texting » jolinsky

45

|| JG ||

I haven't spoken to Jack in a whole week. And it's been killing me inside. I miss him so much, but I can't just go back to him. I practically dumped him and it wasn't gentle, it was pretty harsh. He wouldn't just take me back. And, you know what? I have to live with that. I have to move on because, as Jack said, there will be others.

I've stayed in my room this whole week. Maybe I've left to take a shower once in a couple days, but for the most part I've stayed in my room. My parents are starting to get annoyed. The only reason I moved back was to spend time with them, and now I'm too upset with life to even leave my room.

Molly's home, and she often comes in to speak with me. My parents, though they are annoyed, come in and try to make me feel better often. I love my family, but nothing can erase what I did. And my consequences are not seeing Jack. Ever again. I wish it weren't the case. But it is.

I hear a knock on the door and I say, "Come in."

I see Molly's head peek through the door, and she walks in.

"Hey, little bro!" She smiles widely, sitting next to me.

"Hi," I say, keeping a straight face.

"I'm worried about you, Jack..." She says.

"There's nothing to be worried about. I'm fine," I say.

"That's a lie, Jack. I'm actually worried. Mom and Dad are too. I... I think you're depressed."

I scoff. "Molly, stop. I am not depressed."

She has no evidence. She doesn't know about the two times I tried to kill myself, she can't say that.

"They have medicine for that, and doctors who specialize in depression and anxiety. Jack, I want to take you to a psychologist or something," She says, placing one of her small hands on my arm.

I shake my head. "You sound crazy, Mol. I'm fine... I mean I'm sad but I am not clinically depressed!"

"Fine. Sorry. Now that that is out of the way... I have one more thing to tell you. Please don't be mad," She says.

"What."

She sighs. "Jack is downstairs. I brought him, I-"

"Molly! What the hell is your problem! You can't do that!" I yell.

"Keep your voice down!" She yells back.

I roll my eyes. "She said while yelling."

"Ugh, whatever. Look, I brought him here because I am sick of you just moping around. And even if he didn't want to come and I had to beg him, I really-"

"Molly!" I exclaim, quieter this time. "He didn't want to come? Why would you make him?"

"Because," She says, "I really believe that you two can work this out."

"There's no point..." I tell her.

"You want to break up on a good note, not a bad one. Right?" She asks, raising her eyebrow.

"Two weeks before he's off to California, Molly," I remind her.

She takes my hands into hers. "Jack, it kills me to see you like this. Just... talk to him, please? I know you want to talk to him, otherwise I wouldn't be asking you to. Please."

I stand up. "Okay. But there's a 99.9 percent chance that it's gonna backfire and he's gonna hate me more than he already does."

"Stop," She says, "Go talk to him."

I give her a nervous smile and walk out of my room.

As I walk down the stairs, I find myself gripping the railing very tightly. So tightly, my knuckles practically turn white.

I see that beautiful blonde boy sitting on my living room couch. His gaze his distant; almost like he was looking into space. His bottom lip is between his teeth, and his left leg is bouncing up and down.

He's so lost, he doesn't notice when I sit down next to him.

I place my hand on his bouncing leg and he gasps softly, looking up at me. "You scared me."

"S-Sorry," I stutter. Damn it.

A couple seconds go by, and I find myself interested in the pattern on the ceiling.

I feel Jack's hand fumble with my fingers, before he intertwines them with his. I squeeze his hand tightly, running my thumb gently.

"I..." He begins.

"You don't have to say anything," I tell him.

He looks down at our hands, and the corners of his mouth turn up.

That small smile just made my entire world. And I realize one thing. Distance and time are nothing at all for me and Jack. It would seem ridiculous to anyone else but us. I'll put it like this: If we are truly soul mates, we have nothing to be afraid of. And I know for a fact that Jack Johnson is my soul mate.

My thoughts are interrupted by sobs. I look over at Jack to see him crying softly.

"Aw, Jack..." I say quietly, pulling him close to me and wrapping my arms around him.

"I'm scared," He cries.

"We're gonna be okay," I assure him, rubbing his back gently. I kiss the top of his head.

He sighs, sniffs, and rests his head on my chest.

"I promise you, we will be okay," I tell him.

He shakes his head. "How do you know that?"

I kiss his cheek. "You're the one. Jack Johnson, you are the only one for me. And I... I am just so lucky to had have you in my life at all. I am the luckiest person alive to have been yours for a single moment. I love you so damn much, Jack."

He has a smile on his face. He brings his hand to my cheek and wipes away my tears with his thumb. "Please don't cry."

I smile, leaning in. "It's tears of joy."

He laughs softly, kissing me.

We both pull away slowly, and I see that he's crying now.

He sighs. "Tears of joy."

At that moment, I hug him tighter than I have ever before.

"I will always care for you," I tell him. "Even if we're not together and even if we're far, far away from each other. I love you so much."

Jack has helped me through so much. I don't think he will ever realize how much I love him. He was my first love. And I pray that he will be my last.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

kind of a different style of writing, idk if you noticed though but i tried.

this book is literally sooooooooo close to being done OMG AHH

after it's done i'll probably have you guys choose from the books i'm currently writing (all of them are jolinsky oops)

so it's 12:52 am and it was supposed to be watching movies all night with my best friend/boyfriend but he fell asleep cause he's a loser haha so i thought i would update. sorry it's kind of short. or is it? idk.

love you all so much. mwah :*