(completed)
When Evelyn Cruz, the youngest of the Cruz siblings, comes full circle back to an old family friend, she instantly is flooded with old memories. The Valor's have come back with business. That's all they truly cared for. The eldest son of...
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Trevor is holding a hand over my mouth and I'm being suffocated and I can't breathe. I swear I'm passing out and then...
Sitting up in bed I grip my throat gasping for the air I thought I had lost. Im a sweating mess and it feels like an inferno in my room. The blankets are making it worse so they meet the floor as I throw them off of me. My dress is now the issue. I've been wearing it for the past three days.
It's uncomfortable but it's the last thing I have of Grayson. These past couple of days have been hell. Long is what my nightmare-filled nights are. Every night it's like a broken record, repeating over and over it starts irritating you. Six hours is probably how much sleep I have in me.
For the past two days...
I get out of bed and check the time as I make my way to my bathroom. Four am. When the lights come on in the bathroom my eyes meet the reflection in the mirror. All I see as I scan my face with dried mascara all over my face is a stupid girl. How stupid could I have been? I fucked myself over here. I lead myself here.
I know what Grayson said to me was nowhere okay. He basically laughed in my face and said I was lying about Trevor raping me. It took me a good couple of hours to realize that maybe it's not all my fault. We were both hiding things, we always have been. Our lies and trust issues run deeper than the amount of chemistry we have.
...Had.
At the end of the day, it ends up being both of our faults. We both made big mistakes that doomed us to end like this.
Staring at the dress for a couple of seconds is all it takes for my anger to take over and I'm pulling the dress off my body. I put a shirt on and glare at the pooled dress on the floor before picking it up. I start speed walking out of my room, down the stairs, and into the living room. My actions have no control, they are on autopilot. I watch my own hand come out and take a match out of the box above the fireplace and toss it into the old unburned wood.
My eyes gloss in the reflection of the quickly burning wood, and it grows wider with the dress I've just tossed in like nothing. I sink to the floor, hugging my legs and setting my chin down on my knees. Watching the dress burn hurts but I can't hold onto it. I also don't want to see it in my closet so this is what I'm doing.
I never really thought there would be such a deep feeling of loneliness like this. People think the concept of being lonely is being alone for a long period of time. It isn't. it's we you finally feel there. Feel like you have people for you. Have that loved feeling in the pit of your stomach? Then someone comes and scrapes it clean. It throughs you so of course that it's like a shock. And in those moments after you've been pulled apart and gutted, confused about how you got there after feeling so cared for...
That's loneliness.
I manage to get up and up to my room again, falling onto my bed. When I turn onto my side all I find is a ghostly presence of what once was my other half. My fingers brush over the pillow used to lie on. They latch on and the pillow ends up against my face, the scent of him maiming me.
