The Dread Joy

How do I live without you?

I brushed the feather to my cheeks . I felt a strange vibration. I put that feather on its place .

While combing my hair I was lost into the thoughts of the angel who saved me .I murmured, "How a man can be so gentle ! He was different from the men I met in my long life of twenty four years . "

I uttered in a surprised expression, "The black wings , those are not dreadful . The black wings, I am not afraid of . The black wings which gave me warmth . "

I guess ,"I have fallen for those black wings . May be I have fallen for him !

My eyes escaped the reality . In my eyes there an image of him . I wish he come to see me some day . While thinking about him , I went to the wardrobe to choose outifit . I took out blue pants , and blue t shirt and black coat .

"Well , Mr . Black ! You are my favorite . So I am gonna wear you today . Any objections ?"

The outfit was making me feel confident . I steped out of the home to get into my car . Angelina called me , " Take Care Darla ! " It had been so long when someone told me to take care . I could not explain how happy I was when I saw angelina yesterday . I could feel I am not alone now . I would not be alone anymore . There is someone to stand by me . I know in some phase of my life I loved her romantically .

May be that was the reason why I was so happy . That phase was beautiful like a newly picked rose from the garden . But that rose is destined to dry up and die one day .

So was my love for her . She never loved me back . She left me alone that day .

Ohh , Evelyn ! Forget these things . You both are best friends , like you were years ago .

Tears rolled down on my cheeks . I smiled at her and went away .

"May be she has noticed my tears ! But I don't want her to realize this . She is still close to my heart . Even if she had hurted in the past . It was not her fault . She never intended to do so . "

I reached office . I sat down on my chair . As I was about to call Micheal . He came there. He came to me . He bowed infront of me , "Good Morning Madame ! "

I replied , Good Morning Micheal ! How have you been ? "

Micheal replied hesitantly ,"Madame! I have been doing well . But there is nothing well in the firm . Since the day you lost your parents, the darkness covered our performance. "
I replied worriedly, Micheal ! But In my absence there was Alice to make up for that . "
Micheal replied in a whispering voice , "She only intended to take over your position. "

"Thank to Oliver Smith sir ! He came just after you went . "

I replied ," Now I have come . I will be ensuring the performances as per plans . "

"Well , Micheal ! I joined back two days ago . You were on leave, I guess! "

Micheal stated "Yes Madame ! I was about to inform you regarding this . "

"Actually , I am getting married to my girl friend . I was busy in making arrangements . "

While telling this , his cheeks turned red . He was feeling shy .

I replied ," Congratulations Micheal ! Am I not invited in your wedding ? "

"Micheal invited apologetically, "Madame! You are most welcome there !"

After he left , I was trying to figure out what happened in the absence .

"It looks like Alice was planning something against the company . "

After some time , I went near the window of the cabin to feel refreshing. I was standing there leaning on the window of my cabin .

I closed my eyes to feel the love my love showers on me . There were dark clouds all over . They were covering the magical beauty of the blue crystal sky .

But I was amazed at the sight of it . The dark clouds were kinda portal to the world I always wished to visit . I wished to jump off the window and get there .

The cool breeze began to blow . I was enjoying the wheather . Suddenly something touched my forehead . It had a watery touch . "Ohh !Great ! It is raining now . "

It made me feel like dancing . I wished I had wings . "I would fly all over the sky . I would have dancing with the wind ."

I opened my eyes It wasn't raining .Well , I decided I should go back to my desk . There is a lot of paper work pending .

As I turned back to go to my desk . I saw there was a blood spot on my left hand .

The blood stain shocked me . I could feel something was going wrong . My breaths went high . I began to feel dizzy . As I was about to faint and fall down .

I felt someone holding my waist . He took me in his arms . I slept off peacefully . I felt as if I was under deep water . But my mind was fighting to live . I did not want to die . I am afraid to die . There was a fight going on mentally .

Suddenly , I heard a sound that was similar to the cries of mine . In front of me I saw myself crying near the dead bodies of my family and my love .

After few minutes or so , I opened my eyes. I was on the chair . My breaths were high . I was panting . He was standing besides me . I was looking at him . He was looking at me . The sight of him made me calm .

He stated , "Gabriel , In your service madame? Well, You are recommended to take rest by Dr. Gabriel.

I replied ," Sure Dr . I will take rest and recover soon ." I requested him , "Please Dr , Go away from here . If you wanna meet me , u can do so in my bedroom . "

He agreed ," Sure Madame Evelyn . "

I smiled at him . He smiled back . He set to the sky and flew away .

I was seeing him going away . He diaappeared somewhere in the sky.

"May be he hid himself behind the clouds !"I stated merrily .

In his memories , I asked myself ," How do I tell you , how I love you ? How do I live just in memories of you ? How do I call you ? How do I ?