Shadow Butcher (LokixAvengersxOC)

Love, Grief and a new Mission

But I guess with Loki, it can be different. He's not human but a God. Yes, not of the same pantheon as me and maybe I should reconsider Frigga's words. To accept changes and to accept my fulfillment. Both of us can be better together.

The huge grin falters quickly after he thought about something. The smile turns into a frown and I can see his eyes are stained with tears. Even if he tilts his head to the side and blinks them away.

"Loki, what's wrong?"

He chuckles heartlessly and turns around to focus back on me. "I have just realized mother will never attend one of her sons' wedding. It was her most desired wish."

Yeah, my heart has just shattered. My mind ran wild with scenarios of how cheerful and joyful she would have been seeing her sons get married with the love of their lives. The way she would plan the ceremony was one of the biggest feasts ever since Frigga's and Odin's marriage. Way bigger than a coronation probably. The way she would join the journey of the bride picking up the dress, and cake and how she probably would mend in the bride's and groom's wish into the ceremony. As she told me once, tradition can be put together. Or how she would calm Thor's and Loki's nerves before they headed towards the hall and waited for their future bride to come.

Frigga would have been a great mother-of-law.

"I'm so sorry, Loki. Can I do anything for you?" I ask him while pulling him into a hug and he reacts rapidly by melting into my arms.

He takes a deep breath, a relaxing one, and snuggles into the crook of my neck while caressing my back, holding me tight.

"After her being gone, I do not wish to lose you either. Stay here with me, you are the only reason for keeping me sane. That is all I beg for, my dear."

I breathe out through my nose and hold him closer too. I nod my head and add, "Of course. But are you alright, my prince?"

He fakes a smile, I can tell since his eyes still have sadness behind them.

"How can I be not when tonight was the day where I claimed you?"

I giggle like a desperate little girl who wants to hear those kinds of praises. But I would lie if I said I didn't want to hear those words. I may be bold when I say, that every woman wishes to hear those words from their lover, or am I wrong?

"Then let's go to bed then, my king. It had been a long day for both of us. Sleep will help," I suggest instead.

Loki slowly pulls away and nods. I get up and pull him with me toward his bedroom. Without exchanging any words, we undress and get into bed. If it weren't for the situation, I would laugh at how quickly we had agreed on a relationship and now we go to sleep together. Arm in arm as if both of us are afraid of losing our partner in the deep sea. If I knew beforehand how calming it can be to fall asleep into a person's loving arm, I would have confessed my feelings to Loki a lot earlier.

☥ ☥ ☥

Whenever I fall asleep by my choice, I wake up with one of those nightmares that feel very realistic as if I set back the time and relieve my worst fear. Once again it was about me in the afterworld where I face my faceless father who holds me in his huge paw with his extended claw which holds me in a cage. Looking down at my trembling hands, I see them all covered up in crimson-colored blood.

The blood of all the innocent souls I kept in their corpses, not letting them take their path into the afterworld. And all of this because of me.

With weak knees, I step up, holding on to his claws, I beheld the view outside my cage. Instead of my homeland, I rewatch the scenarios of all the innocent humans that fall dead on the ground. How the bullet or sword pierces through their skulls or hearts, the red fluid spurting out of their dying bodies.