His Lotus

50

Thamarai

4.30 pm

"Bye athai," Deva mama says to my mother who smiles warmly at him. Meanwhile, I subsist behind her, barely having any control over my emotions. If someone were to question about my state at the moment, I would undoubtedly break out into sobs. That is how overwhelmed I am.

I don't want to let him go. I want him to be with me, always. But I can't do anything now to prevent him from going so, neither is it an appropriate thing to do. He has worked hard to earn this job. Hence it's only proper If I accompany him to Chennai rather than trying to get him to stay back here.

My studies would end after two months! The final semester exam is fast approaching. And we don't have marks for attendance either. Yet I attend every day because I've always been interested in studies. Anyway, If my marriage happens on the date on which it was previously fixed so, then  I would have to cut one month of attending the classes...

It's not something that I'm ought to do but I don't want to prevail far from him. However, I will prepare well and appear for the exams duly. And once I complete my undergraduate, I desire to pursue higher studies in my stream BA in English literature, and become a teacher...

"Thamara," I snap out of my thoughts at my mama's soothing voice. "Bye," he mutters softly and I slightly nod my head at him, refusing to look into his eyes, scared that my tears would stumble down my cheeks without any restraint.

Forthwith, as usual, everyone gathers outside to send off mama and surprisingly, he had the nerve to pay his entire attention to me amidst the existence of every elder!

I was embarrassed.

"Merely five days before I come here again to meet you, don't be dull Thamara..." The atmosphere turns gloomier at his words and my heart shatters internally, provoking my eyes to push down the tears.

God, this is bad. How did I suddenly become so vulnerable?

Noticing my pathetic state, my cousins come to my rescue. They attempt to console me but I couldn't handle myself and quit these tears that seemed to flow out of my eyes endlessly! What is wrong with me? I am not a crybaby... at least not when I'm out in public!

I had never felt so helpless. Why does being away from him stir so much pain within me? I never knew this side of love...the concept of loving someone so deeply that even their temporary absence could cause them immeasurable anguish.

What have I become, kadavulae(god)?

Does Deva mama feel the same way as me? Does it hurt him to stray away from me? To find an answer to these questions, I raise my head and stare at his stiffened self. I couldn't make out his face clearly due to my blurry vision yet when little by little, his form became obvious to my view, my heart shrinks at the rosy tint his eyes bears.

He is holding back his tears and emotions that resulted his eyes to take up a colour that shadows his true feelings...

"Thamara," my mom warns, asking me to get a grip of myself.

The other elders shares a similar look of sympathy. "Deva," some of them amuses when they detect his disheartened state and a few aunties lurk around him to console him.

This is so chaotic and all of this is because of my uncontrollable tears!

"Why are you both even feeling sad? You are going to marry within a few week time!" Keerthi aunt booms, giving us both a confused glance.

My insides quiver with happiness but still, I can't adjust to the idea of being away from him.

"Tharani, I think we should conduct the marriage as soon as possible. They are lost..." One of my aunts attests to my mother who looks angry yet concerned.

And after a long moment...my tears halt. Deva mama was flushed by his suppressed emotions. He then departs hurriedly after giving us all a nod while I just stare at his back...feeling numb.

No matter what, I'm going to execute the plan my Deva mama had suggested.

In the night, during the dinner time, there remained an awkward silence.
"My childhood friend Geetha has invited me to attend her marriage. She resides in Thiruvannamalai district and two of our mutual friends were planning to attend her marriage by commuting through train..." I mumble, peeking at my parents determinedly.

I shouldn't show any hesitation! If I do so, they will instantly identify the lie that I'm coating as a truth.

"When is her marriage?" Dad questions with a straight face. "On Tuesday, but she asked us to get there on Monday evening...to attend her reception (some regions in TN do conduct reception before marriage)"

"Who are the friends accompanying you?" Mom asks dubiously. "Rani and Harini..." I blurt out the names of my school friends. We all were great friends in the childhood but as we grew up, we broke apart.

Also, their houses are far from ours and my parents barely have any contact with them.

"Okay...so you have to start tomorrow morning itself?" My father queries and I nod busily. "Give your mother the numbers of those two girls," I nod my head at him and plan to give two of my college friend's numbers.

"So may I go?" I inquire calmly and my father just nods his head.

Post the dinner, I reach out to two of my good college friends and asked them to help me with my plan. They were quick to agree so!

Afterward, I pack my clothes in a small suitcase and all other much-needed essentials for traveling. Once wrapped up, I call my Deva mama while falling back onto the bed with a relieved sigh.

As he attends within the first ring, I enthusiastically speak up, "Mama! My parents have agreed to send me to my friend's marriage!" Mama says a 'huh' on the other end.

"Mama...I mean, I have successfully implemented the plan you have proposed. I am starting my journey the next morning," I smile, yet felt guilty for deceiving my parents. This freaking love had me do all the things that I despised and was strictly against.

I used to scrunch my face with a sickening look whenever these so-called lovers in my class would bunk the class and go out.

At present, I'm no better than them...!

"Damn it, good job Thamara," I could feel the glee in his voice. "But be safe and alert okay? Do message me once per 30 minutes. And contact me when you reach the destination, I will pick you up," I blush at his care towards me.

"Don't you be stressed about my safety mama! I have gotten the knife, blade, and chili powder for my protection. To top it all, I have my leg to damage the balls of any perverts!" Mama chuckles, causing my stomach to evoke with butterflies.

God, I'm so hopelessly in love with him!

"Had your food?" I reply an yes and bite my lower lip, feeling shy at the remembrance of his fingers against my chest...caressing those bosoms of mine.

"And?" Mama urges but I'm at a loss for words now. "And...nothing mama. I just miss you," he replies rapidly.

"Mutual feelings pondati (wife) I'm desperate to see you tomorrow," I close my mouth and smile widely.

"Me too mama...and good night," I utter, harshly biting on my lip to restrict my blush.

"Good night ma...love you," my heart lunges forward at his confession. I truly can't wait to behold him! "Love you, mama..." I say, feeling distinct sensations wafting inside my tummy.

Love is beautiful.

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