Operation Senior Year : Edwin|✓

023| Breaking point 🥀🎶

       I knew this day would come. The day I would break down in school. The day my facade would wear off. The day my makeup will wash off because of my own tears.

After sobbing for a long time, I was sure my face was red and my nose was swollen and I could not breathe well.
I was running a temperature and my head was banging.

"Are you okay now?" Nneka asked.

I nodded while cleaning the last bit of my tears.

"Let's go," Oba said.

They both stood to their feet, and extended their hands to me to help me up.
Nneka checked her wrist watch, before looking back at us.

"It's 4:30 pm already."
She muttered mostly to herself.

We began to leave the toilet,
but met with Rodney, Dozie and Adeyemi.

"Guys, we've been looking for you. We heard what happened. " Rodney said in one voice.

He was looking directly at me all the while and as my friends fell into the arms of the other boys, I watched them leave, silently.

"Edwin," Rodney called softly. "What's wrong with you? Why have you been crying?"

Unable to speak, I shook my head and was about to side step him, but he softly held unto my arm.

"Edwin, don't run away from me. Tell me what happened."
Rodney said softly. So softly that my heart began to bleed for him.

"Nothing," I said, but my voice shook.

I took a deep breath and offered him a small genuine smile. "I'll be fine."

Rodney shook his head firmly.

"I will be a fool to let you go like this."

He left my arm and took my hand instead.

"Edwin....." His voice trailed off.

"I need to go. I want to sleep." I said to him.

He nodded and I thought he would let go of my hand, but instead, he pulled me into a hug. Into the warmth of his chest.

I was shocked at first, but slowly and surely, wrapped my arms around him.

Rodney smelled good.

Tears were beginning to form in my eyes again and I took a deep breath.

"Do you want to talk about it?" He asked me.

"Yes," came my small reply.

   We walked to the garden, the silence peaceful.

I took a seat and Rodney took a seat beside me.

"My life is hard, Rodney."
I started. "And I want to die,"

"Don't say that, Amy."
He replied.

My eyes shot up. "How did you...." my voice trailed off.

"It's on the cover page of all your notes." Rodney responded.
"Is that okay with you?"

I nodded, using the back of my hand to sniffle.

Rodney came close to me, wrapping his arm around my shoulder.

"Amy," He whispered.

"My father hates me," I started. "Ever since I was born. I was unplanned.
I was a mistake. Every time, he made sure to remind me.
Doesn't take me out with him, doesn't introduce me to anyone of his friends.
It's always Wendy this, Wendy that."

"And your mum?" He asked.

"My mum had problems with my Dad after my birth. Even though she loves me, she worships him. She doesn't do anything that angers him, and that includes showing care and love to the mistake in his house hold. So her behavior with me is always shaking."

"Oh," he said. "But why did you break down? Was it because of Bri?"

"Partially. Also because it reminded me of something I've been running away from a long time."
I told him.

"What have you been running away from for a long time?"
He asked.

His concerning gaze on me made my heart warm.

"I've been depressed for quite some time now. My best friend has cancer and I have no idea what's going on in her life. I don't know if she's dead or if she's alive.

I left my old school because I began having anxiety attacks and a doctor suggested I change environments.

Seeing Bri on the floor made me realize that I was only weeks away from doing what she just did, and plus, my heart was already heavy."
I concluded with a heavy sigh.

We were both silent as we sat on the garden. The school was absolutely quiet by now and very empty.

"Edwin," Rodney called softly. "I know I can't really relate, but trust me, it'll get better."

I let out a humorless laugh.
"No." I whispered. "No. It won't, and I'm not sure I'll be fine."

Rodney sighed but did not say a word.

I went back to my hostel, and my room mates were quiet and gentle with me.

  Bri was still at the school recovery room, and her parents were coming to get her.

Again, when I fell asleep, I dreamt that Debra died, I woke up, again, crying.

A really sad chapter, I know.

But our book is actually slowly coming to an end as I will be resuming senior year and going to a boarding school.

It's important that you know that I'm not merely ending this book because I've lost ideas.

No. Far from it.

I'm ending this book, because with the stress I'm about to experience in the space of one year, I will not have any ideas for this book anymore and I love it enough to not want that for this lovely story.

But I might write a spin off for this book as it is the first in the
Operation series, aight?

So we have a few more chapters to go, I have to wrap things up a lil bit.

As always
😚😙 Kissy faces for my lovely readers.