver got destroyed after he helped Master Chief, but not long ago his jacket got ripped thanks to Ruby accidentally slipping on a banana peel!
He walked to the bathroom to get a shower and clean his skull, his hand was about to reach the door knob, but he suddenly knocked the door. "Occupied!" Hu Tao exclaims from the bathroom, she was taking a bath.
TheThotSlayer then looks at the readers. "Ya'll seriously tought I was gonna open the door and let some akward and generic situation appear? I heard the shower, I may not have ears, but I'm not fucking deaf... Wait that doesn't make any sense.... ANYWAYS LET'S GET TO TODAY'S RANT!" Suddenly the door of the bathroom opens, revealing that Hu Tao wasn't really taking a bath, she lifts her arms up with a smile. "ORIGINALITY!" They stay with a smile for a few seconds and TheThotSlayer looks at the girl. "You know water isn't cheap right? TURN THAT SHIT OFF YOU DUMBA-"
...
...
...
Wattpad authors lack a lot of things, one of the worst ones is... Originality, specially if it involves the harem tag.
LOOK HERE YOU SON OF A BITCH, YOU ASSHOLES KNOW THERE ARE AT LEAST 500 OF THE SAME FUCKING THING, THEN WHY ARE YOU DOING THE SAME SHIT?! I DON'T GIVE A FUCK IF THE MAIN CHARACTER HAS DIFFERENT POWERS OR PLOT.
IT WILL BE THE SAME RADIOACTIVE SHIT, I'VE BEEN SEEN SO MANY ABUSED AND NEGLECTED, CHEATER AND CROSSOVER STORIES IT GOT TO THE POINT I COULD EXACTLY PREDICT HOW THE STORY WILL PROGRESS.
ABUSED AND NEGLECTED: OH NO, THESE CHARACTERS ACTING OUT OF CHARACTER ARE ABUSING THE POOR POOR LITTLE MC, OH LOOK HE SUDDENLY BECAME OVERPOWERED!
CHEATER: Do I even need to explain? People that read cheater stories are just sad cucks with weird kinks, and that's coming from a guy who likes tights.
CROSSOVER: Union Academy. That or either character from A universe are transported to B Universe from some bullshit reason.
AND THAT'S THE TIP OF THE FUCKING ICEBERG!!
Harems, if the storie contains this single tag, you can already expect the massive shitshow filled with boring cliches will be present.
Because harem writters lack 5 things, and those are Bad writing, shitty plot, clichés, bad comedy, and overuse of JOJO references and memes.
And worse if you're Toad Skywalker, seriously, fuck that guy in particular, I don't even care if he's just trolling, it's annoying trying to search a fanfic and only see his annoying ass having at least 3 stories in that universe.
...
...
...
Suddenly they hear a knock on the entrance door, TheThotSlayer opens it, revealing...
Oops! Ang larawang ito ay hindi sumusunod sa aming mga alituntunin sa nilalaman. Upang magpatuloy sa pag-publish, subukan itong alisin o mag-upload ng bago.
"But TheThotSlayer, if it ain't broken, why fix i-" TheThotSlayer suddenly presses a button in the wall, a massive anti air turret appears from the roof, aiming at the femboy.
Closing the door he looks at the readers.
...
...
...
I WOULD UNDERSTAND IF IT'S A VIDEOGAME MECHANIC OR SOMETHING!
BUT IN A FUCKING STORIE YOU'RE SUPPOSED TO BE ORIGINAL!! BUT SINCE THIS IS WATTPAD, PEOPLE SEEMS TO LIKE READING THE SAME FUCKING THING AGAIN AND AGAIN.
It's honestly sad, there are good writers out there trying to make something the readers would like, but instead those dumb sons of bitches decide to watch the generic harem that the writers makes only to please himself.
Stories are made to please both the writer and the readers dumbass.
..
...
...
"Well, at least I didn't destroy anything today." TheThotSlayer says proud of himself. "Hell, maybe I won't get destroyed toda-" Suddenly a droplet goes through his ceiling, falling on top of him breaking the skeleton like a lego. "GOD FUCKING DAMNIT Z̸̳̞̪̣̗͍̲̩͎̮͗̋͛̔̿̆̂E̴̥̱̹̅̅̓͛R̸̦̅̃̆̽̇͊̍͘O̶̧̡̻͍̣͙̬̩͕͋͐͜͝O̸̱̯̘̜͓͚̖̔͂̉̉̕͜Ő̵̡̨̻̣̫̳̞͔͍̔̈́̌͆͗̍ͅǪ̴̺̥̝̜̙͋Ò̷̰͗͠!!!!"
.
.
.
.
.
TTS out!
Oops! Ang larawang ito ay hindi sumusunod sa aming mga alituntunin sa nilalaman. Upang magpatuloy sa pag-publish, subukan itong alisin o mag-upload ng bago.
