Sober to death

Chapter 7

Hyunjin even in his panic recognized Chan's tone, so the moment his eyes opened again he wished they hadn’t.

How could he live knowing Jisung... knew?
He had done such a great job hiding, how could he... slip?
How did Jisung think of him now?
How is he feeling?
Is he disappointed?
Disgusted?
Sad?
Hurt?
Betrayed?

"Hyunjin, I can feel your brain overworking itself trhough closed eyes."

"I am sorry Changbin."

"Hmmm, how about you stop apologizing and you start speaking up."
"I don't-"

"No, it is not an option. Speak up. Unless you want me to wake Minho up-"

"No... it's just... he knows."

"Sung?"

"Yes, you and I both know Chan..."

"Yes we do know. But truthfully, I believe this is the right thing."

"But..."

"No, you don't get it. You see we are eight grown men living together. We have formed a beautiful bond together. We make a team. Each of us deals with his own problems that we always share in order to move on together, in order to live in this disgusting industry we work. We are a team and you hiding your struggles... you hold us back Hyunjin. Be selfish, speak up, listen, fight! Hiding and going behind our backs because you don't want to hurt us, it's not going to solve anything... Yes, Hyunjin, I was hurt when I learned about what you had to deal with. No, Hyunjin, it would have been more hurt if I knew I could have somehow helped you and I didn't because you were hiding, because you were scared to share your thoughts. Yes, I was hurt when we were called in the police station. No, I would have been more hurt if I was called not to take you home but to identify your corpse."

"Mr buff here, even if he woke me up and his sin is yet to be forgiven, has made an excellent point."

"Good morning, grumpy."

"You want to die?"

"No! Go on, your highness."

"Good boy. The summary of his great monolog is that if you were to die, suddenly, if you were to commit suicide and to be found by someone, even if not us, would be much more painful than being aware of your struggles, thoughts, feelings, issues and helping you cope and live through them."

"Why? It would have been easier-"

"Yes, it would."

"But since when was love easy?"

"Exactly what Mr grumpy said. We love you Hyunjin, deal with it. Either you like it or not, either you fight or not, we will for you and every other person in this house. We cannot, will not, must not, let anyone behind."

"And we won't. So for now, suck it up and let's go eat some food, you are going to eat I have noticed you haven't been eating, before I shove some tissues in that mouth of yours."

"But-"

"No, come on. Up, up, up. Everything you say can and will be used against you in court."

"Ugh, fine. Let's go."

.

"Hello Jisung, it's been a while."

"Yes, I just needed some time to think."

"Well, thinking is good as long as it doesn't prevent us from living and enjoying our life."

"No, I wasn't overthinking. I was simply thinking what we had talked about last time."