Sometimes rants, sometimes wacky ass shenanigans I come up while on the shitter, expect bad jokes, dark humor, lots of swearing and an angry synth.
Also anime girls in SFM.
Also also, no, this ain't a self insert harem or some bullshit like that, I...
"Where the fuck I am?!" TheThotSlayer screams, he's currently in the middle of nowhere. "The last thing I remember was Seum telling me a joke about Universal travel fics and then.... Ah.." He says while pulling out his cigarrette pack, only to find it empty, with a sad sigh he get's up and looks ahead, he notices a shadow blocking his, it was quite familiar, it raises a club and TTS quickly turns around while pulling out a revolver from his pocket, in an instant he shoots three bullets, hitting his attacker in the stomach, chest and head, he looks a the now corpse on the ground, realizing something.
That a Hilichurl!
"SonofabitchI'minTeyvat!" He quickly realizes he's in another universe.
"Heya!" A female voice says, TheThotSlayer quickly realizes, he's an skeleton, in a world where people usually attack monsters at first sight. He instantly turns around and points the revolver at the person's head. "Whoa! No need to be aggressive!" He finally notices the person, it's Hu Tao.
"Why don't you attacked me? I'm an skeleton." TheThotSlayer asks, Hu Tao looks at him confused. "You don't look like an skeleton to me."
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"What?" He quickly touches his face with his left hand, feeling his old Metrocop mask from when he served and later on betrayed the combine, before he became an skeleton.
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"So, you came from another universe, from where you became an skeleton after something called a 'Strider shot you with a cannon that almost vaporized you, then you ended up traveling to another universe where mutiple fictional characters are living in a city?" Hu Tao says, trying to understand all of it.
"Pretty much, and it was 2 Strider's cannon that vaporized me!" The both of them stood in an akward silence. "So, did someone you know disappeared?" Hu Tao thinks for a moment. "Yeah, Ganyu disappeared a while ago, things lately been strange! Someone called Zero almost blew all of the moon! Anyways! What do you plan on doing now?"
"Well, I'll stick around for a bit, take a break from Fiction-City, and their never stopping giant monsters attacking it, I swear to god the last time it was attacked by a giant toilet with a head sticking out!" Hu Tao laughs by just imagining that.
And then, TheThotSlayer went around Teyvat just to fuck around, right now he and Hu Tao are watching a group of Hilichurls camping. "Tao, check this shit!" He suddenly pulls out a Warp Cannon from his pocket.
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"WHA- HOW?!" Hu Tao ask reasonably in shock. "I have deep pockets." He responds, if he didn't had his mask on you could've seen his grin. He then points the Cannon at the camp, the energy charges up, then shoots a beam that hits the Hilichurls, instanly disintegrating them. "W-What kind of weapon is that?!" Hu Tao asks.
"Combine technology." He responds and they continue walking after he put the Cannon back in his pocket.
"How will you manage to go back to your universe? I don't think anyone here can help with that." She says while slightly jumping around TheThotSlayer in a playfull matter. "I'll just use this!" He suddenly pulls out a revovler with a small touchscreen attached to it.
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"Oh! What's that?! What does it do?!" She asks, you could see stars around her with how excited she is. "Yes." He says and touches the screen a few times, he then shoots the ground next to them and a portal opens up. "Woaah~" Hu Tao looks at the portal in amazement. "Say Slayer... Can I go too?"
"Why? Don't you have a job here?"
"Yeah, but a little break won't hurt!" TheThotSlayer thinks for a minute and shrugs. "Ok, go ahead, I need a break. Forgot how being acutally alive felt like!" He says and both enter the portal.
Hu Tao looks at TheThoTSlayer and her eyes widens as he's now back being an skeleton with drip. "Holy cow! You really are an skeleton!"
"I'm back! WOOHOO!" He says and enters the living room. "Yo Seum! You won't believe what happened to m-" Suddenly an explosion goes off and TheThotSlayer head rolls towards Hu Tao's feet. "Seum, why the fuck you activated the security system?!"
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Unversal Traveling! You know, when some character ends up being transported to another universe, usually these are just boring harem bullshit were the character being transported is godlike compared to the others.
These usually have a shit ton of lemons or boring fights, along with horrible grammar and plot, the main character having absolute zero drawbacks from going to another universe.
One good way to make these fics interesting is sending someone in the same power level as some characters from that Universe.
BUT IN THE END WHO FUCKING CARES?! THE ONLY THING THEY DO IS MAKE THE CHARACTER YOUNGER IF IT'S OLDER, WITH ZERO DRAWBACKS! YOU MADE HIM YOUNGER, YOU REVERTED THEIR BODIES YEARS PAST WHAT THEY ARE NOW, HOW COME THEY HAVE THE SAME FUCKING STRENGHT AS THEIR ADULT AGE?!
If you're gonna inster a powerfull character at least give him some drawbacks, I'll take me as a half example, I'm not powerfull if we don't count the Toolgun, but I get the drawback of not being acustomed of having a living body after years of being an skeleton!
By the way, I think my SFM skills are improving, what you guys think about the scenes I made?
