Happy Little Phil, Take Dan Away // Phan

Part twenty-one

(A/N: This chapter has mentions of rape and abuse, so if you're uncomfortable with that, skip please so you're not uncomfortable and I'll explain what happens in the chapter. ily xx)

Evan's POV

I took a deep breath. Never did I think I would tell anyone but here Dan was, waiting for me to say it all.

He was sitting on a chair across from me whilst I was sitting on the sofa.

I truly wanted to apologize this time for everything but when he came over and asked about my past, I felt vulnerable and weak.

"Ok." I mumbled. Dammit, I hated Dan for asking me to tell him but I also wanted to tell him so I could finally have someone know.

"I'm sorry, this must be difficult for you. Take your time, I'm in no rush." Dan assured me and I nodded.

"No ones ever bothered asking me about my life so this is all kind of new... but I'm glad you asked me, I feel like it's about time I told someone." I said quietly.

I took another deep breath before starting.

"Ok... so, my mum was an absolute slut, I'm not even going to sugarcoat it. Every week, she would bring a new man home and I don't even know where she kept finding new boys. She didn't care about me, she would always treat me like a dog and so would her partners. I'm starting with this because it's pretty much how it all started. I was nine years old, I was a clueless little boy. My mum brought home this big scary guy and told me he was going to take care of me whilst she went on a fucking road trip with her boyfriend. I thought it was okay because the guy was nice at first, he actually cooked me food, he actually let me watch tv, he actually seemed to care. I thought it was amazing so I became close with him and after the first day, all I remember is walking out of the shower and calling his name because I couldn't find a towel.

"He came up stairs and told me to open the door fully so he could see me. I was so stupid and I did as told. God, the look on his face was disgusting, the way he was looking at me, at my body... I asked for a towel and he told me I wouldn't need one then took me to my mum's room... that's where I lost it all. My trust in people, my faith in adults, my childhood.. my virginity. Everything.

"He was supposed to be staying for a week with me and in that week, I felt more alone and lost then I have ever felt in my life. He would rape me whenever he felt like it and if I tried running away, he would tie me to the bed, naked, and hit me, punch me, slap me, torture me. He would still cook for me and shit but that didn't make me feel okay. Nothing did.

"My mum seemed to notice I was more timid and paranoid than usual but never did anything. She never did shit. It was always 'Evan, stop being sacred of everything you stupid prick.' and I would just cry. She'd get so angry and hit me. It was awful. She never accepted me or who I was, especially when I came out as gay when I was thirteen. She told me it was stupid and started to brag about how she would always have someone to love her and I'd never have that. I was jealous and I did try to become straight and like girls but it just didn't work.

"I'm a slut myself I guess, in a boy way because I've been in 15 other relationships but it was all to try and make her jealous and to try and feel love. I need did feel love or make her jealous. Then Chris and PJ introduced me to you and Phil and I only cared about making you jealous then because you were obviously madly in love with Phil and I honestly regret it but Phil... When I dated him, I actually felt the love I never got and it's why I wanted you to stay away. I wanted to keep the love Phil was giving to me because it's something I never got. I'm so sorry for beating you up... I'm such a dick, none of this is fair to you. I wish I could change the past. I'm so sorry. I noticed Phil was in love with you too, it was also quite obvious. I'm so glad you two are together and happy now. You two are meant to be together. I probably deserve to be alone and unloved. At least I got a little love for two months..."

I didn't notice I was crying until I finished and I completely broke down when my voice cracked at the end.

I hated my life, I hated that big scary guy that did this to me, I hated my mum and all the boys she dated. I hated it all.

"I... Oh my God, Evan I am so so sorry. I didn't know... I would have never guessed that. I'm so sorry." Dan looked at my with pity and sad eyes and I cried even more.

"All I ever wanted was to be loved." I sobbed. "I'm so sorry about all this, I didn't want this to happen. I don't want you guys to hate me, I want you four in my life. I've never had friends and now that I do, I messed it up. I'm so sorry, I really am."

Dan sat beside me and put an arm around me. "We aren't leaving. Phil's just mad at you but I'll explain to him. We will be with you till the end, ok? And don't worry, you will find love. When you do, you'll feel so much better. I promise, things are going to lighten up. You are loved by us. I mean, it's not the same kind of love but it's a friendship kind of love."

I smiled at him through tears. "I never thought someone like you would be here for me."

"I didn't either but I'm here. Just calm down, fix yourself up and let's go to my place. Phil also needs an explanation."

I nodded but before getting up, I hugged him tightly. I never did hug people but Dan just helped me and made me feel so much better, I felt the need to hug him.

He hugged me back and ran his hand up and down my back comfortingly.

"Thanks, Dan."

Phil's POV

Might as well go in now that I was here.

I opened the door to Evan's place which was unlocked and walked in, looking for Dan and Evan.

I found the living room and saw Evan in Dan's arms... Were they kissing?

I felt my heart shatter the same way it did last night. But Dan... he wouldn't do that to me. Would he?

Without making a sound, I turned around and walked out, softly closing the door behind me before letting my tears fall.

I thought about it all. When Evan and I were dating, Dan would walk out of the restaurant we were in or excuse himself and Evan would alway follow... they always looked tired and out of breath when they came back.

Were Evan and Dan a thing this whole time? Every time Dan told me that I needed to break up with Evan... was it so they could be together?

My head started to hurt and I saw it all clearly now. Did they think I was that stupid?

"Well, I hope you two are happy." I snapped under my breath and walked home, already planning on where I would leave to.

*******

IM BACK ON TRACK WOOP WOOP IM SO EXCITED ABOUT THIS YAY ALSO THIS WAS LONGER I THINK SO YAY TO THAT

Plot twist!!!!! I think - plot twist was it a plot twist !!????? YOU TELL ME IDK

I LOVE YOU SO MUCH AND ILL SEE YA NEX TIME WITH MORE SURPRISES :D

BYYEEEE cx