Over Each Ruins (Virago Series #2)

unveil what's endless

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CHAPTER THIRTY-TWO
unveil what's endless
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It finally arrived. The day when Novan's family party will be held. Although, most days flew too fast and Novan and I had already formed a bond, I am still really nervous now that I'm going to attend this party. Lalong-lalo na rin dahil makikita ko ang ama niya at ipapakilala ako ni Tita Selene sakanya.

"God, ija. You really are a beauty!" Pumalakpak si Dr. Vania pagkatapos akong make-upan ng hinire niyang makeup and hair crew.

Gaya ko ay tapos na rin siya sa lahat kaya heto siya at manghang-mangha habang nakatingin sa'kin, ganu'n din ang crew members na halos hindi magkandauga-uga kanina.

Ngumiti ako at nagpasalamat bago tinignan ang sarili sa salamin.

Habang nagmamasid ay hindi ko maiwasang kabahan ulit dahil nabanggit nga ni Tita Selene noong nakaraan na ipapakilala niya ako sa ama ni Novan, hindi bilang doktor kung hindi bilang kaniig ng anak niya.

My heart is racing at the mere thought of it. It was enough to send me to both oblivion and pit of fall. Tita Selene is just really impatient, marahil dahil malapit na siya bumalik sa Austria at ayaw niyang iwanan kami ni Novan nang hindi nagkakatuluyan.

Mas mabilis pa siya sa'min ni Novan... na parang naghihintayan lang ng gagawin at hindi alam kung ano ba dapat ang ilalagay muna sa relasyon namin.

I bit my lip. Novan and I haven't really shared anything intimate or very romantic. We're casual. Not that casual, but we're still casual at most times. 'Yung tipong minsanan lang sweet pero alam mong may nararamdaman sa isa't-isa.

I mean, we haven't directly said anything to each other, but I know and I feel how much he likes me. I hope he feels the same from me as well. Lagi namin 'yun pinapakita sa simpleng halikan sa pisngi at batian sa bahay, sa simpleng ayaan na kumain sa labas, at sa lahat-lahat.

We're still awkward, I admit. Kaya rin hindi kami masyadong open ay dahil parang tinatantya namin ang isa't-isa. We don't know what to do. It's like we're new to this even though we both knew things.

'Yun nga lang at sa mga linggong magkasama kami ay iniisip ko na lang kung may balak ba siyang i-level up kung anong mayroon kami. I mean, as a man himself, won't he push this? Because as what I jave observed, he's really... slow. Or maybe I'm just too impatient and fast.

Napapatanong na lang ako minsan. Is he planning to pursue me? Risk it like what I feel? Or just go with what we have now? Because it's confusing me if we're above friends, in a mutual understanding, or whatever.

We don't have any labels, but our actions are too... too above from being just friends, too casual as someone with mutual understanding, and too shallow for a relationship.

It made me realize that I didn't understand him until now. I don't know what are we aside from that, but I know we like each other. Love even... kahit hindi niya ako pinupursue o tinatanong kung gusto ko ba makipagrelasyon sakanya.

Sure, iba rin naman 'yung feeling na alam mong gusto ka niya at sinabi niya sa'yo, pero iba pa rin kapag pinursue ka. To be liked doesn't mean it's special. To be pursued is something else. That's when you knew that a man really desires to be with you, that he values his feelings as much as he values you.