The Princess And The Castle Maid

Chapter 16

"Johnathon," Prince Theodore declared, barging into my study when I was going through the debate timetables.

He was with Prince Lucas.

"Gentlemen," I said, keeping my tone calm. I had dealt with enough derogotary terms this trip that I knew what to expect by now. "What can I do you for?"

"We have a few things to...Discuss, I'm afraid."

I leaned back in my chair. "No, I won't lay off with the debates and no, you can't bribe me with money."

"We weren't suggesting either of those things, actually." Lucas said. "We've found out something rather interesting about you."

"About me?" I asked. "Hit me with it."

"Well," Theodore interrupted. "Let's not get too ahead of ourselves. First, we want you to understand that we wish to help you."

"...Help..." This word seemed incredibly off to me. "Hmm."

"We aren't like those other Princes," Lucas said. "We don't want you to fail, we want you to succeed."

"Yeah, absolutely!" Theodore flashed me a smile. "And, if you allow us, we could seriously help you climb that ladder, brother."

"...Brother?"  I almost laughed, unimpressed.

"Theo, I told you not to say that," Lucas snapped. "Nobody says that."

"Shut up-" Theodore took a deep breath. "Alright, I think you get the gist. Now-"

"Weren't you...Sorry, Theodore, but Lucas- weren't you telling me the other day that you didn't like my background? That you were an enemy?"

Lucas began shifting on his feet. "Hah, just trash talk. Before we went up against each other, you know."

I hesitated, biting my cheek. "Huh."

"Okay, listen," Theodore began again. "If you don't tell us the truth, I'm afraid we can't help you. You want help, yes?"

"Depends," I said.

"Right, okay. Lucas?"

"Take 'em out, Theo." Lucas said, standing regimented as Theo began rooting through his pocket.

"I can't-" Theo couldn't get whatever he had out of his pocket and began jumping to try and force them out.

"THEO!" Lucas shouted. "You're ruining our bit!"

"Got it!" Theo raised a few pieces of paper into the air, slamming them on my desk. "Yeah, buddy, we know."

I picked up the items, and was met with two pictures of me. One of me leaving Naveah's room, the other one of me walking down the hall and doing up a button.

Shit. They really did know. Did I pretend not to know?

"I don't know what these are," I said, chucking them back onto the desk. "Sorry."

"Oh, really?" Theo asked, trying to be intimidating.

"I mean-"

"HAH!" Lucas yelled.

"Lucas, man, calm down," I said. "Listen, I'll admit it, I have a secret. But until I say it, I'm not guilty of anything. These could've just been me accidentally getting the wrong room. I am new around here, aren't I?"

Theo looked down at me, as if he wasn't shorter than me. "We could expose these, you know. Exploit them. Then you'd be in-"

"Trouble? I doubt it. Like I said, not guilty until proven so." I shrugged. "To be honest, I don't need your help. I'd rather keep my secret."

Theo and Lucas exchanged a suspicious glance as Theo smugly began talking again. "You like your secrets, don't you? Well, wanna know another one?"

"Sure." I replied.

"They're thinkin' of kicking you out of the final round." 

My heart began to pound a little faster. Though I couldn't exactly tell between the truth or a lie with these guys, if this was true, I would be pretty crushed.

But for what? The only thing I'd lose is my girlfriend's-sister's-hand in marriage.

I guess I'd hate losing because it would mean that I'd let these idiots win.

But, whilst we're on the topic, when were Naveah and Zelda going to reveal their secret? How long was I actually going to keep debating for Zelda's hand? What would happen to me and Naveah if I won? Or, if I lost, for that matter?

Either way, losing was out of the cards.

"Oh," Was all I could say.

Lucas nodded. "Yeah. So, actually, you do want our help. So spit it out, brokie, or we may have to say goodbye to you."

I sighed, shifting in my seat. I was really about to do this, wasn't I? 

"Alright," I shrugged. "I had sex with your mother."

Lucas gased and screamed. "YOU BITCH!" 

"HE'S JOKING, YOU DUMBASS!" Theo yelled back. 

"Oh." Lucas cleared his throat as a few moments of silence fell. "So what's the real secret?"

"Depends if the other secret is true. Where did you hear it?" I asked.

"The newspaper," Theo said. "Nobody higher up in the castle reads it, but, I nick myself a copy every week. Look, here's the article about you."

I took it from him, scanning the article.

Yes, it was true. They were thinking of pulling me out.

"Shit." I mumbled.

"Just tell us," Lucas demanded. 

"Alright," I said, for the second time. 

"You sure it was a joke?" I heard Lucas mumble to Theo.

"Yeah, man."

"Okay."

I took in a deep breath. "I've been..."

"Because, I worry, sometimes, that she...You know, she brings all these guys home, and-"

"No, I promise you, she's alright."

"Jokes like that aren't funny, you know?"

"Yeah. Disrespectful."

I burst out just then, growing impatient with this whole affair. "Look, do you guys wanna hear the secret or not?!" 

"Yes! Yes. Tell us," Lucas ensured.

I breathed a deep breath for the final time. "Me and the Princess, we've been having an affair."

The two Princes gaped immediately. 

"Ho-ly-shit," Theo mouthed.

"So?" I asked. "Are you gonna help me?"