A haphazard mess of Genshin One-shots

45- Misc: Roadtrip

"Xiao, don't forget your ugly emo plain ass backpack!"

"You're insufferable."

"Don't be mean to your sister, Xiao!"

"Shut up! You're not my dad!"

"I technically adopted you."

"You're insufferable."

"Xiao, you must not treat Tartaglia in such a manner. Apologize."

"No."

"Emo."

"Hu Tao, leave your brother alone."

"You let Ganyu tease him!"

"Ganyu, you tease Xiao?"

"Hu Tao... I forgot the word... Yes, Qiqi remembers now... you're a snitch."

"Qiqi, be quiet. I'm no snitch."

"You're a stupid ass snitch, bitch."

"XIAO! LANGUAGE!"

"I hate having sisters."

"You could sell them on the black market."

"Don't encourage him, Hu Tao! And you're included in the sisters category."

"C'mon Ginger Dad, it's just a joke."

Zhongli rubbed his temples from the passenger seat of their car. He just gave up trying to parent his children a second ago, opting instead to let his husband, Childe, handle the chaotic mess of insanely strange people.

They were going on a road trip around Teyvat. Zhongli was now starting to regret actually considering Childe's idea, but it's too late now, with all their backpacks and useless things piled up in the trunk.

Their daughters, Hu Tao, Ganyu, and Qiqi, were all pretty chill about the vacation. Their sole son, Xiao, definitely wasn't. Like the emo he was, he basically refused to take off his headphones, chose a spot in the back of the car, and planned to stay inside the whole time. Tartaglia had to pull him out of bed physically to get him to leave the house.

The plan was to first drive their 8-seater van deeper into Liyue Harbor and pick up Ganyu's girlfriend, Keqing. She'd been a long-time member of the family ever since the girls started dating three years ago, and she was treated just like one of their daughters.

Afterwards, they'd head to Mondstadt, where Xiao had attended a boarding school for troubled teens for two years of High School. He has always been oddly quiet about that time. Zhongli assumes he is just quiet like that, but Tartaglia theorizes that he either got bullied, or fell in love.

Next, they were going to Fontaine. It was kind of a weird way to travel through the countries, but the main highways formed a giant U from Liyue to Fontaine, with many attractions along the way. After, it was to Childe's homeland, Snheznayahahe or whatever, and then to the secretive Natlan with no in-game info provided, and finally to Sumeru.

Because Inazuma wasn't on the main continent, they opted to skip it. Ferries are expensive.

"I thought I got the middle seat of the middle row!" Hu Tao suddenly blasted from behind the migraine-suffering Zhongli.

"No, you get the back with Xiao," Ganyu calmly and tiredly informed. "I'm in the middle with Keqing and Qiqi."

Apparently they had played a game of Uno to decide the seating for the trip last night.

"I think we should stick Qiqi in the trunk, and I sit in between the lesbians," Hu Tao suggested. "Xiao's going to murder me with his kazoo at night."

"I don't play kazoo!" Xiao barked from the back row.