Modified Devil

23. Shruti

Trigger Warning 🔞 -: This chapter contains sexual content which might be unsuitable to some readers.

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Dear Diary

Today , Tanmay uncle did something which I personally did not like at all . He shouldn't have said things that hurt crystal because her family is a very sensitive topic for her . Although abhi took her somewhere and he'll take care of her , I know. Still, I feel guilty . Plus , I had a blind date today . I didn't t go. I hate to admit but my heart aches on the thought of hurting shiv. I sound stupid but this is who I am . I always feel I can bring him back . Probably I'm just fooling myself around. I've started seeing him like a "guy" and it's shocking how dirty my mind can think of him , Shivay Raichand!!!! I must be the most depraved human being on earth if I admit that imagining him before sleeping, while bathing , while I'm alone , I get all sorts of thoughts I shouldn't have but if I don't admit , it would be a lie . I don't want to go because shiv is

A loud thud makes my spine jerk straight as I almost snap the pen in my hand into two . My heart bangs againt my chest as my eyes fall on his gorgeous face .

"Stop breaking into my room, you ar---" I whisper yell .

"You didn't GO!!! " he almost yells. "Heartbeat you didn't go to that asshole " he rushes towards me and cages me into his arms . Meanwhile I slide my diary under the blanket.

"I--didn't feel like going "

"Next time tell my asshole father to fuck off "

"Shiv " I slap my hand on his chest .

"God , I was so vexed and anxious. I would literally murder him and spend my entire life behind the bars after ruining your uncle's career "

That's exactly what I thought .

He pulls away and a grin comes on his full lips making my toes curl .

"What are you hiding from me heartbeat " his hand goes under the blanket and he grabs my journal snatching it away .

"Shiv, no ! This is very personal " I try to take it back but I'm zero in front of his strength .

"Nothing is personal between you and me baby" he digs two fingers in my shorts" not even what is behind this "

My cheeks heat up as I try to avoid eye contact with him pushing his hand away .

"You don't even know how much I've wanted to read you " he talks to my journal .

"This is wrong " I yelp .

"Shh" he flips the pages and stops at today's entry . As his eyes roam on the page my heart beats like a drum.

His lips curve up in a smirk while my heart sinks to my stomach. Shit ! What did I write today !

"Fuck ! That made me hard " he looks at me and I turn my head away with shame "what are you gonna do about it baby" he whispers near my ear.

"Shut up and Give it back" I say and he flips the pages.

"Hmm" he starts reading it out aloud " dear Diary, today I attended kai's engagement . Oh yes , I missed Dev's important day . " he sighs " I really have an urge to cry because I miss shiv during family functions " his smirk falls and he turns the pages again "dear Diary I had an amazing day with friends but Shiv isn't here so nothing makes me completely happy, when is he gonna retu--" he turns the pages as fast as he can with no expression on his face " dear Diary, I miss shiv so mu---" he flips the page again "dear Diary please, I just wanna say , shiv come back already---- Fuck!!! " he throws the journal away and pulls me towards his chest instantly. " I'm here baby, I'm right here " he caresses my back as I try my best to stop myself from breaking down .

"I'm so sorry " he holds me tight .

"Are you really here ? "

"I am , I am and you don't know how much I've missed you "

"No you didn't and you aren't even here , you are not " I push him away "a cold hearted devil who hates me is all I see ." A tear slides down my cheek.

"This is me " he deadpans .

"No, you--- why did you go " my voice breaks .

"Don't cry " he protestes .

"Why did you go shiv ? You could have studied here "

"Ask your uncle "

"He won't tell me "

"Then take a fucking hint " his voice is louder.

I pick up my phone and type a text to uncle that I'll go to the date but he snatches my phone away .

"Don't infuriate me SHRU!! " he deadpans .

"Then tell me " I cross my arms in front of chest .

"After this " he pulls me close and his lips crash on mine . "I always knew you think the same " he smirks panting " you want me as much as I want you, do you not, good girl ?"

"N-no" I shift away but he grabs my waist from inside my shirt . His hands feel cold on my skin making me shiver.

"Liar" he clicks his tongue and sucks at the hollow of my neck . I throw my head back wrapping my legs around him.

"I want to listen the truth not your lies " he bites and sucks at my sensitive skin before one swift motion with which he removes my lower clothes.

"You know , th-is is wrong , this is so wrong " I have to whisper because my mum can be standing outside but that won't stop shiv today. Nobody can stop him.

He trails kisses on my thighs before parting my legs .

"You can keep lying forever heartbeat, I won't mind "

"Ohh fuck !!" I see white light as a current travels up my body once he burries his head between my thighs .

Arching my spine , I squeeze my eyes with my head thrown back .

He licks and sucks making my legs shiver under his grip.

I remember it's the same room where I used to make crafts with him , play video games , pillow fights , eat , dance and what not .

It's not a good image for me to remember us as kids right now. I had never ever imagined , not even during teenage that this guy will be my first.

Even if I don't want him ......!!!