IDK: I Do Know (Cate Blanchett Fan Fiction)

Told You Sooner

Cate Blanchett POV:

I was afraid to let he go last night. I was about to tell her that it would be okay for her to stay for the night, have the bed separated--- I just wanted to make sure that she was close to me because she was not clearly okay and having to think about her far will kill me.

But somehow, I didn't get to convince her. But, after all the acting in live tv and the ignoring behind the camera, Chris managed to say thank you last night and that warmed my heart.

Lying on bed, I was looking up the ceiling, thinking about of I should be texting her goodnight or even text her if she ever needs someone, she can text me-- but there was also a gut inside me not to try anymore because she is clearly enough with me already. Making an effort is useless...

But what if she is waiting for me to send a message?

What if she really needs me---

*Ding* My phone received a notification. I immediately got up and checked on the message and it was from her. I opened it and the message said, 'Thank you for today. Thank you for listening and thank you for being there. See you tomorrow.'

That enough calmed me. But...

Tomorrow will be the last day that I will be seeing her. She will be heading back to New York already and as much as I wish for her to come with me, she doesn't want me anymore.
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There was this delicious salad in the buffet and I have been delving into that for the past few minutes. I need to eat a lot because I do have a long flight to go and even though there are going to be meals in between, airplane food is not filling.

I was waiting in the hotel's restaurant, hoping and waiting for her to appear. A message from her was seen on my phone and it was the ticket that she forwarded. My ticket for Sussex. 'Sorry that I had to process the ticket just now. Got you in the low class. Sorry and Have a safe flight, Cate!'

Of course, no problem. Thanks and have a safe flight as well.

Damn. How fake of me for me to easily let her go? I really had her in my hands and I even get the chance to hear her words, wanting me to be hers--- but fucking mind really messed me up. If this whole wedding did not happen, we would be happily okay right now.

"Do you mind me sitting next to you? I don't think there are no longer available seats," I heard. I looked up and it was her.

Chris had her hair down and then she had a plate of the same salad I had. She also had some fresh fruits, a cup of coffee and some bread. What she ate did not matter to me anymore because I am still processing the fact that she is here.

"I thought your flight is earlier?" I asked her.

I saw a sly smirk on her face.

"I cancelled my flight last night when I sent you that thank you message because I processed two flights to Sussex," she replied. "Then I forgot to process the second one for you which I did just early this morning. Do you want me to---"

I immediately stopped her. "No. Join me."

Chris looked up back at me and then smiled. "Okay, I'll join you but do let me finish this meal because that wine really made me hungry."
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On the Flight to Sussex

As much as that I am very happy that she is coming with me to my place, there is a middle aged man sitting between us on the flight. There was nothing much that we could do about it because the flight was scheduled late.

She looked at me from her side and mouthed, sorry.

The kind and childish facade she had made me smile.

I just went ahead and pulled out my earphones because I could not even have a proper conversation with her. This is my time to sleep because I did lack sleep.

As there were beautiful jazz songs played, I could feel her eyes fixed on me. I went ahead and took off the other earphone and I started to hear her getting restless... Until she came to a point that she confronted the man between us. "Uh... Excuse me, sir. Can we switch?"

The man spoke. "I'm sorry but why? This is not your seat and maybe the stewardess will put us down."

"As if the stewardess can drop us off in mid-air," she replied. Her fucking responses made me laugh. "Please sir."

I had to enter. "We can wait till the end of the flight for that interesting conversation of yours, Chris. Don't rush---"

"It can't wait," she replied.

I didn't know what to do so I went ahead and placed my earphones back on and then as I looked over to my side, she managed to have the man switch seats. She is now sitting next to me and the urgency in her eyes got me fixated.

Chris pulled away my earphones which did piss me off. She has been explaining to me that this can't wait and so I was waiting for her this time to speak.

"What is it, Chris? Why can't this wait?" I said.

"I'm sorry," she said with her holding my hand.

The man at the side spoke. "She fucking asked to switch seats just for her to fuckin say sorry---"

"It's more than that so shut up, you old man--- didn't mean to call you that but you do look old," she said to him and then she went back to me. "I really am sorry. "

"Hey. Why the heck are you apologizing?" I asked her.

Chris takes a deep breathe. "For everything. All you have done to me is kindness and ever since you found me in some fucked up place, all you did was help me. All I did was ignore and be arrogant and now, since because there is something between us, it's my fault that we are apart. I wish I should have told you sooner. "

"Told me sooner?" I asked because she was leaving me hanging. "What do you mean---"

"That I love you."