Secrets and Lies : Conrad Fisher

stupid stupid girl

i had been sitting on my bed, I don't know what I was gonna do. I knew sitting here wasn't going to change anything, it wasn't going to make it go away, so I grab my keys and phone. picked up my bag and walked down the stairs and out the door remembering to lock it because I always forget to do that, mum always yells at me, getting into my car i just sit there probably for too long, do I tell him?

Conrad Fisher the boy I've been in love with my whole life. The first and only boy I held hands with, only boy I have ever kissed, the first boy i..., well you know.

no shit Violet you are pregnant

my inner voice yells at me, it doesn't feel real. It feels like a dream like one of the stories you hear at school. The girl who had a one night stand and got pregnant because she was drunk and stupid.

but that's not me, I don't remember a time when me and Conrad weren't me and Conrad. our mothers are best friends we grew up together. I don't have a single memory of us ever being apart. our mums always like to say how we are joined at the hip always have been, always will be. he was like the boyfriend you have in kindy but with us i guess We just never broke up.

I remember when we kissed at the age of seven on the beach and I smiled, he told me that my smile is the lightest thing in the world. even when we were 14 and we snuck out to watch the sunrise we ended up getting a little to Hanzi and ran back to Conrad's bedroom that was our first time and it was perfect we even use protection then. who new 14-year-old me would be smarter than 18-year-old Me. mum put me on the pill when I was 15. she was not stupid she new what was going on and she was okay with it because it's Conrad.

even though we go to different schools and we live two hours away from each other, he still drives every second weekend to see me, well at lest he used to. we are going to college next year together we have a plan.

but Conrad was not Conrad anymore, don't get me wrong he is still the same guy but he's different. he doesn't come down every second weekend any more. I normally have to drive to make sure he is still alive. when we are together he's ok but I can tell he's hiding something I can tell he's sad. He starts fights with me over everything he's always the one to walk out. but he is also the one to apologise in the morning and then i forgiven him the next day, then it's almost like he's Conrad again, almost

i have always been the oldest even though Conrad is only 5 months younger then me. my mum away told me my siblings are my responsibility. i was never the perfect daughter but i tried my best. sure i loved to party, get drunk forget about all the pressure in my life, like every teenage girl in high school but my mum would yell at me if i was out too late or got more drunk then normal. saying i was not setting a good example for belly and Steven. don't get me wrong, me and my mum get along great. just sometimes she makes me feel like i will never be good enough but connie was always there to keep me grounded. to tell me that i'm aloud to live and have fun not to worry about what my mum says. he always made me feel better, he is my home.