Chapter 35

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**JAX POV**

I watched her pull out of the parking lot and it took everything I had to follow through with the promise not to follow her. I looked at the clubhouse and everyone was watching either her leave or me. I then went to get on my bike, I was done.

"Where are you going?" Tig asked me.

"We can't let her do this. I know I promised..."

"Exactly Jax, you go back on that...she will never forgive you." Tig said and I groaned.

"I love her." I admitted. I admitted this to her father and Tig just nodded.

"I know you do. You love her like I loved her mother." Tig said and I looked at him. He sighed and looked down.

"What are you talking about?" I asked.

"Story for another time..." Tig quickly said as Clay came walking over.

"We need to talk." Clay said.

"Yeah, no we don't."

"It's business."

"I'm tired of business! I'm trying to fight the urge to not fucking leave this club and go after the girl I love!" I yelled.

"She's nothing but a piece of ass you can get somewhere else's and forget about her! She was trouble!" Clay growled. I walk right up to Clay and punch him across the face. He stumbled and went to punch me, but I block him and punch him again on the other side of his face and then in the stomach.

Clay is bent over in pain and trying to catch his breath as he takes a seat on the bench. I get in his face.

"Don't fucking say that about her again! I will get her back eventually and she will be mine. Once she is back, I'm done with this club, and I will give her whatever life she wants."

"Jax, she won't be back...I know I don't know her as well as I should, but I know she won't be back." Tig spoke up looking at the ground.

"I just...I -..." I tried to get out, but I couldn't make a sentence form. I just walked away and back to my bike.

"Where are you going?" Gemma asked.

"Somewhere to think." I said.

"I'll go with you, but I want to make a stop by my house first." Tig said and I nodded. We headed to Tig's house. He went inside as I waited and then he followed me.

I went to the park that Jules and I always went to. Tig and I got off our bikes and walked to a picnic table to sit at. I sighed looking at the tree Jules and I always sat under.

"Jules and I used to come here when we wanted to get away or when we would just need to talk. I thought maybe she would be here when I thought about coming here." I admitted and Tig huffed a laugh.

"You brought her here?"

"Yeah, I don't really know why I ever started coming here but it spoke to me." I said.

"Jax, I used to bring you here as a kid when Gemma needed you away from the club." Tig admitted and I looked at him.

"Really?"

"Yeah, in fact in time I even brought Tessa with us. She was pregnant with Jules. You were maybe 2 possibly 3. Tessa was about to give birth to Jules, and I wanted to spend time with them knowing it was the plan to do something crazy and take whatever happened." Tig said and I looked at him and then smirked.

"I kind of remember this...I remember Jules kicking and Tessa letting me feel it. I thought it was an alien." I said and Tig huffed a laugh.

"Yeah, getting you to not say anything cost me some candy and a toy motorcycle. I thought your mom was going to kill me for getting you sugar." Tig said and I smiled with a shrug.

"So, with Tessa, why didn't you just propose? I mean bring her to the club?" I asked.

"The reason we are dealing with now. I didn't want to lose her because of the club or life. She wasn't cut out for it." Tig said and I just half nodded. "Thing is Jax...the day I brought her to the park I had something in my pocket. I was going to do something that was going to lead me on a future of not being in the club." Tig continued and pulled something from his pocket setting it on the table. I saw the ring box.

"Were you going to -...?" I trailed off.

"I did propose. I actually asked her to marry me. Right here in this park as you ran around like a crazy child, I asked her to marry me. I told her I was willing to leave the club and live the normal American life. She told me she knew I could never really leave the club and it would always be my life. She said she loved me and loved that I gave her a child and would love me to be a part of her life, but it was my choice. I chose wrong Jax, I didn't fight for her, I should have fought. I should have done anything I could to get her to stay with me and make her believe that I could change but I took her home and the next contact I had was from the hospital telling me she was having the baby." Tig told the story, something I knew no one knew, only Tig...and now me.

"Why are you telling me this?" I asked.

"I'm telling you this, so you don't make the same mistakes I did. I know we have to let her go now but you shouldn't let her stay gone forever. You will eventually be brought back to her somehow and when you are you will have a choice to make as will she. If her love is strong enough for you, she will let you be in the club but if your love for her is stronger than anything else, you need to leave the club Jackson." Tig said and then slid the ring box over to me. "Then give her this and make her yours forever."

I opened the ring box and looked at the round diamond solitaire ring. "Are you giving me your permission?" I asked with a smirk. Tig smiled with a nod.

"I am." Tig said. "

I just looked at this ring and made myself a silent promise. I would find Jules soon and make her mine for the rest of our lives. 

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