Luscious Man Series 3: Danrev Blade Montillo

KABANATA 15

Hindi ako makapaniwalang si Ajax ang nasa harapan ko… hindi makatingin sa akin habang ako naman ay parang tangang masama ang tingin sa kaniya. Sumasagot pa rin naman ako kapag tinatanong o kapag kailangang magsalita. kapag kinakausap.

“I was so worried yesterday that Ajax might not be here because he declined me the last time I informed him we’ll meet you.” Ajax’s mom said in a calm and soothing voice.

“Yeah, he’s been very busy that’s why we’re worried. And he’s not really into… this kind of arrangement. He doesn’t want to be paired up since then.” Ajax looked at his dad with a scowl.

I gritted my teeth. So why he’s here now? Ano? Change of mind? Suddenly want to attend this fucking meeting para malaman kung sino ang babaeng ipapares sa kaniya ngayon? I hope he doesn’t changed his mind of not wanting to be paired up, because if he does changed his mind now… I’ll forever be angry at him.

Kaya ba naroon siya sa party ni Daddy dahil invited ang parents niya sa party na ‘yon? At… siya ang tinutukoy ni Daddy that night.

Matagal na ba siyang may ideya rito? Matagal na ba niyang alam o ngayon lang din kagaya ko?

“Excuse me, I’ll just use a restroom,” sambit ko at hindi na hinintay ang sagot nila, tumayo ako at dumiretso sa restroom.

Pumikit ako nang mariin at pagkatapos ay tinitigan ang sariling repleksyon sa salamin. I’m as red as tomato. Not because I’m flushed of something exciting but because of anger.

Gusto kong umiyak sa prustrasyong nararamdaman pero alam kong hindi ito ang tamang oras at tamang lugar para riyan. I think… I’ll cry when I’m alone… again.

Huminga ako nang malalim bago lumabas ng restroom. Natigil lang nang makita ko si Ajax na nakahilig sa dingding habang nakahalukipkip. He was in a deep thought when I saw him. And when he notice my presence, he immediately looked up and straightened his back. Inalis niya rin sa pagkakahalukipkip ang mga braso at umambang magsasalita pero naunahan ko.

“Why didn’t you tell me about this? We see each other almost everyday at school, why didn’t you tell me that you are the guy my Mom’s talking about?” then I remember I never opened this things up to him. “Alam kong nakausap ka ng parents mo tungkol dito. At alam kong kilala mo ang mga magulang ko. I never knew it was you their pairing up to me. But you knew, from the very beginning. Noong sa party pa lang, for sure alam mo na. Bakit hindi mo sinabi sa akin?” I said, accusing him for not mentioning this to me.

He sighed, “hindi ko alam na itutuloy nila ito. I knew it was you. Nang sinabi pa lang ni Mommy ang pangalan mo at na anak ka ni Gov, I already knew. Pero… maniwala ka, hindi ko alam na itutuloy nila ang arrangemeng na ito. My parents are kind of influential… na paniguradong magagamit ng magulang mo para manatili ang Daddy mo sa posisyon. Our company’s helping Local Governments with things, in terms of helping people. They support— sponsor those in needs of help. Na paniguradong gugustuhin ng magulang mo dahil nasa mataas na gobyerno ang tatay mo.”

I looked at him — no, I am glaring at him. “Bakit hindi ka tumanggi. For sure, Government can give enough help to the LGU. Dad doesn’t need to do this…” nanghihina kong sambit.

Tumango siya. “I know. Pero… hindi lang din naman ‘yon ang gusto ng Daddy mo. At ng mga magulang ko. Ang mga kompanyang hawak nila… it can expand if they merge.”

Napapikit ako nang mariin.

“I don’t want to marry you, nor be involved in this fucking arrangement. I already have a boyfriend. You know that. I am not up for marrying someone I don’t love. Gusto kong… gawin ang mga bagay na gusto ko pang gawin nang hindi nakatali sa kung sino man. We’re still young. We still need to grow more.”