𝐢𝐬 𝐭𝐡𝐢𝐬 𝐥𝐨𝐯𝐞? : 𝘯𝘦𝘺𝘮𝘢𝘳 𝘫𝘳 ✔︎

five

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☼

kiania stumbled her way into her bedroom. 

neymar had been to another event in santos, so some of her other friends had invited her to hang out with them. she didn't know that by hang out, they meant drink. she'd never drank any type of alcohol before, but she didn't want them to know that, so she said she loved to drink, and she'd drink whatever was given to her. 

big mistake.

turns out that she couldn't take it very well, and after two or three bottles of god-knows-what, she was slurring, stumbling, falling and giggling. still, she claimed that she was fine, and she had more, so, here she was, sneaking into her house at early hours of the morning as quietly as she could.

closing her bedroom door behind her, she looked toward her bed to see a very worried looking neymar standing from it, rushing over to her.

"where have you been, kia?" he whispered urgently, cupping her jaw with his hands and quickly inspecting her face, then the rest of her.

she hiccuped and attempted to take a step toward him, but nearly tripped over her own feet. he caught her with a quick hand, furrowing his brows down at her. when she giggled at herself, he got a waft of her breath, and immediately recognised the smell.

"have you been drinking, kia? oh meu deus." he led her to her bed, sitting her down on it.

"i have," she grinned, "how'd you know?"

"you reek of it. and you're acting like it." he stated, placing his hands on his hips. he was stressed. 

he'd come home, and was hoping to see her, but he didn't, so he decided to stay in her bedroom and wait for her. when she didn't show, he went looking for her. he obviously didn't find her, came back, and lied to her parents for her, telling them she'd gone to sleep early. for the rest of the night, he'd stayed in her bedroom in case she'd finally show, now and again going out to find her. he hadn't slept at all.

"oh, sorry." she giggled a little loud, and he quickly shushed her, earning an innocent smile from her, "i was out with some people 'cause i was bored without you. i told them i liked drinking."

"you've never drunk before." he inhaled, "let alone getting drunk."

she let out a sad sigh, placing her hands in her lap, "i know."

"you can't just not come home though, kia. i was so worried about you." he sat down in front of her, resting his chin on her knee and closing his eyes, "i waited for you all night."

"i'm sorry, neymar." she cupped his jaw with her hand, rubbing over his cheek with her thumb gently. he opened his eyes to look up at her, surprised with the way she was acting, but, she was drunk out of her mind. the more he gazed at her, the more beautiful she became. she'd always been beautiful, but something about her at this moment made him almost swoon over her. 

she smiled down at him again, and a sudden urge of confidence burst throughout her, "i've never kissed anyone before, either."

his brows knit together in confusion, "how?"

"i don't know," she chuckled softly, shrugging her shoulders, "no one wants to kiss me, i suppose."

"i–" he couldn't believe what he was about to say, "i want to kiss you."

her smile fell from her face as she tilted her head down at him, "you do?"

he nodded, a small part of him regretting what he'd just said, feeling as if he was taking advantage of her when she was drunk, even though he hadn't done anything. 

"then kiss me." she giggled when he stood, leaning back a bit on the bed.

he debated it for a moment. she was drunk, and she probably wouldn't remember it in the morning. also, it might stop him from getting hard around her all the time.

he moved closer to her, placing his hand next to hers as he cupped her jaw, leaning in slightly. her breath caught in her throat as he did so, and as he got closer, her eyes fluttered closed.

he was quick to regret his decision, and before he kissed her, he pulled away from her. it was wrong. she couldn't make a decision for herself when she was drunk, and he wasn't going to take advantage of her, so he stepped away from her.

when she felt him pull away, she opened her eyes, cheeks scarlet in colour. she drunkenly gazed up at him, a saddened expression on her face.

"you–" she shut her mouth, looking away from him and sitting normally again, "it's okay."

she felt idiotic that she thought he was going to kiss her, and she deflated a little. she figured he didn't want to kiss her, and that he was joking, so she moved up her bed, getting in her covers. she couldn't help but feel hurt, and the feeling of rejection made tears well up in her eyes.

neymar felt guilty when he saw her reaction, and let out a breath of air, making his way over to her again. he didn't want her to think he didn't want to, and he felt awful that he'd even say something like that in the first place, let alone nearly do it.

"no, kia, i'm sorry," he sat on the edge of her bed as she pulled her covers up, "i don't know why i did that, i'm sorry."

he reached out to wipe the tears falling from her eyes, but she pulled away, "it's okay, i don't mind. it's my fault."

she laid down, and he tried to reach for her hands, but she pulled them out of his reach, "it's not your fault– kia, please."

she sniffled, laying on her back and wiping her own tears, "i'm sorry i had you worried, i won't do it again."

"please don't change the subject." he moved so he was fully facing her.

she didn't want to look at him, embarrassed and rejected, so she looked up at the ceiling, salty tears falling down her temples, soaking through her hair and the pillow.

"i wanted to kiss you." he admitted, grabbing onto her hands, never looking away from her, desperately wanting her to look back at him.

"neymar, i really don't mind. i promise–"

"kiania, i did." he exhaled, "i did. but it's not right. and not now."

she swallowed, glancing at him, but quickly looked away when she found his eyes hopelessly searching for hers.

"you're beautiful, kia, you really are, and obviously i want to kiss you, are you stupid? do you not remember the other day?" he chuckled breathily, "i can't though, kia. you're my best friend, and you're drunk. i'm not doing anything like that with you when you're drunk."

she seemed to have disregarded everything he said about him wanting to kiss her, and took the rest of it as rejection. she sobbed, rolling over so she wasn't facing him anymore, and pulled the covers up to her chin.

neymar was overwhelmed by guilt. he'd never seen her drunk before, and neither had she, so they were both new to her drunken ways. obviously, she got emotional.

he sat for a moment, but slowly, he stood from the bed. he leaned down to press a small kiss to her temple, running his hand through her hair, whispering softly, "i'll kiss you one day, okay, kia? i promise you."

he stood straight again, watching her eyes close as she drifted off into a deep slumber, and he decided that he'd sleep on the floor to help her with her hangover tomorrow, and hopefully hide it from her parents. he didn't know how he was gonna do it, but he was.

☼

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