Mischievous Function

On the Subject of Being an Inexperienced Goofy Setback

Special Thanks: Trota123 — Grammar Revisions (I suck at Spanish lol, thanks bud)

At Yoyle Mountain...

"Have fun, guys!" Two called out before clapping his hands twice and teleporting up to a blue run. Just like the day before, the ski group waddled across the hill toward Snowboard, the ski instructor, while the snowboard group stayed near Ski, the snowboard instructor.

"All right, guys," Ski said, turning to her group and nodding. "Strap in. Remember what I showed you yesterday!"

While the other snowboarders laid their snowboards on the hill and started clearing their highbacks and straps, Bomb shivered and looked around the hill. "G-g-g-g-g-g-g-g-g-g-g-geez, it's c-c-c-c-c-c-c-c-c-c-c-c-c-cold..." he shuddered, re-adjusting his scarf and rubbing his hands together while laying his snowboard on the ground.

Pickle glanced over to him and smirked as he ratcheted down his ankle strap. "Careful there, buddy," he said, lightly shoving Bomb in the shoulder. "Or you might get yourself in another one-man Veytan downhill to the bottom!"

"Sh-sh-sh-shut up," Bomb muttered back, sliding his front foot into the binding. "I-it w-w-w-w-w-was c-c-c-c-cement yesterday, and you know it."

Pickle grinned and patted Bomb on the shoulder twice. "Whatever you say, Bomb," he called out as he idly skated around the vicinity and waited for everyone else to finish strapping in.

Meanwhile, Tennis Ball finished strapping his feet in and looked up to nod at Ski. "Ready," he said as he glided over to her.

Golf Ball noticed that he was already gliding away and hurriedly strapped in her front foot before unsteadily skating after him. "W-wait, Tennis Ball!" she called out, causing him to look back over his shoulder. "Are you already riding?"

"Yeah," Ski answered as she glided over to the two of them. "He's actually really good at snowboarding already. Well, for a beginner, that is." She glanced at him and raised an eyebrow, making sure that Tennis Ball's ego wasn't going to be too inflated for only his second day on the hill. "He's a natural!"

"...Oh."

Golf Ball looked down at her own snowboard for a second before bending down to adjust her back binding. "Well...let me ride, too, then! If he can do it, then I should be able to do it, too."

Tennis Ball and Ski looked at each other nervously before Ski reached out to stop Golf Ball. "U-uh, that...might not be a good idea yet."

"Why not?" she huffed. "I was able to handle skating pretty well yesterday! Why shouldn't I be able to ride with you two?"

"Because you're an inexperienced goofy setback, that's why."

Golf Ball gasped and her eyes widened for a second. Then, she gritted her teeth and balled her fists as she shuffled over to Ski. "What did you just call me?" she growled, one hand already reaching into her jacket for her futuristic pistol.

Ski screamed and scurried behind Tennis Ball, clutching his arm fearfully as the latter held out an arm to try and placate Golf Ball. "Whoa, whoa, easy there, GB!" he chuckled nervously as he gently laid a hand on her arm. "It's okay! That—that's not an insult!"

"In what world would calling me an 'inexperienced goofy setback' not be an insult?!"

"In the snowboarding world!" Tennis Ball let out a sigh and nodded downward, gesturing for her to look down at her feet. "Look. Your right foot is in front, closer to me, and your left foot is behind you. Riding with your right foot in front and your left in back is called riding goofy. In contrast, riding regular is with those two reversed: left in front, right in back. The reason for this is that your dominant foot should be behind you for power and steering control while your off-foot should be in front for balance. Since most people are right-handed, the stance with the right foot back and the left in front is called regular. But people have their own preferences; some can ride just as well goofy as regular, and some even do better with goofy footing. And look at where your bindings are on your board; they're closer to the tail than the nose. That's called setback stance. When your bindings are an equal distance from the tail and the nose, that's called centered. Centered is good for riding switch and the park, but you're not good enough at snowboarding for either of those—and, to be fair, I'm probably not, either."

"But," Ski chimed in, "centered is nonetheless more recommended for beginners than setback is, which makes me curious: why do you ride setback?"

Golf Ball furrowed her eyebrows and shrugged. "I don't know. I've never heard of this whole regular, goofy, centered stuff before. I just had Dora set my snowboard stuff up for me yesterday."

"GB, Dora's a freerider!" Tennis Ball groaned and shook his head. "Didn't you see how fast she charged those chutes yesterday? Of course she rides setback! And even she rides centered when she freestyles in the park or wants to ride switch!"

"I—what—huh?!" Golf Ball stomped her foot angrily and demanded, "What are you even saying? How do you even know all of this while I don't?!"

"I told him yesterday," Ski explained. "Over dinner. It's just some of the more basic stuff, really. You'll pick up on it as you get better."

While Golf Ball continued to glare at Ski suspiciously, Tennis Ball cupped his hands around his mouth and called out, "Dora!"

"Qué?" she called back before gliding over to him.

"Ajusta las fijaciones de tabla de nieve a 'centrado' para ella, por favor," he said, gesturing down to Golf Ball's snowboard. "Es solo una principiante."

"¿Eh? ¿Una principiante?" she asked with a surprised face. "¿Por qué dijiste que eras un as en esto entonces?" She flicked her hand away from Golf Ball, gesturing for her to move. "Bájate."

"Sabes lo mucho que ella valora su orgullo," Tennis Ball sighed before turning to Golf Ball. "Strap out," he told her. "She'll adjust it."

Golf Ball stared incredulously at Tennis Ball for a few moments before Dora's impatient grunt prompted her to bend down and release her straps. As she backed up and watched Dora get to work, she noticed Tennis Ball and Ski turning around to line up with the fall line. "¿Puedes quedarte con ella un rato, por favor?" Tennis Ball asked. "Solo asegúrate de que no se haga daño."

Dora whirled around to face him and threw her hands up in frustration. "¡¿Quieres que haga de canguro?!" she yelled.

"¡Solo por un rato!" he called back as he and Ski took off down the hill. "¡Hasta que vuelva aquí arriba! ¡Gracias!"

Dora let out another scoff of unbelief before turning back to the board and continuing to adjust Golf Ball's bindings. "Hijo de puta..." she thought to herself as she finished and stood up. "Estás lista."

"Thanks," Golf Ball muttered bitterly, still staring off after the two as she shuffled closer to her board.

"Solo empieza patinando," she warned. "El exceso de confianza en la colina puede matarte."

Golf Ball bent down to strap herself in, brushing Dora away from her. "Don't worry about me. I got it."

Dora scoffed and threw her hands up one more time before skating off. "Bueno, yo intentaba ser amable. Vete a la mierda y muérete, perra. Es el último maldito favor que te hago."