her sanctuary (sequel)

13. t.he air that i breathe

Lil filler chapter

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This shit don't sound right

For the last three hours, I've been making beats to pass the time but nothing is working. This was my job, my passion but the flame I once had seems to have fizzled out over the last week.

Nothing felt right
The tempo was off, and so was the cadence, I couldn't get the pitch to my liking either. Nothing was going as planned, the past week has been nothing but a shit show for me. I haven't shaved in a minute; my braids are grown out I look like how I feel. Like shit, I haven't communicated much with the outside world its not like I have the strength to muster it up anyways.

Since I can't go to the rehabilitation center for obvious reasons, my physical therapist Cathy brings all her equipment and comes to the crib. Cathy is a middle-aged white lady who's been helping me with my paralysis, she's mad patient with me. She has that motherly vibe to you that makes you push your limits. Cathy would come around, one o'clock so I would unlock the door for her in advance.

A beeping noise was heard throughout the house, this would happen everytime the front door would be opened, I was in the kitchen getting myself a bottle of Gatorade before I heard Cathy's voice.

"Demetrius, I'm here hun".

"Wassup Miss Cathy how are ya"

"I'm good sweet heart how have you been holding up, you've been doing your thirty minutes everyday right".

"Yeah Ive been doing it as often as I can honestly".

"Is Aaliyah here this is the second time she isn't the one opening the door for me " she lightheartedly spoke ,Miss Cathy was just like my mom, nosey and too smart for her own good. You couldn't put anything past that lady.

"Umm nah she ain't here, we are on kind of a break"

"Oh lord you young folks and all these breaks yall be taking, well then I'm not gonna bother you too much about it lets get started shall we"

"You're doing do well Demetrius's your progressing quicker than anyone ive ever seen you'll start walking again before you know it keep your head up honey.

"Thanks, miss Cathy I really hope so too, this year has been hard enough I just wanna walk again that's it.

"And you will just keep doing your exercises and believe in yourself honey.

That's exactly what I've been doing ever since my last session with miss Cathy, I've been prioritizing myself a little better and trying not to think too much about the weight of not having Aaliyah weigh me down everyday.

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"I know baby, let it out"

"How could he Lay, I thought that once everything happened we could have gotten better together. Was I not attentive enough for him?"

"Don't you dare try and blame yourself for all of this, he made this choice and that has nothing to do with you."

For the past week, I had been crying, eating, taking care of Deja then crying all over again". I have no motivation to do anything, I thought once I was away from home maybe I would feel a bit better, but it's made me miss him even more.

"Lee, no one deserves to get cheated on ever especially you, you have such a pure an honest heart. Excuse my French boo but he's a dumbass if he thinks he could have better than you, remember that."

This few days I really was questioning everything, weather it was even a smart choice to get with Demetrius from the beginning. Maybe we were doomed from the beginning, it was just a mater of time for one of us to mess up and relaize it. He hurt me worse than anyone has ever, but yet my heart wants him so badly it makes me sick.

A knock is heard at the bedroom, Adalia pops her head in and the sight of her makes me cry. This past week has had me extra emotional, its not fun.

Both Layla's and Dalia's smiles vanish when seeing me crying.

"Girl what's wrong" Adalia placed the bags of goodies in her hand on the floor and ran on the bed where me and Layla were.

"I didn't know you where coming, that's so s-sweet Ads" I was bawling my eyes the tears were pouring down like a river.

"You don't ever have to thank me for being there for you Liyah that's my job.

"Yall are really the best, Lay thank you for letting me stay here and Ads thank you for coming in clutch with the food a bitch is hungry.

"No problem" it was pretty much a girl's night for the rest of evening plus Deja, she kept us entertained with her cuteness.

Shooter wasn't home, he was visiting Demetrius as always. He expressed his sorrow about the situation when seeing me the night of the fight. I wouldn't be shocked if he knew about Solange before me, those two couldn't keep anything from each other even if their life depended on it. I had not animosity towards him though cause

if it were Lay cheating and I known about it I don't think I could bring myself to tell him.

k bye yall !!!