10. i. know you miss me baby

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I've been scrolling through my phone for 30 minutes, looking at all the pics Aaliyah and I took for nearly a decade. I hated myself beyond words; this girl gave me her heart and gave me two kids that sometimes I believe I didn't deserve.

I love her so bad, I'd take another bullet for her, this time to the heart. I messed up with entertaining Solange, even though we never got nasty over text. I still knew her intentions, and I didn't reject her antics.

I just can't have Lee leave me; if she goes, shit I'll die inside. I have no one in my corner beside her; she's all I have... All've ever wanted.

My baby is a whole therapist and still chooses to give me my space and not force any crazy psychologic remedies on me; I appreciate the fuck outta her for that. I was wrong. I can admit that, but I can't accept that to her right now with the possibility of her leaving me; I just can't.
She might be at her breaking point at after everything that I put her through.

I called her out of her name, pushed her away and haven't made this time of grievance any more convenient for the both of us. I was supposed to hold her in my arms and listen to her cry as I reassured her that everything would be okay. I failed her as a man, as a friend and even as a place she has called her safe space.

Imma right my wrongs, but that girl right there ain't leaving me.

Over my dead fucking body.

We had certain parts of the house redone so it could be easier for me to get from the upstairs to the downstairs area without Lee helping me too much. I hated shit like that; having her change her way of living so I can be more "comfortable" makes me feel like I'm burdening her somehow.

All she does is cook, clean and take care of Deja. All she used to ever talk about was work, and how much she loved her job, with everything going on, I wonder if she ever thinks about her life before all of this happened. I know I do, I'm constandly thinking about what life could have looked like if I didn't get shot that afternoon.

My son would have been here, Aaliyah would have been smiling more, and I would still be making beats and living my best life. I don't know if I'll ever get to experience that again.

I stood in the living room not too far from Aaliyah. I just watched her from a distance without making my presence known just yet.

God, she is perfect, with perfect hair, the perfect amount of thickness, and a perfect personality but I feel her falling out of love with me day by dat. I can feel it but I try not to think about it too much.

"Hey bae"

"Hey Demetrius" the sharpest pain straight to my heart, who the fuck is Demetrius. I'm supposed to be baby or Metri at least.

her sanctuary (sequel)Onde as histórias ganham vida. Descobre agora