Days Go By | lavashipping

**.*.*.***

The colourful surface was so calm, so steady.

Until he spun the mug again and disrupted its peace. Then, with a sigh, he finally spoke up.

“Kai?”

“Hm?” He turned to him just as he took a bite of the bread he was preparing for himself.

“There's this business trip Vania is planning… Next month. For two weeks.” Staring at the tea which was getting colder and colder as he barely drank was perhaps easier than reciprocating Kai's curious gaze. “Well, it's supposed to be kind of a break. In the Wailing Alps to relax and find new inspiration and learn new stuff, that sorta thing…” But he looked up nevertheless. “I said I'll go.”

“Two weeks?” Kai asked.

“Yeah.”

They sighed (Cole couldn't really decipher the meaning) and went to sit next to him at the table, bringing their plate along. “Damn, that's long. In the Wailing Alps?”

“Yep.”

“Ooh, you're lucky, I've never been there but Nya and Lloyd were and they say it's really beautiful. I've got some postcards but, you know, nothing's better than the original. ”

“So… You don't mind? If I go?”

Kai waved his hand, as if he was just swatting away a fly. “Pfft, I'm not your dad. Luckily. You can do whatever you want and I feel like work vacation in the mountains is perfect for you. I'm probably not even gonna miss you because I'm so independent and not clingy at all.”

“Uh-huh.” Cole nodded his head, tiny smile tugging at his lips despite the odd queasiness.

“Of course I understand how difficult it will be for you but you're strong, you can do it.”

“So…?”

Kai leaned closer over the table, his smile softening. “Seriously, it's cool. You don't have to ask permission to leave my side.”

“I just thought I should ask… It's not like I have to go, I wouldn't mind staying here.”

“Cole, it's the Wailing Alps. You'd be an idiot to stay in a stupid metropolis instead.” Then the smile vanished, as concern took over. Cole instantly wanted to retrieve the missing spark. Partly because he couldn't help but wish to keep Kai happy at all times but also partly because it meant the conversation was about to shift somewhere that probably wasn't going to be as lighthearted.

“Just… I know this is to relax and all, so I think that's really good but… Don't you think you might be overworking yourself a little? A lot?”

Cole for sure turned into an ant under his gaze. Must have. He leaned back into his seat, crossing his arms over his chest, once again unable to hold the eye contact. His throat was dry but it was too late to take a sip of the tea he has been staring at for a while now.

“I guess–” Cole cleared his throat. “I guess it just runs in the family… I keep noticing it sometimes but I can't help it. When I work I just… just work.”

“So when do you not work?”

“I mean right now we're just talking… And a lot of the time I spend with y–”

“All right, I'll ask differently – when do you not think about work?”

“Is this a catch or something? 'Cause we're just talking…”

“Yeah but you were thinking about work, am I right? That's why you started talking about it, no? I can't see into your brain so I don't know how many times you think about it just because something reminded you. Maybe it's all you think about for all I know or maybe I'm totally wrong about this but I'm gonna be worried anyway.” Kai seemed to want to hold onto his hand but it wasn't there, so he took him by the arm instead.

“Look, I'm not saying it's bad to work hard or like your job and whatnot. I think your dedication would be admirable if you sometimes thought about yourself too. I know you love it, I know you want to prove yourself and that's good! And I'll support you without hesitation but I want you to support yourself too. Not Cole Brookstone the fashion designer. You. The wonderful, sweet guy I know that deserves to take a break sometimes, relax and go to sleep at a normal hour.”

“I'm sorry,” Cole muttered, the guilty feeling emitting a strong sense of déjà vu. His eyes or maybe his head was too heavy for him to raise his gaze even a little, to see more of Kai than the fingers curled around his arm.

“Don't be sorry, just… Promise me you'll take care of yourself too. Because I'm not always going to be there to bribe you with kisses, all right? A lot of the time we are the only person truly there for us, you know.”

“I'll wor–” Cole stopped abruptly, as if the word itself burnt his tongue. “I'll get better.”

“I hope this is the one and only time you're promising it.” The warmth disappeared once Kai pulled his hand away. Their redirected to the lone mug. “Your tea's colder than Empress Aspheera's heart. Don't try to reheat it in the microwave again, please.” With that, they got up and took their plate. As they passed behind him, Kai kissed the top of Cole's head, rubbed his arm, before aiming for the exit. “I'm about to claim the whole couch for mine so I hope you weren't planning on sitting there because I certainly am not planning on scooting over.”

Cole remained staring at the now vacant seat for a while, the tone of Kai's voice probably forever to be ingrained in his memory.

If only he could be that mug of tea. Perhaps a little cold but calm, still and peaceful. Instead, he felt like a barman's shaker. So hectic, so unsteady.