Mischievous Function

Burn It Down

BANG!

"Ladies, gents, and enby friends, this is a robbery!" Pillow called out as she kicked the bank doors open and shot her shotgun into the air, causing all the employees and civilians to scream and cower in fear. "And you're all going to lie down on the ground! The only question is now or after we pump lead into you, understand?"

Pie rushed into the employees-only area and pointed her pistol at everyone she could see while Pillow set the thermite in the lobby and ignited it. "You heard the woman," she called out. "Get over here with your hands up and don't try anything funny."

The two of them herded their hostages one by one behind the counter. Remote and Liy came running out of the stairwell a few moments later carrying two duffel bags full of cash each. They spotted their equipment bags sitting near a desk where Pillow had left them and dropped the cash bags near Pie and Pillow before quickly unzipping their equipment bags and scrambling to get their armor on.

"What was the package?" Pie asked as she shoved another hostage to the ground.

Remote grabbed her SMG out of her bag and loaded it. "Lots of bonds and other securities, it looks like," she shrugged. "We'll have to get someone to fence them, but I think there's some good money to be made."

"Good job, girls," Pillow said as she forced the last of the hostages behind the counter. She looked at each of her crew members and nodded in approval. "Not bad for your first bank robbery. Not bad at all—"

"OH, HELL NO!"

Pillow and Pie suddenly found themselves being strangled by the neck with one arm and guns pressed to their heads. Liy and Remote instinctively rushed over to them and pointed their guns at the two figures, creating a standoff. "Hostages feeling brave today, huh?" Liy smirked.

"Hostages, my ass!" the woman holding Pie yelled. "This is OUR fucking score! We've been planning this for weeks! We're not getting our score stolen by some rookie high school shits!"

The man holding Pillow nodded to Liy and Remote in agreement. "You kids got spirit, I'll give you that," he admitted. "But this isn't some country hick small-town bank in the middle of nowhere. This is a city bank with city cops protecting it. You go through with this, you'll get yourselves shot."

"Why don't you leave that to us, mister?" Remote scoffed. "We can handle ourselves just fine."

"Go home, kids," he warned again. "Tell you what, we'll even cover you and split the take since you robbed the bank for us."

"We're not gonna split our own take!" Liy shot back. "Besides, what could the two of you do that the four of us can't?"

The woman let out a sardonic laugh and grinned. "Oh, believe me, girlie, both of us individually can get a lot nastier than all four of you little shits combined."

"Easy on the swears, honey," the man mumbled to her. "They're from Yoyle City. Can't you tell?"

"Oh, they're Yoyles?" She scoffed and shook her head mockingly before putting on a patronizingly sweet voice. "Well, what the hey are you four snowflakes robbing a bank all the way up here in Slalom for? Don't you have some pride parade or anime convention to go to? Y'all's hair's already looking like a rainbow anyway! Hey, I hear that cartoon Tetra Team Dream Machine got greenlit for a second season!" She giggled again before her eyes lit up. "Hey, hey, you know what? Forget the cash! We'll buy all you kids a free pizza if you get out right now—if any of you can even sit in the chairs properly! Makes sense that you all wouldn't be able to sit straight, anyway, and finger guns do suit you softies more than real ones! Ha-ha!"