how long will we live?

10.

I open my eyes and next to me is her. She is lying next to me with her long brown hair half lying on my pillow. Her eyes closed, I look at her beautiful face from her eyes down to her lips with her small mole across the upper lip. She opens her eyes and I lose myself briefly in those beautiful green brown eyes. I lose myself so much that I feel like I am in a forest. I am standing in the middle of a forest. With my feet I feel the dry ground. I look around and see the beautiful big green trees everywhere. They are so big and have green leaves that you can hardly see the sky. I take a breath and close my eyes and enjoy the fresh forest air for a short moment. I never want to out of this forest again. Out of the forest in which I lost myself so much in her eyes that it seems real.

I am snapped out of my dream by a "Good morning!" I open my eyes and see someone next to me, but that someone is not her.
I see in front of me a blond haired girl who has green eyes. She reminds me of her. I think that's also the reason why I slept with her could just imagine it being her.
"You look worried." She addresses me.
I don't know why, but I couldn't help but feel disgusted. Disgusted with me, disgusted with her, and disgusted with what I did. I also feel a slight guilt, a guilt that says, "what if I hurt her." I shake head to clear my mind, then jump out of bed and I can't help but look at her with disdain.
"Repeat needed!" she says, smiling.
"No!"
"Why?"
I just look at her with more contempt now, as she sits there in my bed, wearing only my covers.
She looks like she's about to cry.
"I thought there was something between us!" she screams and looks down.
"Why?!"
"You treated me like I've never been treated before!"
"Go!"
She gets up quickly and gets dressed and grabs the rest of her clothes and runs outside.

I go to my shelf and am about to think when I hear a voice.
Annoyed, I turn around and tease her because I think it's the girl from just now. I turn around and look into the eyes I was dreaming of half an hour ago.
"What are you doing here?" I ask confused.
She wanted to say thank you for saving her life.
I don't know what happened but I was so annoyed that I yelled at her.
I turn around in shame because I can't look her in the eyes. I know for a fact that I hurt her.
We were arguing over such an incredibly unimportant matter.
I only really turn around when I hear that she's gone.
You could hear she was crying.
I don't know why but she's the only person I care about and I don't understand why.

Why she?

But I also know that we can't be happy together.
I would just keep hurting her.
I couldn't take it.