Over Each Ruins (Virago Series #2)

his soul still stays

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CHAPTER EIGHTEEN
his soul still stays
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Novan is the perfect example that you can survive other wars but the war within you is still the hardest to conquer. You become a soldier of your own life. You will silently battle the chaos inside you - alone, discreet, and out of people's attention. And that is something... that not everyone can easily win.

"He has a phobia in holding and seeing guns or any other firearms. He developed that before we even met and before he stayed on his island." That's what Shaunt told me when he brought me back to the hospital.

Sa sobrang gulat ko ay hindi ako nakasagot sakanya. Kaya pala wala akong may nakitang baril o kahit na anong display man lang sa bahay ni Novan, kaya pala kahit na isa siyang sundalo noon ay si Nigel ang kumikitil sa buhay ng nangloloob sakanila, at kaya pala siya parang nawala sa wisyo nang binanggit kong may baril ako.

Nang mabaril naman ako ay... inagaw daw ni Novan ang baril kay Nigel at siya na mismo ang nagpaputok sa nagpaputok sa'kin.

Shaunt concluded that Novan acted out of impulse and adrenaline. His mental state forgot his fright of guns because I was shot. And he only remembered it when it was declared that I'm stable. Hence, he had a panic attack after.

"What Dr. Selene said about Novan's contract with them is true. Bawal siyang lumabas ng isla pero dahil ginusto niyang ihatid ka rito ay sinuway niya ang kontrata nila. Hence, he was taken by IMI. And when you were declared fine, he had a panic attack upon realization that he's holding a gun. That's also where... Dr. Selene arrived to pick him up." Pagdedetalye niya pa roon pa sa nangyari.

I was silenced completely then. Sinubukan kong ipaisa-isa pa sakanya ang mga nangyari pero kailangan niya pa raw tapusin ang rotation niya sa hospital. Nanatili naman ako sa kwarto ko't pilit na tinanggal muna sa isip ang pagkakasuspend ko ng isang buwan.

Dagdagan pa na pinalitan ako bilang doktor ni Novan gayong nabaril ako. Hindi ko alam kung ano 'yung rason o kung may nagawa ba akong mabigat bukod sa pag-alma ko sa desisyon nila pero sa pagkakaalam ko ay gusto ko lang naman makita at masiguradong maayos si Novan dito. Hindi naman ako gumawa ng kung anong mabigat.

And fuck... Novan ignored me! Just like that! Halos isang linggo kong inisip ang kalamigan ng ekspresyon niya't pag-ignora niya sa'kin!

I groaned.

I really don't want to think about the suspension and changes. It pains me knowing that my work went to vain, but I have to think rationally before acting on it. And to think rationally, I need time. A long one at that.

Lalo na rin ngayong lumalaki ang kagustuhan kong ako ang makatulong kay Novan at ako ang susunod na uupo bilang puno ng IMI.

And so, with that goal in mind, I spent another week inside the hospital to recover before Shaunt decided to discharge me. Ginamit ko ang pagkakataon na 'yun para makapag-isip ng gagawin at maikalma ko ang sarili mula sa nangyari.

Pinahiram din ako ng aparato ni Shaunt nang makalabas ako ng hospital para raw may matawagan akong kapamilya. That's also why I called Vienna para makituloy muna sakanya dahil siya lang ang pinakamalapit na walang ginagawa rito.

I don't want to disturb my other friends. I know they're quite busy as of the moment liban kay Vienna na prinsesa lang naman ng lahat kaya paniguradong wala siyang may ginagawa. I don't want to inform my family either dahil paniguradong sa Cadiz ang uwi ko gayong hindi ko pa natatapos ang problema ko rito.

Ayoko ring ipaalam sakanila na nabaril ako lalong-lalo na kay Aster. Baka ano pa magawa niya kapag nalaman niya.

A McLaren sports car beeping continuously in front of me made me snapped. Nakuha rin nu'n ang atensyon ng ilang bystanders lalo na nang tumigil 'yun sa mismong harap ko. Bumaba ang windshield at bumungad si Vienna na salubong ang kilay.