Mischievous Function

A Game of Grown Men Using Their Long Sticks to Try to Get One Past the Goalie

Meanwhile, at the hockey arena...

"Oh, and the puck's back to #17, Cheese Block, with ten seconds on the clock! It's been 2–0 for most of the third period, but Cheese Block brought it up to 1 a minute ago! Can he do it again and bring us into overtime?!"

Lightbulb and Marker leaned forward in their seats, the latter almost dropping his tub of popcorn. "Oh, come on, COME ON!" they both cheered eagerly, eyes wide with anticipation.

"He's zooming down the ice, and—OH! Look at that spin!"

Yellow Face's and Rocky's eyes were wide open in anticipation as the former cupped his hands around his mouth and bellowed, "GO, GO, GO!"

"He left all the defenders behind him! It's just Cheese Block and the goalie now!"

Spongy and Toilet were clutching each other desperately while Barf Bag's grip on her milkshake tightened even more. "You got it! Come on!" she yelled.

"Cheese Block tries to spin around the goalie! Two seconds! One! Oh—and he shoots!"

All seven of them gasped and narrowed their eyes as they peered at the net, trying to figure out what was going on. Before any of them could, however—

BLAAAAAAAAAARE!

"OH! DENIED!" one of the commentators exclaimed, unable to contain his excitement. "#29, Shower Curtain, reaching with the stick behind his back, keeping the puck away from the crossbar, and ending the third period at 2–1! What a game, folks!"

Half of the arena erupted in roaring cheers and cries of excitement, while the other half shot back with boos and unsatisfied yells. Since most of the group didn't really know which side to root for due to not really knowing either team, they simply clapped respectfully and waited in their seats.

"A great attempt by the Lifelight Atoll Monarchs to set Cheese Block up for that last shot," the second commentator said, "but Shower Curtain once again with such a crucial block. He made a mistake earlier in the second period but managed to redeem himself and blocked the last one, and that proved to be the victory for the Cold Garden Wildfires."

"I can almost hear the breaking hearts of those watching from Lifelight Beach and the rest of the Lifelight Atoll District—you KNOW they wanted Cheese Block to make that shot. But on the other hand, fans at home, if you're in the Cold Garden District, you might want to visit your local bar. I have a feeling that someone's going to be paying for drinks all night, and it ain't gonna be you."

"Well, with a stunning score of 2–1 and with that Game 7 win against the 10-seeded Monarchs, the 9-seeded Wildfires are moving on to represent the Mountain Division in the YHL Northern Conference Finals. We'll have to wait and see who their Forest opponents will be for now, but in the meantime, let's talk about some potential Southern Conference bids. I think there are some good contenders this season—both for the Grasslands and the Desert."

"Oh, definitely. I mean, for starters, you can't talk about the Grasslands Division without talking about—"

"Spongy!"

Spongy raised an eyebrow at Barf Bag before taking his HairPods out. "Yeah?" he asked.

"We gotta go, buddy," she told him, gesturing to the other five who were already making their way out of the aisle. "Were you still listening to the commentators?"

"Yeah. I don't really know what's going on, so I like listening to them explain everything," he said as he grabbed his lettuce wrap and kale smoothie.

Lightning nudged Marker and gestured to the lines of cheering Wildfires fans making their way up the stairs. "So, uh...should we just cheer for the winners?" he asked.

Marker shrugged. "I don't know. You can do whatever, but I was rooting for CGD anyway."

"Oh. Why?"

"I have a cousin up in Cold Garden," he explained. "I figured I might as well."

Lightning gave him an absent nod as he gazed onto the ice, in particular at a spot on the boards where a player had been slammed into earlier in the game. "They get pretty nasty out there on the ice, huh?" he muttered.

"Oh, yeah," Marker replied. "You've gotta be tough, or you'll get trampled. Or I guess you could just play women's ice hockey, where body checking isn't allowed."

Yellow Face casually joined the conversation without being invited and said to Marker, "Seriously? So guys can body-check each other, but girls can't?"

"Yeah, for some reason. But if B.F.D. High ever got approved for sports and got ice hockey teams, I bet the girls would want to body check and shove each other around—probably even more than the boys would."

"Well, obviously," Yellow Face said. "Most of them could take any four of us with one hand behind their back."

Lightbulb snickered. "Imagine the catfights, though. If you think about it, they wouldn't want to wear protective equipment either. They'd probably say it restricts their movement or something."

"Yeah..." Yellow Face trailed off as Marker nodded. "All those girls body-checking each other and waving their sticks around—"

WHACK! WHACK! WHACK!

"And that's why we don't hesitate to beat you guys up," Barf Bag said with an indignant huff as the three of them all flinched forward and rubbed the now-stinging backs of their heads.

"AWRIGHT, BOYS AND GALS!" Toilet yelled to get the students' attention. "IF YA WANT SNACKS, NOW'S YOUR LAST CHANCE! I'MMA PULL THE BUS OUT FRONT! WE'RE LEAVING FOR THE HOTEL IN TEN MINUTES, WHETHER YOU'RE ON THE BUS OR NOT!"

With that, Toilet walked off toward where the stadium exit probably was as the rest of the students dispersed to get their last-minute snacks before heading out.