𝐢𝐬 𝐭𝐡𝐢𝐬 𝐥𝐨𝐯𝐞? : 𝘯𝘦𝘺𝘮𝘢𝘳 𝘫𝘳 ✔︎

twenty-eight

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☼

it had been a few months now, and kiania still hadn't picked up to neymar's calls. and yes, he was still calling. 

the phone blared it's never-ending ring, one again being caused by neymar. he called in the mornings, but since she was going back to school, he skipped the ones during the day, and called when she got home from school, and just before she got ready to go to bed. it was as if he'd memorised her schedule.

whilst her parents got started on dinner, she played with her hair nervously, waiting for the ringing to end so she could hear his voice without having to actually pick up. after about a minute, it ended with the usual, 'leave your message', and she waited.

"kia, are you there?"

instead of it being neymar's voice, it was rafaella's. despite her head telling her not to answer, she couldn't ignore rafaella. so, for the first time in months, she picked up.

"sorry, rafa. hi." she spoke, lifting her voice so she sounded happier. 

on the other line, she heard rafa laugh, "i haven't spoken to you in ages. neymar's talking to my pai, i got here before he did."

she smiled with a soft chuckle, "i miss you, how have you been?"

"oh, good. i like my school. everyone's really nice. i miss home, though. i've asked ney to buy me a house there when i get older, but he said i can just have sleepovers at yours and ney's house. i miss you too."

her expression faltered for a moment. she didn't know he'd said that. she didn't know anything, though, to be fair. whenever she listened to his voicemails, all he said was that he missed her, and he wanted to hear her voice. and again, that he was sorry, that he loved her.

"how is he? i haven't spoken to him in a while." again, she went against her head telling her not to ask anything about him, her heart calling out for him at any minor chance she got.

"he's okay, i suppose. quiet though– what?" rafaella seemed to have got distracted by someone in the backgroud. presumably neymar, which made kiania panick.

"i'm talking to kia. kia, do you wanna talk to ney–" 

kiania cut her off, "i have to go, rafa. i'm sorry. i'll talk to you soon."

she rushed to put the phone down. she sat there for a moment, contemplating whether or not it was a mistake. whether or not she'd just missed out on her chance to talk to him. pussying out.

the phone started ringing, and she knew it was him this time. and she knew that he knew she was there, blatantly ignoring his calls. as she sat there anxiously, it went to voicemail. she heard him sigh.

"anjo, please answer me. i want to talk to you. i really miss you. i love you, a lot."

---

"kia, don't ignore me. i know you're there, let me talk to you." neymar begged into the phone after shoving his sister out of his room. after he'd walked into his bedroom to see rafaella talking away on the phone, only to find out it was kiania, he was rushing to talk to her, but she'd already put it down.

he huffed. now he knew that she most definitely was on the other line, he wasn't giving up. he was desperate for her.

"kia, i'm not gonna put the phone down. just please talk to me, that's all i want." he sat on the edge of his bed, resting his elbows on his knees while he waited. 

"as much as i love you, and respect you and every decision you make, i'm not letting you break up with me. not until you talk to me." he waited, no response.

he didn't say anything for a few minutes, just waiting patiently for her. like he did when she was out late at night, drunk. like that night though, he was becoming impatient. annoyed. worried. he needed her to talk to him, it was eating at him. he was growing angry that she was deliberately ignoring him, just listening to him say more or less the same thing every time she didn't answer.

"christmas is coming up, kia. i've got you something. i'm gonna send it to you. i can't come see you 'till new years, so i want you to call me on christmas day. when you get it."

she still didn't answer, "anjo, pick up. you don't even have to say anything. just pick up so i know you're listening to me."

he waited, longer and longer, but she wasn't doing anything. he exhaled, running his hands through his hair, "you're really hurting me, anjo. and i know you must be hurt too by what i said, but, i promise you, i don't want anyone else. i told you that when you were talking about your friend."

he ran his hand over his face, starting to give in, "i'm gonna come to you, anjo. i am. as soon as i can. whether you answer or not, i need to see you. i love you."

just in case, he waited for a few more minutes, the tiniest bit of hope that she'd answer clinging on for dear life. he'd been doing this every single day, no fail for months, and he was planning on  doing it up until he got to her house. he'd even call her until he reached her room, until she looked at him if he had to.

a yell from the hallway caught a bit of his attention. it was his father, "i– i have to go. i love you, anjo. i miss you. i'm sorry."

☼

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