Over Each Ruins (Virago Series #2)

within her pace

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CHAPTER FIFTEEN
within her pace
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As I had expected, I woke up in a feeling of someone's broad arms above my waist. It was Novan's, of course. Mainit ang braso niya sa ibabaw ng tiyan ko at pakiramdam ko ay hindi ako maaaring gumalaw do'n dahil baka maistorbo ko ang mahimbing na tulog niya.

It wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be as well, but I don't know if the same goes to Novan kaya hindi ko napigilang salungatin ang kaninang nasa isip ko.

Baka bigla kasi siyang mahiya o maasiwa na nagising siyang nakaangkla ang braso o nakayakap sa'kin.

That's why I slowly removed his arm off of me before standing up to replace myself with a huge pillow. Laking pasasalamat ko nang hindi siya magising, mahimbing pa rin ang tulog niya't mukhang hindi rin siya magigising ilang minuto mula ngayon.

Napagpasyahan kong magluto dahil do'n. Bumaba ako nang tahimik at inaasahang bubungad sa'kin si Nigel sa may koridor pero kahit nakababa na ako ay walang Nigel na nagpakita sa'kin.

Sa halip ay isang piraso lang ng papel 'yung nando'n sa lamesa sa kusina. Agad ko 'yun binuksan kasi nakasulat naman na galing kay Nigel ang papel.

"Hm-m." I hummed silently as I read that he went to Dali this morning. Tutulungan niya raw muna si Dali sa paglalako at mamaya pa siya babalik.

Tahimik kong ibinulsa ang note bago nag-isip ng lulutuin. I thought of seafood pero tanging clams lang 'yung nandito sa ref ni Novan. With no choice, I decided na sasabawan ko na lang 'to at paparesan ng beef.

Habang naghahanda ay hindi mawala ang ngiti sa labi ko. I mean, who wouldn't be happy knowing that your patient is slowly lowering his walls for you? I'm sure that as a psychotherapist, the biggest award that we can get is to see our patient's willingness to live and continue... all despite the hindrances, all after the storms and rains.

I don't even know how many times should I mention it... but I'm just so happy no matter how small of a progress it is. A small progress is still a progress. It's something worth looking back into if you have already reached your goal.

"Morning."

Napatalon ako nang mahina sa gulat at napatingin sa bungad ng kusina kung sa'n si Novan nakatayo, humihikab pa't mukhang hindi naghilamos.

"Morning!" My surprise turned to smiles, "Did you sleep well?"

Kinusot niya ang mata, "I woke up when you left."

Napakurap ako, "Oh... sorry. I thought of cooking for us and you're sound asleep..."

"It's fine," He uttered, "Where's Nigel?"

I thinned my lip. Agad kong kinuha ang binulsa kong note bago 'yun nilahad sakanya, "He went to help Dali. It's just the two of us again. Are you hungry?"

Hindi niya kinuha ang papel, nakatingin lang siya sa'kin at parang hindi alam ang isasagot sa itinaong ko. Hindi ko na rin pinansin 'yun at mas piniling ipagpatuloy ang paghihiwa sa nakita kong ingredients bago 'yun isalang sa kumukulong tubig. Tahimik din akong nagdadasal na sana hindi plakda ang pagkaluto ko.

"Why is it so fine to you that I slept with you?" Tanong niya. Sumunod na narinig ko ang paghila niya sa upuan at pag-upo ro'n.

I continued stirring what I'm cooking, "It's nothing big, Nov. You're my patient. There will always come a time that I'll do bizzare things just to get you treated. To what extent it may be, I will still do it just for you to get better."

"Do you still... don't believe that I'm not mentally ill?"

Iniwasan kong huwag mabigla sa tanong niya. Pinanatili kong kalmado ang sarili habang naghahanap ng tamang salita para sagutin 'yun. Discussing his own mental illness to him is not that necessary unless he requests to do so, but now that he does it, parang wala akong may makuhang sagot.